Voluntary redundancy or not?

[scarecrow22]

I have a good, interesting job I have always wanted, but the hours are long so for the 4 days I work I only see DD for 1.5-2 hours in the morning and almost never at night. In addition I am concerned that after 20 years my career options are limited and do get frustrated by management (I have chosen to stay in vocation work).

I now have opportunity to take a generous VR package (net payment after tax equates to 18mo plus net salary). I would use that to take 6mo off for new baby (due 6 weeks) and start a part time masters in Autumn with a view to changing into a fairly appealing new career (less exciting but poss more room to grow and hopefully less erratic/long hours).

Or my employers have said in c a year when due return from maternity leave I can rerun to current job or they will do their best to find me a 3-3.5 day a week job. I do not doubt their sincerity, and am pretty confident they would find me a job- but there is a risk their jobs will change and/or the new job will be nori g or more limiting.

I know on paper so far this looks like an easy case to take the money. But I have wanted to have this career since I was 15, have a wonderful newish job/role for - to my mind - the best company in the sector, and all my identity, financial security and skills are wrapped up in what I do. It just breaks my heart to see DD (soon I guess DC) so little, and I fear I will never have another chance to make the leap.

Any thoughts? I have dithered too long and have to decide ASAP. Thank you.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

How old is DD?

[Piffpaffpoff]

Taking the VR will give you certainty of your situation now, and you will then be able to spend your ML looking for another job that suits you and your circumstances. However, there's no guarantee, of course, that you'll get another job.

Not taking it gives you the certainty of a job at the end of your ML but the downside of this is you don't know what that might be - you might be in your current role which you suggest is not ideal from a family point of view.

Option 1 gives you control of the situation plus a nice wodge of cash. I would probably lean towards that, but only you know what the future employment opportunities are for your area.

In my case, I took the money and am now freelancing part time. Pay is much, much less but the VR has given us a 'cushion' that enables us to cover any financial emergencies. As the children get older, my plan is to start looking for short term contracts, luckily there are plenty of these in my line of work.

Best of luck with the baby and whatever you choose to do.

[scarecrow22]

TheSilvery & PiffPaff thanks for taking time to read this and engage - really kind.
DD is 2y2m, baby due by ELCS 6wks today.
I would pretty well have to retrain - so money wd have to pay for fees, travel, childcare and my share of mortgage/bills/food. Just about poss but will be very tight. DH wants me to stay in job for financial security, but is then frequently overwhelmed by having to do 4 nights a week with one let alone 2 DCs. He is great with DD though.

[scarecrow22]

Bumping myself, if that's okay

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Am old gimmer, so am not entirely up to speed on ML these days -I see you get a year. I worry that the only way people can manage to see their first child growing up is to have another one - being slightly facetious here, but born of the joy I had being a SAHM of 2 DC 2:10 apart, for quite a long period. It's a good age difference :)

I had mine at 36 and 38, but had struggled to fulfil my potential (though bright enough) as was disorganised and depressed at work. So it's a slightly different scenario from yours.

Also in those days I got Home Responsibility Protection till the youngest was 16. For me this meant that I felt I was doing work that was at least recognised by society in some way, even though for some of that time I couldn't have been in paid employment because of ongoing depression. Until a few years ago, if both of a couple were unemployed, and had kids under 16, they could claim IS with only one having to look for work. This has been eroded until the age is now 5, I think? OTOH no 15 hours free nursery care in my young(er) days.

What am I saying? That things are scarily different today, times are harder with both parents having to work just to live. Also that life circumstances throw up dilemmas, and that it is hard to know what compromise to make between ambition, work, equality, and childcare whatever the time and place.

I have however, managed to fit in some worthwhile paid employment, and now I'm retired (and divorced from one of the major sources of my depression) there are still unfulfilled academic ambitions I am not unhopeful of realising.

I too would lean towards the VR and retraining, it gives you more chance to be flexible and encounter possibilites you haven't even thought of yet. Both options are a risk, I suppose, but the VR may perhaps put you more in control iyswim

[scarecrow22]

TheSilvery - so much of what you said struck a chord, thank you. I too had depression in past - the main reason I did not have DC in my 30s. Work pressure did not help at all (long hours and the self imposed stress of my v self-competitive/perfectionist/keen to please tendencies). I am we'll medicate now but had last week off with exhaustion because of overwork. These are obviously factors too (I tend to put aside depression now because meds work so well, plus don't want to embarrass people).

I am just so scared of giving up the only job I know, one i do so often really enjoy, and a source of so much of my identity. You give me courage...though might dither another couple if days! Thank you.

[scarecrow22]

PS excusing awful typos, it sounds like things worked out well for you eventually, I certainly hope so. I hope too you get the chance to do your further study.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Really understand job as identity. I always thought I would be an academic, but find it hard to structure myself, and also have a tendency to get hopelessly behind on paperwork.

I managed to re-invent my work, as it were, twice, the first by training as a CAB volunteer then getting f/t job - but clashed with management and also got v depressed. Then again I did volunteering mental health service user involvement, and eventually got p/t job - unfortunately there were problems with my co-worker going sick and eventually leaving - the job took over my head 24/7 and I ended up going sick and leaving. Part of this was poor management by my employers, part was that I can't sit there and suck it up just because someone has the title 'manager'.

Now I understand myself and my ways of working, I am having a productive (though unpaid!) time. Luckily do not need to earn a living now.

However, the CAB was in the 90's and the mh work was in the mid 2000's, it would be much harder to go that route today with all the cuts to everything. However, times change, new possibilities will emerge, which you can place yourself to take advantage of, as you see I am an innate optimist :)