Is it creepy to keep a tab on your parents?

[foodisbetterwithwine]

Hello all!

I'm really not sure about this: DH just got a home monitoring solution for his parents (live really far) which works with cameras and everything. He's worried because his dad has fallen but this seems a bit extreme... Anyone else been through this?

I don't know if I should try and stop him, but what if something goes wrong just after that?

[SunnySomer]

I've not been through it, but my next door neighbour is 95 and we have an agreement that she can call me whenever she feels unwell (literally any time) and that I'll keep an eye out for uncharacteristic things e.g. bedroom window not open in the morning, and investigate if I'm concerned.
Her children are far away (3 & 5 hours drive) so response times wouldn't be great if NDN had a problem/fall.
Does your FIL have nice neighbours who could keep an eye on him? I can understand why your DH feels the way he does, but if I was your fil i'd hate it!

[ImperialBlether]

My mum has something on her wrist (I think!) which she presses if she falls. It links in to the landline. If she presses it, an operator speaks to her through the landline handset. If my mum couldn't be heard, they send for an ambulance and they call my sister who lives nearby.

[wiolettachaddy]

Totally had the same problem, we looked for ages and eventually my father got a similar thing as ImperialBlether, but it's an app that works off the (smart)phone - a lot less intrusive that way! They'd need a smartphone though, I guess dad is quite ahead for his 83 years!

[hatgirl]

There are less extreme options that can be considered before cameras, but ultimately it's up to his parents, if they re happy with it crack on I guess!

If they aren't happy with it he might like to look at asking the local council to fit and provide telecare systems which can include things like fall monitors and door sensors, and possibly discuss other support options locally with his parents at the same time.

[foodisbetterwithwine]

Wow! Good points - we talked to local authorities but they weren't much help, they took ages to respond so DH decided to get it himself. I guess something like a fall monitor would be less intrusive but FIL especially would never wear something that spells it out so much all over the place. We're trying to get them to use mobile phones, what's the app wiolettachaddy? MIL has an ongoing feud with the neighbours so not sure that would be an option, they'd probably help trip them up

[PotteringAlong]

Do his parents know about it?

[poisonedbypen]

There is a thing you can plug appliances into - such as a kettle or TV, and if it isn't used by a certain time it calls you. Less intrusive than cameras.

[foodisbetterwithwine]

We talked to them about it - they're fully able-bodied (barring a little lack of movement) and MIL was also worried for FIL so she was supporting DH. The idea of a pendant freaked FIL a lot more than the cameras, so I think that's why DH went for that...

[wiolettachaddy]

The app called MyKin - it does the trick but it only works on smart phones (Android), not all mobile phones!

[wiolettachaddy]

I think this is it: play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sentimoto.android.kin&hl=en_GB

[foodisbetterwithwine]

Thanks! I'll give it a shot... we gave them a Samsung last year. Is Android the same as Samsung? (not too good with this myself )

[Embolio]

My gran has a pendant, pretty useless as she WILL NOT press it if anything happens. She lives in sheltered accommodation so someone could be there nearly instantly but she 'doesn't want to be a bother' so has lain on the floor for hours in the past. So worrying. I think if PIL are happy with cameras go ahead, it would be different of course if done without their knowledge.

[wiolettachaddy]

Happy to help, hope it works for your FIL. Better than living in the Truman Show