I just want somebody to bloody help!!!

[hollylollypop1]

This is going to be long (I apologise) and isn't actually about an elderly parent but an elderly grandparent.

My Nan was diagnosed with an advanced form of motor neuron disease at the beginning of December, it is terminal and the Dr gave her a few months to live. Nan has completely lost the ability to speak and is just about managing a puréed food diet (along I suspect not for much longer). This weekend she has lost the ability to mobilise and can't get herself in/out of a chair nor can she walk. I had the district nurse out who offered to catheterise Nan but she refused. The Dr has also been out and has prescribe some antibiotics for a chest infection. Nan has an open referral to hospice but it appears the referral form is locked in someone's office and they can't get hold of it tonight. Just feeling so angry and sad about it all. Arrrrggghhhhhh! To top it off, my mum has MS and is particularly bad today due to the stress of it all.

[whataboutbob]

Hi holly that sounds really difficult for you. Your nan should have referral to a palliative care team, who can visit at home for symptom control and emotional support. Does she live at home on her own? Does she have carers coming in?

[hollylollypop1]

Hi Bob. She lives in an annexe on the side of our house and has private carers 4 times a day at the moment.

Her condition seems to be deteriorating so quickly that we can't keep on top of it.

Although after much begging and pleading tonight she is now in a hospice which gives me a few days to sort out some additional equipment so she can die comfortably at home which is a massive relief. I was panicking so much about how I was going to cope earlier today.

[whataboutbob]

Holly that sounds like the best possible arrangement for her, although hard work for you and. Your mum. Palliative care should definitely be picking up her changing symptom control needs at this point, whether at home or in the hospice and I would have thought, should be your first point of contact. Glad she is in a hospice, because if she stabilises a little and can come home, they will have to make sure it is a safe discharge with back up at home.