ASpergers...mainstream school- no statement....Homewor"k ....Teacher says "he is not listening

[TheRealMrsF]

Again...moaned to teacher via homework book that Leigh (AS age 8) has too much homework..............and cannot remember what is set. Tom age 11 has his set via a typed up worksheet every monday.....leigh has to remember his.

last night for example he was asked to catch upon missed homework from the past week...as well as do his usual homwork.....and the best bit is .....she insists on vebally setting homework.
I have expalined myself how he is a 'visual learner' and needs 'vesual prompts' etc....and 3 months ago (after I requested they do it) they asked the Outreach team to come into school to observe and offer advice/insight.

And as yet....no they have not come to school.

So..... back to last night,.....
1)write out 8 spellings
2)select 2 of them and write a sentance.
(that's the 'every night' homework
now his 'arrears'
3)Draw an Electric Circuit (from tuesday)
4)Write a Report on Animals with illustrations (from Friday last week)

Now.....he gets home at 3.30 and has melatonin at 7 so can be in bed by 7.45 ....he will then wake up naturally at 7 the next day.

so....4 hours to relax,have tea and do homework.

Now the schools attitude is that he ought to do homework as soon as he gets in from school....that sucks as thats usually when there is pandamonium as i 'unravel' his stresses of the day.
That said...I always ask him if he has homework- and what it is...that usually starts another shouting fit as he simply cannot remember.

so i have to 'trigger' his memory by talking about what he did today...as that is usually what the homework is based on...and sometimes we 'get there' and i then leave him to unwind before getting him to do it after tea.

Usually however..... he cannot remember.

He will ofetn 'suddenly' remember at 7 or 7.30....(as i believe he has fully relaxed)...and then insists he does it...no ammount of persuasion will make him 'leave it till tomorrow'....so for that reason i really don't think he 'deliberately forgets '...as an avoidance tactic.

So.......... io wrote a note...and the teacher replied (amongst other nuggets of similar drivvel....)

".....homework was set on friday......and i was quite clear about this -but Leigh may not have been listening ....then i remind the children as they line up to go home ...2

Now can U advise me of how i can tactfully 'educate' her that AS kids may appear to be listening....but may infact be 'thinking their own thoughts' and that she MUST use his name to specifically link him to what she is saying....as even at home if i call the boys to the table...i have to call each one separately...as enmass you can bet 1 won't respond.

Also...i suggested theyu get him to write a 'Trigger' word to remind him at home what he has to do...and they have thankfully agreed this is a good idea..... but can i build on it????

The school has no AS experience prior to my boys joining...so i respect they may not be alert to what strategies they need to use.....

I want to take some brief (not like my posts!!!) info in ...along the lines of..."this is to help you whilst you are waiting for the Outreach Team to visit'....and follow with "this works for me at home...so wondered if you can try it"

So have any of you got any favourite 'strategies' websites????

[binkie]

Since the teacher sounds like she would allow Leigh to note down the homework, can you get him a special notebook which relates to his interests, so that he feels it's part of his territory and so wants to write in it (& also then feels positive about the homework)?

The notebook could also have a statement (printed to look formal) at the beginning about how catch-up homework can be done at the weekend, so that he feels there's a safe rule to follow & you don't get the weekday evening anxiety.

[pixiefish]

sheet of what he can and can't do- i know it would be long but could you try and condense it to one a4 sheet- very brief. the teacher will read it cos it's not massively long. hopefully some of iut will sink in with her. this is unfair on you and your son and the fact that you say this is their first as- sorry ain't good enough. their responsibility to learn.
when i had a child with as in my class i did loads of reading, chat to mum, helper etc.
because we had loads of support from senco and his mum school was a very positive place for him and he did really well at gcse

[TheRealMrsF]

not once since september has his teacher ever spoken to me outside of the 10 minute parents evening slot we had.....

today's other prob was (playground again10 where he was sat on a bench and 2 girls wanted him off....now he is so rulebound that as far as he is concerned he will not move....even when they started kicking him and they both sat on him...... now all this goes on amid 200 kids...and probably looks like he's having fun (as why else would he stay there....???)...But to him he was saty there- so he will stay there.

I just feel this is another example of where i want to put the 'Autism Blinkers' on the teacher so that she can just see my son for who he is.

So the next time he remains seated when she asks the class to get up- that she simply use his name to 'link' this request to him.

I am also going to make a velcro scheduler for him so that she can see how much better he is if 'taugght visually'


But FFS.... why do i have to justify/persuade....if he couldn't walk it would be accepted he needed a wheelchair etc....but 'just' because he is so bright it is assumed that he is 'Mature'