Oh shit, DS lost another job

(12 Posts)
foofooyeah Thu 29-Nov-12 14:26:55

God I am so fed up / angry

My dopey 19 yo son has just been sacked from another job.

He had a brief job Nov last year and was let go as not interested.

Another job from Jan - Jun of this year, let go at half year review as seemed uninterested and unhappy.

Started new job last month - and was told today he was no longer required. This time does seem a bit unfair as he had to leave early yesterday to go to Drs appt (was in a lot of pain) went back today with Drs cert but told he no longer had a job.
Now with his track record Im sure it was more than just that - and it was prob an ideal opportunity to get rid of him. They did say he was a hardworker and good timekeeper but didnt seem suited to the job.

WTF do I do with him ? I am really at my wits end. I feel that now he is unemployable - all his friends are wasters on JSA. I am livid.

foofooyeah Thu 29-Nov-12 14:27:22

Havent told anyone in RL yet as I am so embarrassed and angry.

Pancakeflipper Thu 29-Nov-12 14:31:12

Sounds like he will only be motivated doing a job he wants to do - think he needs to look at what his interests are and what he would like to do.

Also if he's home give him jobs to do so he keeps getting up, keeps doing things and what about those centres that offer free courses for unemployed people so he's doing something productive to help him get a job?

foofooyeah Thu 29-Nov-12 16:03:21

I did say if he blew this job he would have to leave home - not sure i can cope with this anymore. Am I being too harsh ??

He is immature for his age but for gods sake how many times does this have to happen for him to learn?

Your right of course pancake - but if only he had an idea what he wanted to do

missingmumxox Sat 01-Dec-12 02:45:41

and breath, I used to wonder why my cousins where in and out of jobs all the time, me and my brother both trained I am a nurse, brother a chef in the Army he retires this month at 40, my cousins took jobs like you discribe your son has been doing, it was only 2 years ago it occured to me, it is because the jobs are shit not the person.
like your son all of my cousins have been almost aways in employment but let go, left, short periods of unemployment, but it was only living with my much younger cousin she was 24 at the time realised the reality, at the time she ws working as a "deputy" manager in a wine bar little more than minium wage, 1 day a week off, but mostly evenings/late night 4 am and split shifts, she got a second job, they told her full time hours mon to sat 2 days off, but they need committement from her, wage better by a £1 an hour and no split shifts, but a 30 min journey on the train, where as her bar work was just up the road, she took it as they seemed to give her, her life back,
she gave up her bar work as they told her they did not employeee people who worked for 2 employers ...because they could not commit and could not be loyal, she was rewarded with a zero hours contract, they employed so many people on this type of contract she was getting on a good week 2 shifts, and ta dar! they where split, so she would get up at 6am to be in to do breakfast at 9am then from 10.30 til 12.30 off work til 6.30. a well known pasty chain
she stuck this out for 18 months, then got a job in a call centre, which 2 years down the line she is still doing and loves, she gets a salary and over time + commission, she gets loads of commission, smile but I knew the world had changed when she got tht job at 26 and went throught the contract and announced this is shit where is my hourly rate?
me and her mum had to explain what a salary meant, I was shocked, turned out she didn't have a single friend who earned a salary or had fixed hours.
so don't beat him up over it at least he gos out and gets a job, even if it doesn't last the stories my cousins could tell about being laid off because their employer had a slack month, then phoned a few months later to come back are uncountable, I have only given you one example from my family.

Chottie Sat 01-Dec-12 02:54:16

I would also be making sure he has some structure in his life. List of jobs, volunteering (is he interested in football, rugby, cricket? helping with a local under 11s?) What does his Dad say? does he need a father-son talk?

Would he be better going back to college part-time or evenings and upping his qualifications?

It's not easy shock being a mum to a young adult

LadyWidmerpool Sat 01-Dec-12 03:46:17

It's nor easy making your way in the world. From what you say it sounds as if your son has been let got for some pretty vague reasons. If one of my team was unhappy or uninterested I would try to work with them to change that, not just sack them for it! Unless there is a lot more to it i.e.disciplinary issues you haven't mentioned, I wouldn't write him off just yet. Is he generally unhappy/uninterested in things? Could he have depression? It's very common in young men and very treatable.

foofooyeah Tue 11-Dec-12 12:23:35

Thanks for your replies. Just to follow up I actually had a long chat with his former boss and the reasons were very valid and I had only been getting half the story. (no surprise there). He was a smashing bloke who said that my son was actually a nice young man but needed some discipline and direction in his life.

Anyway he has now broken his leg so can't really work anyway at the moment. I do think he has an issue with depression and being stuck in isnt helping.

I pray I shall look back on this time and laugh one day.

Fairylea Tue 11-Dec-12 12:29:46

Sorry to hear about your son.

I am having similar issues.... with my dh!! (Thread in relationships "angry and not sure I'm being heartless").

Your son however has time on his side. Hopefully he will sort himself out.

foofooyeah Tue 11-Dec-12 12:38:56

Thanks Fairy - shall check out your thread

lookingfoxy Tue 11-Dec-12 15:34:07

I could have writen this about my younger brother years ago, so unmotivated, shit jobs etc, I really worried about him.
Fast forward to do something he's interested in, he is now very successful in the music industry not pop star type thing but more business side, he gets to travel the world! It was really the only thing he was ever interested in and started by going to college.
Would it be an option for your son to go to college and do a course that he's interested in?

foofooyeah Wed 12-Dec-12 09:51:03

It would be an option but he will have to find a way of supporting himself through this, and find a course and apply for it himself. I am fed up of doing everything for him - he has been given second chances etc. If there is something he really wants to do surely he can get the motivation up to strive for it?

I think I need to be really tough with him.

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