I've posted a few times about MIL.
She currently lives in sheltered accomodation. She has lived there 2 years. When she first moved there, the warden was on 12 hours during the day, now, due to funding cuts they are there 2 hours a day during the week if she is lucky.
She is prone to falling and lately is struggling to get up from sitting and takes her 10 minutes to go the 12 yards from her living room to her toilet. She uses a wheeled walker when she is walking.
She is falling 5 times a day now, and refuses to push the pendant for community care, instead choosing to either bang on the wall for her (wheelchair using) neighbour to help her or dragging herself into the living room and phoning us to come pick her up I am unable to pick her up due to a bad back. This has been ongoing for roughly a year now.
The latest fall, last Wednesday has resulted in her pulling the muscles across her chest so making if quite hard for her to pull herself up from sitting. Since then she has been backwards and forwards to A&E, she is currently there now as she couldn't get up this morning, she actually called community care though as was 4am. They called us at 5am to let us know, and A&E called at 6:45 to let us know she was there.
Since she had the fall DH and I are having to go to hers every time she needs the toilet, so 5-6 times a day, as she can't take her trousers/knickers up or down. We are going at 9am to get her out of bed and dressed, doing her breakfast and then making her lunch to leave in the fridge for her to get. We are then taking her tea down for 5pm then DH goes down to close her curtains at 8pm. We're getting her dressed for bed as well. We can't do this from tomorrow as DC are back to school and DH back at work.i have 2 weeks off, but then back to work myself. And quite selfishly, I don't want to do it day in day out. I have three DC, one with SN who is demanding as it is.
We have tried the nicely nicely approach, tried the leaving her to it approach and tried the telling her how it is approach. Nothing is working.
The paramedic agreed last week that she shouldn't be living where she is. She def needs somewhere where there are people to help 24 hours a day.
What can we do to get her to understand this, can we go over her head?
In December last year she had an operation that resulted in her getting a homecare plan put into place. She has someone come in twice a week to shower her. When I was at hers yesterday I read the care plan. She has lied in it, quite a bit, giving the impression she is capable of doing more than she can. Should I call these people and speak to them, ask them to reassess her? See if they can come in more to help her?
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Elderly parents
MIL needs to move somewhere with 24 hr care, she is refusing. Long sorry.
9 replies
ChocolateCoveredMisery · 21/04/2014 14:32
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