Mumsnet Talk

There must be people out there who have been in this space recently. What have you done when faced with the fact that you couldn't afford the fees any more? Did you remortgage (was it tough post-Northern Rock)? Did you take DS/DD out of school? Were you able to get places at good local schools? Did you sell your body? (just joking!!) Serious matter in the current context. Looking for ideas and want to hear your outcomes.

Hmmm... Lots of questions. Are you looking for ideas for yourself or for your piece?

I pasted my sons' headmaster's face on an S&M orgy participant's body (good old Photoshop) and threatened to send it to his wife and the head of the Governors. A 75% scholarship for DS1 and a completely free sibling place for DS2 followed by return of post.

ROFL @ Swedes

I've heard that lots of the Mums are going on the game. Or taking up shoplifting and flogging their 'swag' on ebay. Some people will almost certainly reduce their consumption or rare white truffles whilst wearing vintage Cath Kidston tea dresses. All this is deffo true and would make a most excellent story.......

lol swedes
only 75% scholarship
<note to self: must use donkey body for 100% one>

AuraofDora at donkey body

Sell your children. Problem sorted

All of the above. Enough for your article now?

Oh yes.

I turned my children into Child Models.

I sold the Saab and now ride a bicycle.

I learned how to Ebay and sold everything non-essential (no bids for MIL though, sadly)

Oh bollocks, can't be bothered to invent any more tips. Go onto the Good Housekeeping section and pick all the tips out from there.

There have been lots of articles on this subject by the way. You are not being original.

my father didn't bother sending us to private school unless he knew he could always afford it.

at least he got his money's worth out of my sister and, much to his chagrin, i went socialist on him in high school and tested into an excellent state school.

he likened it to playing golf in certain courses: if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

perhaps you should sell your children on the idea of socialism as a political paradigm by which to live their lives and they'll beg to attend your nearest comprehensive.

well you could always write a feeble and irritating half-baked article about how awful it is that you have to send your children to state schools with the scum classes, which are just fine for 95% of the population but not really appropriate for their needs. and then try and flog it to the highest bidder?
just a thought

Or you could write an article admiring your own bravery for sending your children to state school?

It's been done before of course. Usually only by celeb writers.

Tell us OP, are you a celeb writer? We can help you with your angle here. Because I really don't think the "trapping and eating cockroaches to fund the school fees" schtick is a good angle.

on second thought, if you are in fact a yummy mummy, your body should fetch a far better price than junkie kerb krawlers.

perhaps watch a few back episodes of 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' for Billie Piper's top tips on how to get on the prostitute's road to riches.

if you do write said article, you can be sure of an admiring thread here on mumsnet. how we admire journalists banging on about how grim it is they have had to sack the second nanny, can't afford that skiing trip and can't eat out in restaurants as much as they used to.
oh yes.

And remember, anyone on MN who disagrees with you the teensiest bit for having sent your kids to private school in the first place will of course just be totally jealous and resentful and secretly wishing they were you!!!

And if they dare to admit that they could actually afford school fees but choose not to pay them because their kids do well in state schools then they're the spawn of the devil!!

I posted on this first then didn't check it agin until now. Glad to see my radar was spot on and there wasn't lots of huffing and puffing about how cynical I was!

is this a wind up then?

i must be v gullible then cos i have been pondering about posting and was hoping for some advice myself tbh.

we are in this situation (only one dc goes to private as his autism makes mainstream state v difficult for him). i am actually struggling, but there is no other option other than to send him. have been applying to trusts but noone wants to help us

I think it was more a case of lots of questions, no specifics and first post that made people suspicious. Not like your post.

I expect lots of people are in the same boat.
I guess there are no suitable state schools near you? I ask becuae we have a fantastic autism unit near us.

ah ok. thanks ruby.

the state schools are rubbish near us esp the secondary (when he comes to it). he isnt autistic 'enough' iykwim to go to a special unit- he has AS- veru very academically able but useless socially bless him. his school before refused to believe there was a problem or even to accept the diagnosis from the consultant paediatrician

oh poor fwugal mummy. she's just trying to earn a crust.

those floating american walnut shelves don't come free you know.

and have you seen the price of poilane sourdough these days???

that middle ground is hard isn't it - needy enought to need help, but not needy enough to get it.

