Hi, just wondered if anyone has experience of getting PoA for an elderly parent - no idea how to go about it.
MIL has dementia and it's getting worse, she's just been with us for three days and we were shocked at how bad she is now, she got progressively worse over the short time she was here too.
Today DH drove her home (min two hours drive so not local) and there were two letters from her bank saying they'd refused to pay a cheque she'd written for a large sum (five figures), as she had insufficient funds. Unfortunately they didn't say who the payee was.
Of course she has no memory of anything, and wouldn't have even if she'd written it quite willingly herself, but there are massive alarm bells ringing - either she was conned into writing it or someone has done it fraudulently. (She hasn't bought or paid for anything like work on the house that would cost that much, we know.)
She did say recently that one of her other (adult) DGSs had been round and stolen £25 from her - she also accused us of extorting money from her, back when the dementia first started, so we thought it was more of the same but now we are wondering if there's a grain of truth there. It's very difficult as BIL and his family have pretty much gone NC with her and also with us, so it's hard to know what's going on, whether the DGS even visited at all. (She has historically always favoured DH over BIL, and BIL's been the classic scapegoat, hence them going NC.)
Anyway, DH obviously wants to contact the bank ASAP but without PoA we presume there's not much he can do, doubt the bank will even tell him who the payee was for this cheque. But she really needs protecting - if the cheque had been for a smaller but still significant amount that she did have, they would presumably have paid it and she would have had her account completely cleared out.
She is also getting to the point where she can't manage alone, although she has (just about) till now. She needs carers and ultimately possibly a care home, and she has a fairly decent pension and some savings so again DH would need to have access to her money to organise that, we cannot afford to pay for care for her ourselves.
So how does he go about getting PoA? Can anyone advise? All we've managed to do so far is get her to give consent for her GP to discuss her medical issues and care with DH, which was a start, but obviously not much help here - and that was a big enough struggle to sort out!
Sorry if this is all a bit unclear and TIA if you can help.
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Elderly parents
PoA for MIL with dementia
15 replies
AngryRabbit · 27/12/2015 18:07
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