Complaint about aggressive, intimidating colleague

(20 Posts)
BluelightsAndSirens Mon 18-Feb-13 21:24:11

I'm pleased for you smile

pluCaChange Mon 18-Feb-13 09:44:28

!! smile

Leverette Mon 18-Feb-13 08:05:30

I forgot to update blush Sorry

Manager apologised for taking ages, said he'd wanted to speak to other colleagues on duty at the time to see if anyone had seen or heard anything - they hadn't.

He said he didn't need corroboration, that he did believe me, but that witnesses 'make his life easier'.

He said he'd spoken to the aggressive person, who had said
1) they were really stressed at the time
2) they hadn't meant to be rude etc
3) I was being oversensitive because he can't help being 6' 3"

I demolished each of those three excuses calmly and said how clear it was to me that they were all attempts to avoid taking responsibility for his behaviour and its impact, which is concerning.

Manager said he had realised that this person has never behaved like this in his presence, which tells him that he can control this behaviour (I was so thrilled to hear this) and has issued a written warning which will be active on his file for a year.

A better outcome than I envisaged smile

BluelightsAndSirens Sun 17-Feb-13 23:14:10

How did you get on? I love Fads email!

pluCaChange Thu 31-Jan-13 21:17:36

Follow up with HR, or with your manager, under a pretext of checking when it is likely to be dealt with, so you don't book clashing annual leave?

Leverette Sat 26-Jan-13 19:19:30

Haven't heard anything further. How long should I leave it before nudging? I don't feel sweeping under the carpet is an effective managerial response...

Lovemynailstoday Tue 08-Jan-13 11:29:52

Watching this thread with interest. I resigned from (private) healthcare due to bullying as management dumped it all on me to "prove" my case. Never heard of anyone actually being fired for being a bully. I wish you lots of luck, though, maybe NHS is better.

annh Mon 07-Jan-13 21:49:27

I knew there would be a procedure to be followed, rather than your manager seemingly expecting you to make it up as you went along!

FadBook Mon 07-Jan-13 20:43:47

Well done OP. actually sound like the HR department have initiated the first steps which is good.

Keep us updated, even if by PM (I work in HR so intrigued as to what your HR dept will do next!)

Leverette Mon 07-Jan-13 19:30:37

Just to update...was approached by wet blanket manager today who was keen to tell me that he'd discussed my incident form with HR and they'd stipulated that they were obliged to conduct a formal investigation.

I've confirmed that I am happy to participate and agreed that it is a proportionate and fair response.

If there's one thing in life I can't abide it's bullies.

Bearcat Sat 05-Jan-13 17:15:07

If you go down the grievance route they will have to investigate it properly (hopefullyhmm).
I think you also have to state what you would want the 'outcome' to be.
You have already filled out an incident form and now you need to decide whether to go forward to a grievance. I think that is what your boss is getting at.
Sometimes you have to stand up for what is right to stop these monstrous people.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 05-Jan-13 11:02:25

I am a workplace counsellor and most of my job comes as a result of piss weak managers refusing to do anything about people like this. "Consider what you feel needs to be done?" He is hoping you'll drop it. (I saw this with a grievance - the boss said to the person putting in the grievance "Have you thought very seriously about this? It won't be a pleasant process you know, and could have serious repercussions for you.")

So what Fadbook said - you want the proper procedures to be adhered to and will co-operate fully in line with them. What you don't want is for the manager to just "have a word" with him - either this won't happen or it will be along the lines of "oh she was a bit upset, try not to upset her again, there's a good chap - women, eh?"

Leverette Sat 05-Jan-13 09:58:21

FadBook you are a bloody genius thanks

Thank you all for your posts, I'll update...

FadBook Sat 05-Jan-13 00:48:36

I would respond to the manager, in writing (by email), stating something like this:

Following your request for me to consider what action should be taken with Joe Bloggs, I request that a full investigation is initiated by you into Joe's serious inappropriate and aggressive behaviour on x date towards me.

As detailed on my incident report, Joe was aggressive in his manner and behaved completely inappropriately in the workplace (add more detail here in terms of how you felt, i.e. scared, vulnerable)

I am happy to take part in any investigative interviews with you, so you can gain a better picture of what happened and i understand these interview notes may be used as evidence to present to Joe, when you confront him about my concerns about his inappropriate behaviour.

I would also like to mention, on record, that this is not the first time I have witnessed Joe's inappropriate aggressive behaviour and I trust that you as his manager, will follow the correct NHS disciplianry policy, and fully investigate this particular matter immediately. His behaviour potentially comes under Gross Misconduct according to the Disciplinary policy.

Hopefully the italics have worked!

I'm making massive assumptions that him acting out on you was aggressive and towards you- if so, then it could be seen as gross misconduct and he could be dismissed (following full investigation and then a disciplinary hearing). If it is a milder version of inappropriate behaviour (eg a two way argument, angry but at himself not directly towards you...) it could be a conduct issue but not gross and warrant a warning (1st, final depending on your NHS disciplinary policy). Either way, your manager needs to take action now and not stand around doing nothing.

Your manager is taking a very soft approach following receipt of your incident report. Could it be he thinks you two had a disagreement and it was 6 of one, half a dozen of the other? Have you clashed in the past with this person? By asking you what you want to happen,he's trying to suss how far you wish to take it. The response above, should be clear enough!

Let us know how you get on.

annh Sat 05-Jan-13 00:20:37

Why should you decide what the action should be? If you suggest parading him through the reception area with a sandwich board detailing his failings, will they act upon that? Unless you have HR training, how do you know what is an acceptable and legally correct method of dealing with aggression and abuse? I would go back to your manager and ask them to follow up on your complaint with the appropriate, documented disciplinary procedure. This is the NHS, not some one-man show. They will have policies in place.

AlexanderS Sat 05-Jan-13 00:10:24

Contact your union rep for advice. Or join a union and then contact your union rep.

DevaDiva Fri 04-Jan-13 23:46:39

Punctuation even blush

DevaDiva Fri 04-Jan-13 23:46:04

Well they should follow procedure surely? It's not up to you to decide, nice one for speaking up. Too much goes unreported IME. terrible grammar I blame the vodka

Snusmumriken Fri 04-Jan-13 21:55:27

I am sorry that I don't have any advice to give. I didn't want your post to go unanswered.

A similar thing happened to me when I was younger. A male co-worker stuck a finger down the back of my pants. His manager asked me to suggest how he aught to be disciplined. I asked them to follow their sexual harassment policy.

To cut a long story short, I ended up leaving the company soon after. My co-worker 'had a stern talking to'.

I hope that your situation is managed better!

Leverette Fri 04-Jan-13 20:33:20

Will try to be brief.

NHS clinical setting but specialised area so not too stressful.

Male member of staff has long history of 'acting out' towards colleagues, mostly females. Is known for being Jekylk and Hyde.

This involves grandiosity, sneering, sarcasm and goading plus accompanying non verbal puffing up chest, invading personal space and clenching fists by his side.

Many complaints have been made but never handled effectively by his manager, ie he still does it when he feels like it.

He acted out at me the other day and I completed an NHS incident form to report his intimidating physical aggression and verbal abuse.

I've been approached by his manager who has asked me to consider over the weekend what I feel needs to be done.

Any advice gratefully received. I am disappointed that it seems the buck has been passed back to me.

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