DS1 says school is boring and does not want to go

[albosmum]

To all mumsnetters please help with the following problem
My ds1 who has always enjoyed school and does well started saying last term he did not want to go ant more - it was boring and they did the same stuff over and over again, every morning we have a long protracted converstaion on why he has to go to school and so far I have not had to drag him down the street.

His assesment scores have dropped from 4c at the end of year 3 to 3b in the first term of year 4.

I have been to see his teacher on 3 occasions
firstly we thought it may be he felt he had no competition and asked her to mark his work harder she has done this but it has made little difference.

But the last two times she says this is the nature of the national currculum - it is repetitive but DS will just have to cope with it + he does not always get all his work right. I said he used to and he is bored and cannot be bothered any more. Plus I said in yr 1 and 2 he was in extenision groups for maths for those who were gifted and talented - could he not get this in year 4. THe teacher said staff time was a problem.

What could I or my sons teacher do to help him?
Am I expecting too much?
Is their anything I can specifically ask for?

I am really worried that ds has stagnated and I will eventually be unable to persuade him to attend school at all.

• I know it is not bullying that was my first thought but I have ruled it out.
  
  Hope this makes sense

[Caligula]

Have you asked to see the SENCO? They are supposed to give extra time to more gifted children as well as those who need extra help - why don't you ask his form teacher, in the nicest possible way, if there is anything you can do if staff time is a problem? Would a letter to the LEA from you, as a parent concerned about the lack of time, help with getting them more resources to meet the needs of their pupils, for example? A suggestion like that might make them more inclined to bother to provide extra time for your DS.

[morningpaper]

This is so awful for you and for him. I've no suggestions at all but I do sympathise. I always found school unbearably dull and by the end of it I was getting crap marks all the time because I was bored. I've still got NO idea what my parents should have done to help me, so I'll read any responses with interest!

[jordylass]

Reading posts like this make me despair of state education and the NC, I can't possibly see how all children are supposed to fit into this one mould. When they are adults they will choose different areas of work that suit there interests, but at school they all have to do the same thing, it's no wonder they are bored.
I'm sorry I can't suggest anything to help with the school, I gave up and HE'd and now they go to an alternative school.

[Caligula]

Where d'you find alternative schools Jordylass? And do they all charge?

[jordylass]

AFAIK there are only 2 or 3 in the country and they do charge, but hopefully, as more people are dissatisfied witht he present system more choice will be made available.

[albosmum]

thanks for responses am going to bump this hopefully to get more

[albosmum]

bump

[roisin]

Albosmum - has he been assessed as 'gifted and talented'. Your school should have a policy for GT children, and they should have a G&T coordinator.

G&T is a buzz word and a growth area in education at the moment. But having said that if your school are not proactive, and not supporting him, then you have very few rights.

You can talk to your school about curriculum contraction: If they are willing to assess him on the curriculum for the term (and make sure he knows its in his interests to perform at his best), then they could agree to 'release him' from certain lessons (where he's already proved his abilities) and give him time to work on individual enrichment/extension projects.

nrich is a great site for enrichment/extension activities in Maths for example.

I can recommend plenty of books for you to read on this area, but it isn't necessarily going to help you to convince his school/teacher that they need to do more for him.

[Tanzie]

Mmm, difficult one. My DD1 is in Year One and says every day she is bored with school and doesn't want to go. She is supposed to be assessed by the Gifted and Talented Co-ordinator (what a name!) but this hasn't happened yet. Was told at the end of Reception that she had completed the Year One syllabus already, and have been told that she will have completed Year Two by the time she reaches the end of Year One. Teacher likes group reading and I think she has held DD back so that she has someone to "group read" with (She is on ORT Stage 12 I think, at school, but is reading Harry Potter at home). I asked what she might do in Year Two and was told it was up to the Year Two teacher! She is a September birthday, so one of the oldest in her class. They didn't move her straight to Year Two after Reception, as it is not their policy to do so, but she is bored. Her French teacher told me she sits on the floor and says "boring! boring!" during her lessons. Apart from telling her this is very bad manners, don't know what else to do. Am a bit stuck school wise as it needs to be within walking distance. And am dreading return to London in 2 years.

Sorry, no helpful advice (and have hijacked your thread a bit but really just wanted to say that you are not alone!). Am not convinced that (some!) private schools are that much better than state. I'd love to home ed but am not particularly bright myself and know I'd never cope with the maths!

[roisin]

Tanzie - it must be especially hard with a September born child. Both my two are summer birthdays, which does ease the difficulties somewhat especially in the early days.

Personally I find the approach of our (state) school - genuine resource devotion to providing appropriate individual enrichment and extension work - is more beneficial than acceleration (moving children up a year or more).

Having said that I do think for ds1 yr1 was the most difficult to cope with. I think yr2 would have been hard too, except for the fact that he had an exceptional teacher, who gave up hours of her personal time to do one-to-one work with him in break times, assembly times, etc., so that he could work on individual projects. But in yr3 it seems he can usually do the same work as the rest of the class, but at a 'deeper' level iyswim.

