I have posted before but briefly my Mum has been very ill since just before Christmas. She was in hospital for a long period and then back in again because she ruptured her spleen. She has been home for 9 weeks and has been struggling with mobility.
Consultants dont really know what is wrong with her and are now debating either Parkinsons or early stage dementia.Her main issues are mobiliity and halucinations.
She lives with my Dad - she still has one care visit a day which has been reduced from 3 double up calls but she no longer needs so much care. I have been a bit insistent that she has at least one visit a day for the forseeable future.
Dad does pretty much everything else - they have higher rate AA so could have more help if they wanted with domestic stuff (they have funding for the care) but he does not want this saying that 'he has enough people tramping in and out as it is'.
My Dad does not cope with things - never has never will. I would never be able to get him to go to the doctors if he was depressed. He has been depressed before and refused AD's or any help.
My parents have also always had a volitile relationship - I grew up with them screaming at each other every night - thats just the way they are. My Dad isnt particularly nice - he has always said things in a nasty/aggressive way and my Mum goads him so they are as bad as each other in some ways.
My Dad has also been very emotionally manipulative to me and I have had some issues with anxiety and have had some counselling and CBT. I live a distance away, have a job and a small family so its hard to visit.
However in the last couple of weeks they have been worrying me. I rang two weeks ago and they were mid screaming match - my Mum was hysterical and my Dad had been telling her he was going to put her in a home. He had been banging and slamming things about- the main cause from what I can work out is that he didnt want to do the housework. But I imagine that my Mum may have been saying things to wind him up too. I calmed her down and Dad did admit that he should be more careful about what he says to her.
I was away at the weekend and called them yesterday. Mum had been having halucinations all weekend and had been quite bad - she sees snakes and they scare her alot. I think Dad is wuite impatient about them and shouts at her that they are not real. She told me that Dad had told her he was going to smash her in the face and pack his bags and leave her. While I was talking to her Dad was cooking and I heard him says 'I didnt say that at all'
I just don't know what to do - is this just them doing what they always do or is a sign that my Dad is just not coping at all and taking it out on Mum.
Should I ring Social services or just wait and see for a while and just monitor it.
I just dont know what to do.
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3 replies
oldguygirl · 07/07/2015 09:55
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