i am going o school to get shouted at we really are the worlds most disorganised parents with the best of intentions

[Tortington]

loads of poitnts to raise its a bit of a confessional

i phoned school to ask for appt with head of year today - which i got and dh is coming too ( i refuse to get souted at about how thicka nd unorganised my kids are alone)

basically those of you who have read edumication threads i have posted before will be aware of the drama teacher from the boil n the pimple on the arse of hell. my girl (11) lost her book but was too frightened literally to tell drama teacher - she was to frightened to tell me - and the book only costs 25p to replace. so over a period of 3 weeks she had had umpteen detentions writing out some rubbish paragraph which i have posted before, she has red writing all over her homework diary and it has got as far as the head of year who is taking the time out to help her write up all the old stuf into the new book as from today.

thats the situation, my concern is the fear associated with it she is in floods of tears, she wrote me a note saying this and pinned it above my bed

dad & mum
i found out that the dog ate my hearing aid mouldes again and i want to tell you i dont like school i want to home school becuase you will give me harder stuff to do and i am not going in tomorrow we will talk about it in the morning.

this was all becuase of drama - i really think she fed the dog her hearing aid moulds so she didnt have to go into school ( she went anyway)
she had to not only write out this paragraph of dribble fromt he teacher that when written is 3/4 of a page not only has to do the detention but had to write a letter of apology.

now the other stuff

my boys are lovely love them to bits but academically thick.

my 15yr old has set a president at this school we moved to from the north of england to a very nice catholic school int e south,

int he north ds1 was bullied by girls - he went into this school half way through 1st year and in the first week was in a fight with a lad who tried to steal his bike. however this did his confdence the world of good and he is that lazy wide boy with the tie not fastened properly who enjoys a banter with the teacher - not rudeness i wont tolerate rudeness, he used to forget books - at the is moment in time he has lost two school jumpers so goes to school without one. he had a major run in with drama teacher when he first started so much so i wrote in a letter of complaint and asked for the discipline policy of the school as i didnt understand 3 punishments at once.

now the twins have started secondary school and my girl is as right as can be but my second lad is much academically like his older brother but much more withdrawn. he is in a special needs class and rightly so. he cant read his own writing ( left handed is that an excuse?) so he comes home with homework in his diary he cant read and doesnt remember.

now my girl is in special needs - and i dont understand why - she is intelligent and bright and hates sitting in a class with kids who have to learn how to spell "ride" she is bored shitless and missing mainstream english who are learning library skills - which are very very important IMO.

when they come home from school they get changed hang their uniform up and put their shoes in one place so there is no trying to find bits of it in themorning. i ask if they have homework and tey do it - i sit with them and do it - we went out and bought a printer last week for ds1 who needed it for the homework he had to do next day.

still they forget their pe kits when they leave despite getting it readyt he night before or they forget their sandwiches ( this happened this morning luckily i spotted it as i dont have to set off for work for another half an hour)

which all goes to form a flea bag view of the custardo household at school and am ded pissed off about it.

any road up am going in today at 3.15 tog et shouted at and not looking forward to it

[Poo2]

Well done you for sticking up for your kids and going to see teh school about itall. Drama teacher sounds like nightmare, and yu sound like top mum! Give 'em hell...

[tiptop]

custardo - I haven't much advice except to show the school that you really do try (ie get stuff ready in a bag the night before, sit with them when they do homework etc) but that your children still manage to forget things sometimes. Also, when you're discussing it with the teacher/head teacher, I'd wait ten seconds before answering and when you do answer, I'd take all the emotion out of it and answer boringly factually, iyswim. I agree completely that the school should help to make things right again ie by giving a new book at the outset, rather than give out punishments for losing the book and dragging things out further. I don't know if any of that makes sense! Good luck.

[spacemonkey]

Have you thought about home ed at all custy?

[SoupDragon]

I'd certainly do some shouting of my own WRT your DD being in an inappropriate SN class. Is this just because of her hearing problems?

[SoupDragon]

As far as the disorganisation goes - write a check list of things they have to remember and pin it to the inside of the front door so they see it as they leave.

[soapbox]

Good luck Custardo. I think you need to prioritise your points - so that you don't get distracted and miss out the important bits.

From what you've written top of my list would be the bloody drama teacher - she sounds awful, surely kids shouldn't feel that terrified of their teachers - sounds like a throwback to the early 20thC. Is she the only drama teacher - no chance of being able to move them into another class. If not tell them that you are withdrawing all of your children from Drama lessons as it is emotionally disturbing them - ask them to sort out an alternative topic for them to study when they should be in drama or they can sit and do homework or something.

Next is your girl twin - get her out of that class - again tell them that they are under an obligation to provide an adeuqate education for her - and at the moment they are failing to do that by a very wide margin!

Let us know how it goes!

[aloha]

Sounds awful, Custardo. Don't let them shout at you! You aren't at their poxy school. I think the list is a good idea, but also the school need to be less into punishment IMO and more into trying to help. Your dd's situation seems really bad - I would be angry in your place. Good luck.

[pixiefish]

Disorganisation is a part of some learning difficulties like dyslexia.
Haven't the teachers worked out by now that your ds2 can't read his own writing? Surely if he's in a SEN class then there are classroom assistants who can help him to do this.
Sounds to me like the school are letting your kids down custy- there is more that the school can do to help. How awful for your little dd to be so scared of a teacher. it makes me very sad.

[aloha]

I have to admit I did wonder about dyslexia or dyspraxia - disorganised and illegible handwriting rang that bell with me. Or they could just be disorganised, like me.

[spacemonkey]

I really hope you don't get shouted at btw. That would be totally unacceptable. The school are letting your children down. If anyone has a right to shout, it's you. Although shouting isn't usually very helpful on either side

Good luck with the meeting.

