12 Year old, changing schools

(11 Posts)
H1ghw4y61revisited Sun 20-Nov-16 22:18:46

My little brother is living with my brother and his wife, but is coming to live with me next year. He's in his first year at secondary school, and the move will mean a change in schools. He's had a pretty disruptive start to secondary school and has just started to settle. The plan was to move him after the Christmas break, but my brother thinks maybe we should encourage him to stay put until the end of the school year. At this age, would a change mid year be likely to de-rail his progress education wise, and I suppose socially? I don't have much of a clue about secondary school education right now. Anyone had any experience of a similar change?

nocampinghere Mon 21-Nov-16 09:33:47

quite a few new starters and leavers in my dd's year - just started yr8
personally if you are definitely going to move him, move now and just get on with it.

golfbuggy Mon 21-Nov-16 11:33:54

I'd think moving mid way through Y7 (where the DC are still trying to make new friends and find their feet) would be better socially than start of Y8 (where the DC will have made stronger friendships).

SuperRainbows Mon 21-Nov-16 11:36:39

I'd also say move at Christmas. No point staying longer and making friends when he's got to move anyway.

iseenodust Mon 21-Nov-16 11:43:40

I'd move him now as friendships still forming in yr7 as mentioned above. Also there may be some slight curriculum catch up required eg new school may offer different modern languages.

H1ghw4y61revisited Mon 21-Nov-16 18:41:13

Thanks. I hadn't actually thought about the fact moving now would be a better chance to make friends, good point. I'm speaking with a couple of headteachers this week to see if we can find a place for him to start in January.

Herbypotatoe Mon 21-Nov-16 19:36:50

Agreed with the general consensus, better to move now

strongswans Mon 21-Nov-16 19:38:53

I agree with everyone else, better to move now, friendships will still be forming so will be easier than the beginning of year 8 I would think.

TeenAndTween Mon 21-Nov-16 20:20:57

I agree with everyone else.
My DD is in y7 and is still finding her feet and getting to know new people.

Not knowing the circumstances, but if relevant, the people on the Adoption, Fostering and Kinship care boards are all very friendly. They can be found under 'Becoming a Parent'

H1ghw4y61revisited Mon 21-Nov-16 22:37:22

teenandtween thanks for the tip! I've not really been thinking of it as becoming a parent but I suppose that's what it's going to be blush

TeenAndTween Tue 22-Nov-16 07:49:13

My (adopted) 12yo still needs a lot of parenting. it is not like having a nearly-adult 16yo come to stay.
So you will have all the things like
- bedtimes
- rules about electronics
- healthy eating
- tidying up after themselves
- when to do homework
etc.
You will need to understand what the rules have been before, and what you feel need to change. If he has had disruption in schooling / homelife he may be behind academically and need extra support from you. Also disruption can lead to mismatches in independence skills, being overly grown up in some areas, but needy in others. Plus also possibly emotional issues with anger at the disruptions, but being extra needy and needing confirmation of worth.
(Of course depends on reasons why he is moving to live with you, and I'm not asking you to share them here).

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