Advice needed about nursing homes

[Allfurcoatandnoknickers]

Mum is 89yo with very poor mobility, incontinence but no other health problems. She had a fall, ended up in hospital with a sprained ankle and is now in an Nhs off site bed in a nursing home for physio rehab. During the week when she has the physio she makes some progress and is aiming to build up her walking to be able to go back home, which is all she really wants. The physios haven't been very positive, and I do feel that it's unlikely that her mobility will improve very much at all.
The home is okayish but I feel upset to see her having to wait a long time for a nurse to come and help her to the loo as she can't do so unassisted. She's not very assertive, and doesn't like to make a fuss, and I feel she's been forgotten about.
She's only been in the home for 10 days, and I know that it's early days, but I'm at a loss what I can do. My sister's made a knee jerk reaction, saying she wants her to come home as her carers can look after her (she's been having four lots of care at home a day), but in doing so I worry that she's missing out on the rehab, which could potentially help her...
Any advice would be really helpful...

[Kickassandlollipops]

Hi just a quick question , was mum able to use the toilet before she went into rehab or did her carers assist her? I assume she has a morning, lunch, tea time and a bed time call would this still be adequate care to meet her needs ? I would have a chat with your care provider and see what can be be put into place before making a hasty choice , also voice your concerns to the home as the saying goes "those who shout
loudest " speak to mum too make sure she she has her pull cord to hand and not be afraid to use it.

[whitechocolatestars]

Hi, I understand what a difficult time this must be for you all. It sounds like you have a lot of experience around the care considerations for your mum so this is more about making the right decision for your mum. My advice would be:

1. Go and visit lots of nursing homes to see how you feel about them. They are all extremely different and you may find one you like, she doesn't have to stay in this one. There is likely to be a waiting list.
   
   
2. Remember most nursing homes don't provide any continuous therapy / rehab. They could at best manage a few exercises if you asked them to each day but you'd need to buy in additional services if you really want them.
   
   
3. make a decision that is sustainable for all of you. Many nursing homes will offer respite which can be a good way of introducing someone to a home for a few weeks (and seeing how they settle) before going back home more permanently. You could do this and continue with having your mum at home yet taking occasional respite periods in a home you like so that she is more familiar with it if / when the time comes that you need something permanent.
   
   PM me if you want any more info on questions to ask etc, I am going through a similar situation and have found lots of useful resources.
   
   All the best

[Allfurcoatandnoknickers]

Hi. Yes mum could just about manage to use the toilet herself, and a commode during the night. The physios have said they will do a home assessment before she goes home to ensure everything is in place before she goes home. As far as pressing the buzzer is concerned, mum only has one in her private room, but not in the day room. She said she had to bang on a table to attract attention, and then the nurse will say be back in five minutes and it can be more like 20 or more minutes.
Whilst we have a PoA for mum, we have been told numerous times that whilst ever she has capacity, she has the right to choose to stay in her own home which she definitely wants to do. Sadly, I feel its a very unwise choice, as her mobility is so poor, but she is adamant that she will not go into a home. Could the physios recommend that she go into a home, and can at any point this override her wishes?

[Kickassandlollipops]

Oh dear sounds like your in a difficult position, it sounds to me that mum would be better off ( care wise ) in a home but if she's adamant and has capacity and she is also deemed not at risk your a bit stuck , as poster above says day care is a good option and can be used as a transitional period , I have seen first hand this working well in the right care setting and gently done , maybe arrange a few days for when mum gets out you never know she might like it!
Do lots of research and involve your mum and sister , mum will feel more in control and most likely will be more receptive too .

[MrsRuffdiamond]

Have you considered a live-in carer? As with nursing homes, you would have to do lots of research to get the right person, but the cost would be comparable to a nursing home, if your mum is self funding, and provide the benefit to your mum of her being able to remain in her own home and have one-to-one care.

[Allfurcoatandnoknickers]

Mum has been having physio rehab at the home, which is supposedly her reason for being there. On questioning yesterday, it seems she didn't have any physio yesterday, no idea why, or over the weekend (the physio team are only there weekdays) - I am worried that because she is sat for too long she isn't going to improve.
When i speak to the physio team they say mum is making reasonable, slow, progress but her anxiety over falling is a problem.
My sister is still wanting to take her out of the home and send her home, but without any physio support I feel that would be rash at this stage.
Has anyone had experience of physio rehab in a nursing home environment? Just wondered what their experiences of this were, or if we have unrealistic expectations....