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Elderly parents

Any advice on getting help for mum

2 replies

kansasmum · 28/06/2016 16:24

My mum is very very difficult to deal with. She's not a nice person most of the time - self centred self absorbed and plays my sister and I off against each other. My sister and I both know what she's like and support each other.

Mums memory is shocking at times. She forgets what day it is etc. Forgets about her tablets despite them being in dosette box etc. She can also conveniently forget things when it suits her.
She lost the remote control for bedroom tv and said dsis or I had moved it- we hadn't. Found it wrapped up in the blanket that goes on her bed. She obviously wrapped it up without realising but completely denied it despite being the only person to touch the blanket.
She never is wrong even when you point out she clearly is with evidence!!

I spoke to her gp a few months ago and she had a memory test which she passed absolutely fine!
She denies there is a problem, won't discuss it ( probably fear/denial which I understand) but it's getting worse.
Not sure how I'd go if I contact gp myself. Would they discuss anything with me without her consent.
She flatly refuses to have any help in the house so my sister and I do all the cleaning, shopping, hospital Appts etc yet she tells anyone she speaks to that we never go & see her or do anything to help her.
Don't know what to do for the best Sad

Am concerned about her memory although she hasn't done anything dangerous like leave hob on etc- YET!
But it's getting worse.

Any advice on getting help?

OP posts:
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VioletBam · 29/06/2016 01:49

What you list seem like quite ordinary things...as in most elderly people forget little things like where the remote has gone and what day it is...I'm only 43 and I do both!

My Mum is 70 and still works yet she forgets things all the time too...it's quite normal.

If she's had a memory test and passed, then she's ok...what I think you're needing is a reason to get her some extra help in because it's too much for you and your sister...helping someone who isn't that nice to you.

Could you just insist she has a cleaner?

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RalphBlake · 02/07/2016 13:17

I think should hire a caregiver for her care.

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