Mumsnet Talk

Thanks for posts.

This is all so new!

There is absolutely nothing to suggest this other adviser will 'harass' the OPs DH.

Interesting that the GP feels an OH would be better, that surprises me really, I would have been less surprised the other way round, if they'd felt an OH would not have expert knowledge of depression which a counsellor would.

Either way, cooperating is in his interest.

Work don't want a second opinion but advice on what adjustments should be made, what duties could he do when he does return etc. DHs issue and the of the GP is that she is not occupational health.

Flowery- your comment that he could be seen to be obstructive is just what I need to know; the next steps in the process.

It can be detrimental and inappropriate to question and harrass someone about depression. Depression is a serious mental health illness and can be brought on by numerous reasons. Some reasons/causes can be extremely personal and sensitive. A person suffering with depression is vulnerable and does not need added pressure. The OP DH is receiving treatment under his doctor and employers should respect the advice and qualifications of a GP. If a GP has signed someone off sick then the employer has to accept and respect that.

Agree with flowery

Why would it be detrimental or inappropriate StopPicking?

It's perfectly appropriate for an employer to want to take medical advice from their own appointed doctor in a situation where someone is/will be off sick for 6 months, and no reason to believe it will be detrimental to the employee to do so.

You are right that they can't insist though, but if he doesn't cooperate that will be taken into account when they make any decisions about him going forward.

Could you get a Doctors letter stating that they do not feel it is in your DH best interests or appropriate to be assessed by another councellor? It could be detrimental to your DH treatment. They would not be obliged to divulge to employers the whys etc as it is all confidential.
I don't think his employers can insist on it especially if your DH has GPs full support. He has been signed off and employer could be seen as harrassing if they persist.

Thanks flowery. I do think it's a bit strange. I think its because the person is another counsellor rather than a occupational health person.

TBH I think this has more to do with DH current mental state than his employers but how I manage that is a whole other thread!

That's not particularly helpful of the GP and counsellor tbh. They should be encouraging him to cooperate with his employers, and unless they have personal knowledge of the person the employer is asking him to see, and reason to believe she is not competent, it's irresponsible of them to do otherwise.

I think he feels there will be conflicting advice although they have assured that it's not a second opinion.

It's the reaction of the GP and counsellor which have fuelled his thoughts.

It's good to hear that you feel the are doing the right thing. I think they are too but its hard to make him see that.

As work is the 'trigger' for the anxiety and depression there is a lot to battle through.

Thanks for the reply

Sounds like they are doing everything right really. It's perfectly normal and acceptable for them to want an opinion from their own medical adviser, and if he's been off this long and is signed off again until January, it's surprising they haven't done it sooner really. Good that they sought advice from his GP first.

Why do his GP and counsellor feel this other adviser will not be helpful? Why doesn't your DH want to see her, what's his concern?

It's hard to see how it is not in his interest to cooperate really.

Goodness that's long

DH has been off work since July with depression. He has been signed off again until Jan.

His work is small with no HR team and I am struggling with what should be happening and what shouldn't with regards to his return to work.

He is not ready to go back. He is on strong ADs seeing a counsellor weekly and beginning to make some progress.

His work have been good so far. No contact no hassle. There is an underlying feeling of unhappiness from them.

They do not have a HR dept and have been taking advice. They have requested medical report on his condition (which was supplied) along with asking the GP for suggestions to aid his return.

He had a face to face meeting with them where the MD gave a very negative view on the GPs recommendations "well that's not going to work" at the suggestion of working from home. DH came away very upset at the negativity.

He has since been requested by his work to see another counsellor to asses him
Over 3 sessions and to make recommendations to his work.

Both his GP and counsellor feel this would not be helpful and made their own suggestions of Consultants within the field.

Work had rejected this and still want him to see their requested lady.

So....what now? DH feels he is being bullied into doing something he doesn't want to do.

What will happen if he doesn't attend? What are the next stages in the process for employers and employees?

Sorry for the ramble!