[albosmum]

ds1 was assessed as being g&t in year1 but moved up to a new [part of school for yr 3 where it hasnever been mentioned except by me once. Like Tanzies dd, ds1 is avid reader way beyond anything they expect him to read, he isin all top sets stil despite general refusal to do much work

We had refusing to do homework yesterday and when I went through the sheet he knew all bar about one word any way - so I do understand his frustration - as they are asking him to spend one hour of his weekend doing work he knows and he would much rather be reading a good book.

My position is difficult as I don't want to be negative about the school in front of ds - but I do sort of agree with him. If he has to produce aniother list of homophones I tink he will go bonkers!! plus any more simple maths will finish him off.

But on monday am I will go see senco re G&T - I feel inspired into action by all your responses


Plus tanzie what should or could I do to help him

[albosmum]

just bumping

[albosmum]

bump

[Yurtgirl]

Message withdrawn

[albosmum]

To everyone I am feeling very empowered from your responses - hope tanzie feels same will go to school tomorrow and ask and will report back on my success or lack of it.
I would like to home educate but I don't think I have the knowledge

[Yurtgirl]

Message withdrawn

[happymerryberries]

If it helpf Yurt girl, I am a teacher and I wouldn't feel confident either!

I can teach science, but heaven help the child I taught to spell in english or in French!

[roisin]

I hope this doesn't turn into a home ed debate, but ...

Before my kids went to school I thought I could home ed if nec ... by that I meant I could teach them to read, write, do maths, etc.

BUT my views on what (usefully) goes on in schools have changed completely since they started. My ds1 (who incidentally is very bright) benefits immensely from input such as assemblies, displays on the wall, resources in library and IT suite, visiting poets and theatre companies, etc., as well as all sorts of group work in class - learning to listen to and learn from and work with other children, philosophy, team games, etc. The basic skills are a tiny part of what he learns at school, and most of the rest you/I simply could not begin to replicate at home.

[happymerryberries]

Agree 100%

[Yurtgirl]

Message withdrawn

[albosmum]

couldn't agree more re home ed - have cert ed for teaching adults plus am a librarian - v good at finding stuff but don't think i could home ed

[Caligula]

I think there's certainly a danger that a home-educated child could miss out on all that, but I wouldn't assume it. From what I've seen (a friend of a friend does it) home-edding is a misnomer - most of her stuff seems to be done outside the home, she meets up with a bunch of people who are also home edders and that's where they get the teamwork, co-operation, socialisation skills etc. as well as the academic bits. From what I can see, she only spends one day a week at home and the rest of the time she and her DDs are gallivanting off somewhere on some HE meet up.

Also, home-edders get reduced entry into theatres, exhibitions, sports facilities etc. just as schools do. They also use libraries and their IT facilities, but I guess it must be nigh on impossible to do it without a computer in the house - the growth of the HE movement can't be unconnected with the growth of the internet and there are masses of HE sites.

I'm lucky, I don't need to home ed atm because my DS seems reasonably happy at school and it seems a reasonable school, but if anyone is genuinely interested, there's a very good website called education otherwise - I'm no good at links but it's the first one that comes up on google.

My primary concern about home-edding would be that your child would be getting a very very different life experience to their peers, and the effects of that last forever. Not that that?s automatically a bad thing ? quite often it?s extremely positive ? but I know that a friend of mine who was brought up in an ex-pat environment very often feels excluded from conversations because she doesn?t understand ordinary cultural references that people make. I imagine home-educated children would often feel like outsiders as well. (I?m sure one will come on and contradict me now! )

[albosmum]

no this is not a home ed thread - its about getting some extra help at school for my ds1

[Caligula]

Albosmum, I didn't start the comments about home-edding, four comments were made including your own which were quite negative, and I didn't think it was outrageous to balance it a bit. Sorry if it pissed you off though, it wasn't intentional.

[roisin]

Albosmum - was your ds fine about school up until September? Do you think it is a personality thing about this teacher and her style of teaching?

I think the best way forward is talking to her, and trying to be on the same side - i.e. concerned that your ds was making good progress, was happy about school, and now is not. And asking what can you do together to improve the situation.

But you may believe though that after 3 visits already, that you are just not going to get through to this person. If school refuse to accept that they are not doing sufficient for him (even though from your posts it is clear they are not), then you might have to just try and ride-out the year with this teacher, make the best of it, and hope for a more sympathetic, dynamic teacher next year. And try and investigate other ways to encourage him.

What is the school's homework policy? I would suggest to the teacher that when homework is tediously boring, and well below his competence, that you give him something else to do instead to hand in, if they are not able to provide something suitable. e.g. he could do a book review. So far we haven't encountered this problem ... ds1 does not find his homework challenging, but it generally takes only 10 minutes to rattle it off, so it isn't an issue.

I don't know where you are geographically, but there are extra-curricular activities, suitable for providing enrichment for very able children. Pursuing something like this might help your ds not be "turned off" learning altogether.

If he's an avid reader, a reading group at the local library might be fun for him too.

I hope something in there is helpful to you.