hello mumnsetters
i'm really hoping the combined wisdom of mumsnet can help dh and i resolve something that has been a large source of stress for some months. in fact it is only the fact that we recently moved house and had another baby that has prevented us focusing on this at an earlier stage.
the issue is this. ds (3) has been offered pre school nursery places at the three primary schools for which he is down so far. since we both work ft (or near enough) and the pre school nursery places amount to only 2 1/2 hrs per day, we turned down places at two of the schools without a second thought, since attendance at the nursery for these schools does not impact whether or not the child will be offered a place at the primary school. however, the other school, which is rc and our top choice for ds , has made attendance at the pre-school nursery one of the criteria on which selection for entry to the school is made.
dh and i went to see the head about this, explaining that as we both work, it would be extremely difficult for us logistically to enable ds to attend the nursery . he as good as told us that if ds didn't take up the nursery place, he wouldn't get in to the primary school.
some points that are relevant to us in all this:
- ds currently attends a nursery that we are very happy with and wouldn't move him in the ideal world
- he has had to cope with a number of changes in a short space of time and i am uncomfortable with the thought of another one so soon
- ds still needs a nap in the pm which won't be possible with the pre school nursery hours
- if we take up the place, between sept and next jan (when i go back to work - on mat leave atm) our lives will be pretty miserable - either i will have to transform myself overnight into SAHM of lively 3 yr old who loves nursery or he will have to go to his existing nursery in the morning and then either dh or i will have to pick him up and drop him off at the pre school nursery in the pm. i will have to do the pick ups every day. it will be extremely restrictive and not the maternity leave i had planned.
- i had also planned to spend more time with ds by reducing his nursery days when i felt more on my feet with the new baby - which isn't quite yet!
- we could cope with the place come january by getting a nanny - but i hadn't budgeted on such a large expense next year. and anyway, we need to take up the place in sept, to the best of my knowledge they wouldn't allow him to start in jan.
- i had planned to go back to work 4 days per week in jan, but am now wondering what is the point, as my fridays will be v. restricted anyway - all for the sake of a 2 1/2 hr slot!
- may not be possible for me to work 4 days anyway, as we might need my ft salary to pay the nanny!
in short, we do not want to take this place in september, but if we don't he is likely not to get into the school - which is absolutely the one we want him to go to.
what do mumsnetters think we should do?
thanks in advance