New to this forum. Only just found it. (Thanks so much to the posters who replied on chat and directed me here.)
I visited my parents yesterday and found them in a pretty awful state - a rat in the conservatory, the kitchen sink was blocked and smelled foul, the chairs that they sit to eat on every day were literally falling apart with legs coming off in your hands if you moved them. They could have fallen and had a really bad break from one of them. Worst of all, my dad had been for a long hospital visit last week without telling anyone or getting anyone to come with him. Afterwards he felt dizzy, collapsed in the hospital toilets and cut his skull. He had four inches of stitches along his head. When it came for him to need someone to collect him, he insisted my mother did it. She has senile dementia and might not have made it to hospital (but did manage to) and also has an incredibly painful hip which they insist is muscle strain (for seven months?) so she can barely walk or leave the house.
My mum is now very withdrawn and spends most of her life in bed. My dad is and always has been an aggressive, combative man. He insists they need no help. he refuses to contemplate moving. I think my mum would love to move in with us, and I'd be happy to have her as she is very gentle and sweet. But I wouldn't expose DC to my father's non-stop rants and rages. Also, he wouldn't want to live with us. He loves their falling apart house.
I made him promise never to attend another hospital appointment without me, and he did agree. But I just wish I knew what to do for the best. they live in inner London and there's no help for the aged at all in their borough. The council website advice is: if you are elderly and live in this borough, we advise you to move. There's no sheltered housing or assisted living here and none planned.
I live 1.5 hours travel away, outside London, the nearest by a long way. It's manageable to get to them (though expensive and time consuming) but my dad refuses to move nearer us. What can I do?
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Elderly parents
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12 replies
notagiraffe · 03/05/2016 12:04
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