Do you think the schools might have changed at all since you last looked? Maybe one a bit further away, so you expand your choices?

atm we are using state primary with a coach once a week for dd (with itsy bitsy bit of dyslexia). Would current school help you get him statemented?

Or would you rather try to beg borrow to keep him there?

Bel, have you tried posting in the special needs section? Some of the mums there may be aware of organisations which could help.
Have you tried getting advice about your LEA at least contributing to the fees? They have a duty to provide suitable education for your son. Though I can't imagine it's easy proving that what they offer isn't good enough. Good luck

i would do almost anything to keep him there tbh.its been so amazing (7 in a class!!!!!)- he can stay there til he is 16 too

oo sounds good.

What have you sacrficed alredy, so we can tell you to give up

boradband
holiday
botox
fine wines
food

Shhhh...don't tell anyone but I've resorted to writing articles for , ahem, women's magazines.

Getting a little worried now that some of these suggestions might actually be serious.... jeez

Oh, findtheriver, you know from the other thread that I'm an indie mum and that if I thought for one minute this was genuine I'd be straight in with the empathy/sympathy/suggestions as I'm sure would many mums who use the state sector.

Nobody in such a situation posts like Tigger on a high. Bel's post on the other hand...

I can't believe people talk about Mumsnet being such a useful resource and support network. The snarky remarks of most (though not all) of you make me wonder where this reputation was made. Most of you have taken the piss out of my post. It was very real with very real youngsters affected. Thanks a lot for nothing, ladies. Shame on you. I won't be checking further posts, so if anyone wants to post, let it be for the benefit of the jokesters here. And I hope none of you have a serious issue you need help with in the future. I might just log on for the occasion.

Again, shame on you.

Nope, still don't believe you.
'It was very real with very real youngsters affected.' Women just don't refer to their own kids like that.

'I can't believe people talk about Mumsnet being such a useful resource and support network.'

There's no substitute for real research, is there?

Youngsters.

PMSL.

Not my kids. But kids I love dearly.

F*&k you all.

You deserve each other.

Oh, I see, not your kids.



You're allowed to use 'fuck' here.

I like frugal's use of the word 'snarky' though. Very descriptive. Shall we make it an official MN word??

Hope your boy gets a shifty on soon, Expat!

if you can't afford the school fees, then use a state school. real youngsters go there too.
if people need help, then mumsnet is the place for them.

Ladies,
I am a MN Noob but I would like to let you all know that I am now going to bed after snorting with laughter till I choked. Everyone is asleep and I am trying to stem the tears of mirth without waking the youngsters up.
My shoulders are shaking, this is the funniest, nay, snarkiest thread I've ever read.
May I also say that I am very glad to see that you allow the word 'feck'. Shame on you all :0)

Welcome Kaytee!

You'll find that MN is littered with the most hilarious threads. Sometimes it's a wind-up like this one, but honestly, you do sometimes get some serious ones along the lines of

'OMG, help, times are hard and we may not be able to afford to pay the school fees for little Quentin and Lucinda. We're terrified they might have to set foot in a real life state school - and we'd so hoped to protect them from mixing with that terribly scary other 93% of the population'.

I don't think Xenia has posted on this thread either, so if you're a noob you have that treat in store too!! She's great fun!!

oh for god's sake frugalMummy, forget all those other posters and their silly money saving tips and just have sex with the headmaster.

I've worked out that if you have the average 2 children then that's £30k school fees per year. Assuming a working girls pay is £50 quid a time, that would mean 15 shags a week term-time only, or 12 shags a week throughout the year.

lmao @ nametaken

ha ha yes bonk the heads brains out, your childs education depends on it ... is it for a weekend supplement ..?

PMSL I love MN