Changing Schools - what shall I tell the kids?

[frootsfriend]

Dd(9) and Ds(7) are quite happily settled at state school but for various social and educational reasons dh and I have decided to move them to a local private school if they pass the entrance exam ( a 6 hour assessment!!!!!)

I don't know what to tell them about the assessment because if they don't get in - then what do we say?? Plus what will they say to their friends at their current school about sitting an exam for a new school when we don't actually know whether they will be staying or going??

We are sure the new school is excellent but they won't give a toss about that - they will not want to leave all their friends at their current school and are likely to go berserk ( or at least ask endless tearful questions!!)

Has anyone got experience of changing schools for reasons other than moving house?

[frootsfriend]

Pleased to hear all went well, but what did you actually tell the kids at the time?? Did you give them a reason or did you just say 'we have decided.......'

[froot]

message withdrawn

[marialuisa]

I have no idea what the best way to approach this is. How long will you have to wait before you know whether or not they've got in? Also have you considered what you will do if one gets in and the other doesn't? TBH I'd be wary of telling the kids too far in advance but they will need to know in case the new school says "we're glad you've come along to see if you'd like it here" and that's the first they know.

BTW, my sibs and i moved schools many times and despite histrionics when we were told we all settled ok. I think i'd go for a "thougt we'd go for a visit and see what you think" and if they do get in "I can understand that you don't want to move schools-but you are" approach.

[Amfs]

out of interest have you worked out what you might do if only one of them gets in?

[Philly]

When we moved ds2 I aged 6. I didn't tell him until the morning we went and then I just explained that we were going to visit a different school to try it out,no strings attached.This might work with 7 year old but not 9 year old.

I think you have to be quite wary about the test aspect A friend of ours has just had their 7 year old deliberately fail a day visit.They know he did this because he was quite honest and told them!

I would explain that you thought it might be nice to visit because you have heard that it's very nice,that they might be asked to do some work and that you would be really pleased if they could do it as well as possible,but not to worry about it.

At both my childrens prep schools the assess ments have play periods etc and the children get to meet the current pupils in their year,have lunch and join in some lessons,I don't know if it is the same for you,but having spent time in the school they might surprise you and really like it.I think the key is to play it down as much as possible and not let them know that you have actually made a decsion.When you pick them up after ask casual questions about the day and focus on the things they thought were good about the place so that hopefully end the day feeling positive.

Good luck!

[hosta]

Frootsfriend, just wondered what you had decided to do about this. You could say that the new school just wanted to see how good they were at reading,writing,maths etc. Then if they are offered a place you could say they thought you were so smart that they want you to come to the school. But I guess you have to put it in such a way that they can't say no. I think it helps if you are certain about your reasons for doing it because you will have more confidence in riding out any blips until your children make friends and settle. Good luck with it.