[nasa]

sorry custy nothing useful to add as no real experienc of dealing with schools yet BUT drama teacher sounds liek a git and don't let the school bully you when you go in today. Stand up for yourself lady, it sound to me like the school have a lot of questions to answer.

[aloha]

Sounds awful, Custardo. Don't let them shout at you! You aren't at their poxy school. I think the list is a good idea, but also the school need to be less into punishment IMO and more into trying to help. Your dd's situation seems really bad - I would be angry in your place. Good luck.

[nasa]

what's happened there aloha - odd repeated post. (the fact it's repeated is strange not the post!)

[iota]

Best wishes Custy - I get so protective of my little darling who is in Yr 1 - don't rip anyone's head off

[Hulababy]

custardo - this sounds like a terrible situation for you and your kids. I agree that you need to prioritise everything and I would also take it all written down and refer to it throughout. I have a lesson in a sec, but am free later. I hope to get chance to sit down and have a think about some points - think about how our school (and others I know) of deal with things. The school needs to be applying certain stratgeies to work through and they seem to be failing to do so. I'll be back

[Hulababy]

I really think that rather than letting them shout at you, you need to be the one leading the interview.

Write a list of everything you want to dicuss and what answers you want. Also include suggestions which you think may work. And inlcude strategiies you will use at home.

• Drama Teacher - tricky one here I know. You need to find out what is happening in this class and this teacher. Ask for another copy of discipline policy and discuss it with the teacher in the interview. Are they following it? Is this Drama teacher follwoing it? In what ways? Discuss the fact that their are 3 types of punishments at once - this doesn't seem on.
  Ask them what they are going to do about this - and get a definite answer. Record it (and date it, with teachers name in interview) so you can refer to it in the future if things don't improve. Tell them what you want to happen and the ultimatum - you will withdraw them from the subject if things don't improve by, say, Christmas.
  
  
• Your DD in SEN class: You need to get clear answers about why she is in their if she should n't be? Why do they think she belongs in this class? Where is their evidence to support this? What are they going to do to change things and provide her with the level of education and challenge she is entitled to. Ask to see their SEN policy.
  
  Your DS in SN class: if is writing is so bad they must know this. Why are they not recording homework for him. I do this is ordinary lessons, let alone SN lessons. If they can't do that why can't it be typed up ready to hand out at the end? They need to address this - it is their responsibility. Point out that if you can read homework it will be done (make sure it is!) but if you can't read it then you will not* support any further punishment for incomplete homework. This seems fair to be.
  
  Strategies for home?
  
  
• Have a copy of their homework timetables at home. Check it with planners each night. If none is there or they say none set - comment in the planner and sign it.
  
  
• Near door have a checklist for each pupil - daily timetable one. Have copy of their school timetable showing lessons they have, and what things they need to take. Have extra gaps to add anything if necessary. Could also include homework details to know what they need for each lesson that day.
  
  
  Good luck, hope it goes well. Don't let them shout at you. You are an adult, not a child, They should treat you as an equal with the same goals as themselves - to do the best for your children.

[Hulababy]

How did it go?

[SantaFio2]

poor you! but it sounds very much like our house but my kids are younger.

very unfair on your girl though, she sounds so frightened of that nasty drama techer. had to laugh that she fed her ear moulds to the dog i can imagine my two doing things like that.

reallyhope you got something sorted today

[Tortington]

i feel like a complete twotis nt it just awful when you gear yourself up for a row and the other person is really really nice - what a let down

so daughter is in sn class becuase it doesnt matter that she can read as well as anyone i know or that she can spell fairly well - she is in the class becuase her comprehension skills have failed a test they gave her so she is reading a tet but not necessarily understanding it and where a text misses out words she cannot make a coherent sentence with a list of words given - that kind of thing but the teacher said that what we have to understand is that she is teaching a class with varying abilities she has had to start literally with the alphabet and that she knows emma isnt pleased and she is bored off her head but its just like revision until the other children catch her up and until they get to the comprehension part. we had a long discussion and she is going to have a word with the head of special needs to see if they can take her out of class becuase she is so unhappy. i suggested i would do work at home o comprehension please teachers and home ed'sgive me a good site to print off comprehension exercises ty andon that basis the head of year agreed to take her out of a class alone to do some cath up work how fkin good is that!!!

re Drama we told head of year that she is frightened and got her self into a pickle and ez and drama teacher are in for a long conversation to make friends. Head of year said that teacher would be mortified to hear that a child is scared of her and i also told ez that Drama teacher really likes her - i dont know this but she then said " actually i like it when i dont get in a mess" so hopefully that situation is sorted.

also she is not wearing her hearing aids - that is something i will have to talk to her about - i thought she was perfectly happy.

guys - cant tell you how much your thinking about my situation helps thank you all so much

[Hulababy]

Glad it went well. But keep chasing things if improvements don't happen quick enought.

I am sure they'll be loads of comprehension sites aroun - maybe some of the primary teachers will know that (maybe start a new thread?). I know you can buy revision and cpmprehnsion books for places like WH Smith.

[aloha]

Since I got broadband my posts seem to be repeating themselves....very irritating. I promise I'm not just repeat posting like a loon.

[SantaFio2]

hlad it went well!

[aloha]

Glad it went well, btw.

[hmb]

One think that I have seen is to attach things like homework diaries to book baks usinf stretchy coil (IYKWIM).

A planner in the kitchen would be a help.

Can the leave their PE kit somewhere in school, ie in a cloak room or would it get nicked?

Ask for the teachers to write his homework in his diary, or TA if there is one in the classroom.