When is forgetful something more than just, well, forgetful.

[treaclesoda]

My parents are in their 80s. My dad is frail, although not in terrible health, considering his age. He is still independent, can take care of himself, can drive (and drive well - nothing that causes us concern there, he is very careful, but not tootling along at 15mph in the middle of the road).

Anyway, a few times recently, he has had telephone conversations then as soon as he if off the phone he will tell my mum that he can't remember what it was about.

It's very worrying. But then again, it's not all the time, only sometimes. And he does still seem to be quite sharp and clear minded when it comes to dealing with things like banking and insurance, it's more the trivial stuff that he seems to forget.

Should I be worried?

[bobs123]

I should only be worried if he is worried. He sounds like he is doing amazingly well. If he expresses concern, there are some quite simple tests that doctors can do. I would have thought that some memory issues would be normal at his age - and as you say, it's only the trivial stuff. I'd be made up if I got to his age and that's all I had wrong with me!

[CMOTDibbler]

Is it only on the phone that he forgets what has been said? Or can you have a face to face conversation that he isn't clear about?

[JustWantToBeDorisAgain]

Are there any other health concerns that may affect his memory ( recent infections ? New medications? Etc)

If not then it may be worth talking to him about getting a GP appointment for blood tests and screening to make sure nothing else is going on. As many other things can cause memory loss. If the screen comes back negative then your father could ask for a referal to memory clinic which should investigate which part of his memory he is struggling with.

If ( big If) he were to be referred to the memory clinic and ultimately (this can often take a very long time of watching and waiting) receive a dementia diagnosis there are medications that can be taken for certain types of dementia which may slow the onset of symptoms ,he and your mum would be able to make plans for the future ( care finance etc).

The Alzheimer's society is a great resource ( online and real life) for anyone with questions about memory loss, they continually campaign to raise awareness to encourage people to seek help if they are experiencing memory loss.

[treaclesoda]

Thanks everyone.

As far as I can see it's mostly phone conversations. I think his hearing is ok, for his age, but of course it's possible that he finds it harder to hear on the phone than face to face?

He does take quite a lot of medication for various other conditions and does suffer some physical side effects. The lack of recall does seem to coincide with the days when he is experiencing physical symptoms, eg dizzy spells, so would it be possible for the memory to be related to generally not feeling great?

[Littleham]

Have been through this with FIL and MIL who both have dementia.

Signs were -

• Multiple of bumps / accidents in car which were 'never FIL's' fault.
  
• Inability to deal with money / recognise coins / often though a 10p was a pound coin.
  
• Complete loss of ability with technology, even things like the TV remote control.
  
• Messing up medication / tablets.
  
• Loss of ability to cook.
  
• Forgetting messages / names / asking very repetitive questions.
  
• Struggling to find the right words.
  
• Losing things.
  
• Complete inability to organise.
  
  They are now in full blown dementia (and in a care home) . They often get family members muddled up and talk frequently about visits to the home by friends who have been dead for over 20 years!
  
  Your father doesn't sound like he has any of these symptoms, but you could watch out for it.

[Needmoresleep]

You should get him to the GP if you can. Littleham's list is a good one but as she says your dad does not sounds as if this is it.

My dad started being quite odd. Difficult to pin down though he would phone me three times in an hour, with the same logical conversation, yet was otherwise with it. It was difficult to convince other family members there was a problem. He then had a blood test which suggested he had cancer, and from then it was relatively easy to work out it was in his brain.

It obviously could be other things. Hormones, reaction to medication, whatever. You could try phoning the GP expressing your concerns and ask if he could be invited in for a general check.

FWIW I think DF was very lucky. Four months to get his affairs in order and say goodbye, no pain and he then died at home in his sleep.

[treaclesoda]

Thanks for your advice everyone, I'll definitely keep an eye on things and I'll talk to my mum about it and see if we can encourage him to discuss it with the doctor.

I'm so sorry for those who have experience of these things.