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help-friends parents living in squalor

(3 Posts)
sallybee30 Fri 25-Nov-16 19:34:15

posting for a friend who cant cope any more-and I just don't know how to help her. her parents have always liked a drink, her mum has carried on in moderation but her dad has been drinking to excess several years and now has cirrhosis and alcoholic dementia. he has been sectioned for severe self neglect and malnutrition a few months ago but the psychiatrist said this week that he has capacity to choose and social services say they will get someone to do the cleaning, that's about it, but he sends everyone away. The GP arranged for them to visit but says he cant make him go into hospital. the house is filthy and he's incontinent everywhere as he just sits on the sofa as he's so weak and hasn't changed his clothes or washed for weeks. my friend cant face going round any more and her mum just sits saying she cannot cope, is there really nothing else any service can offer? I feel like telling her to call 999 but I know that's stupid. any advice appreciated!

ChocAddict2016 Tue 06-Dec-16 08:13:05

I have read your post a few times

Maybe you should repost your question in AIBU section so that more people can offer you some advice

There must me ways that help can be provided for both of the parents

DoItTooJulia Tue 06-Dec-16 08:21:31

It is very difficult to get help for people that don't want it-SS can't force a standard of living on people that they deem capable of making their own decision about it.

Do they own their own home? Because if it is a council or HA property it is easier to get help because they may be breaking the terms of their tenancy.

If the house smells and has rodents and is affecting a neighbour they may complain to EH who can use statutory powers to clear out the house, no matter the ownership.

It sounds to me like the underlying issues need addressing in conjunction with the squalor. If they're not addressed the house will revert to squalor pretty quickly.

Your friend needs to get all the info together about her parents potential future options. Are they going to be able to continue to live independently for much longer? If not she needs to get everything researched for the next step.

flowers it is very difficult and soul destroying.

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