Is this a reason to choose private school ?

[lighthouse17]

hi Apologies if there has been a previous thread about this but I wanted to discuss/ask this and see what other people think. I have a nearly 3 year old DD and I work fulltime, so I don't get home till 6pm. She goes to nursery at the moment and this nursery also has a lovely private school next to it. We also have a state school near our house which is very good. Because I work full time, I wont be able to pick her up from school and take her to activities etc.. so I feel very guilty about this and this private school has lots of after school clubs she can attend to. The state school after school club finishes at 5.30 so if she goes there I won't be able to pick her up.
Is this a good reason to send her to private school? If i was a stay at home mum there is no question I would send her to the state school but I work full time and feel guilty for not being there too.
What do you think? Has any of you chosen private school because you work full time? and the other option is to use a childminder to pick her up? Any replies welcome

[unintendedcatlady]

I was a single mum for a longtime working FT with a DD in a similar sounding nursery. My plan was for her to stay at the school for exactly the same reasons as you had my circumstances not changed. If it makes life easier & her happier I'd do it definitely.

[merrymouse]

Many people send their children to private schools because the 'wrap-around' care is better. However, I would check that the after school clubs at the private school are activities that she would want to attend, and that they do function as 'wrap-around' care i.e. you can depend on them running every week.

Depending on personality, she might be happier going to a childminder's at least a few times a week just to be able to do nothing and relax after school.

[HooseRice]

My kids go to an independent school that provides excellent wraparound care. I'm not working at the moment but when I was it was marvellous.

If you can afford it, go for it.

Remember when doing your sums fees go up after infants, and by 3% ish every year. Uniform can be expensive and there are extras to pay for such as trips and charity days.

[lighthouse17]

thank you for your replies.
As I don't have much experience of having a child at school, these replies really help. for example I never thought that she might be too tired after school to do activities so it might be better to use a childminder.
The private school excellent wrap-around care and if she was to go there it would be easiest option for us. However I could not afford 2 kids at private school so I will have to stick to having only one child :( even paying these fees for one child would be hard for us...

[OhMrDarcy]

Check the private school has clubs that a reception child can attend - our school says no clubs for reception children until at least the second term. The childen otherwise either play outside or have stories/films inside.

The other thing is that you might want to check the wraparound times - some school allow you to drop your child off at 8.15 and pick up at 5 (included in fees) but before or after these times there is a daily charge.

[OhMrDarcy]

To be blunt - if you're going to struggle paying fees at this level, then in all honesty I wouldn't consider it. There would be many years ahead of fees, and they only go up.

[lighthouse17]

hiya - the wraparound care is same as nursery which is 7.30am till 6pm.
We can pay the fees for one child by making some sacrifices. We are already paying a lot of money for this private nursery but of course we would have more holidays if weren't paying for school.

[SpoonintheBin]

Check the costs first. Ds music lesson is 88 pounds a term, but in our local fee paying school it is 240 pounds a term. Be careful that you include all costs.

[redhat]

Can you afford circa £10k per annum out of taxed income rising to circa £15k+ per annum out of taxed income? That's roughly what you'll need for school fees (plus trips uniform activities etc).

TBH your DC is likely to be shattered if she's in school 7.30 - 6pm every day. It's not the same as nursery.

I'd say a childminder is a better (and far cheaper) option unless you have that disposable income.

[Avebury]

Don't forget that independent schools have longer holidays so you also need to factor in the cost of holiday childcare.

[SpoonintheBin]

And their uniforms is well over 200 pounds

[Seeline]

HAve you visited both schools?
Which one would fit your DD best?

[lighthouse17]

I did visit the private school, it's lovely but I just have a feeling that the state school might be better for her. My DD is very outgoing and would enjoy having crowd around her. The private school seemed too strict and quite. It's only girls school and very academic. I am not sure if my daughter is academic... thank you for your replies as childminder sounds like a better choice to relax and have a calm afternoon.

[catslife]

Personally would go for the state school plus childminder option. It is likely that the childminder would also provide childcare in the school holidays as well.

[mouldycheesefan]

Will the private school give her dinner? If not and you are not picking her up till 6pm by time she gets home, eats, goes to bed she will be shattered. Whereas a childminder could give her dinner and downtime. I would use the childminder instead of the sac all together, I.e childminder picks up at 3.15pm, takes her home, has dinner and relax time. Not many childminders will want to haul ass to school at 5.30pm to do a pick up when mum will be there 20 mins later.

My kids were used to being in nursery till 6pm but school is a whole different ballgame they are all tired in reception by 6pm, they say expect your toddler back and it's true!

[Kanga59]

You'll need to factor in extra expense of covering the very very long holidays. Month at Xmas, month at Easter, 10 weeks over summer....

[JoJoSM2]

Personally, I'd consider an after-school nanny or an au pair if the state school is very good. The private school + wraparound care would make it a very, very long day and it could be nice for her to get home sooner with the nanny and play or relax. It would also not put any pressure on you to keep up with school fees as they rise the older she gets.

[Confusednotcom]

Good reason. The private school sounds lovely. I bet some of the kids have a sahp too; don't feel bad!

[Artistic]

Although there are several after school
clubs, in reality my DD doesn't use most s it's either her lack of interest or the money to be paid for it or having flexibility to do other things a few days in the evenings. So I'd be careful in 'falling' for these clubs. They sound wonderful when choosing the school but in reality you might use only a couple. I wouldn't choose a private school for this reason though there are good reasons I have chosen it for. In your situation id choose state & find a good childminder who can do afterschool pickup & care close to home/school.

[teacherwith2kids]

Tbh, in your position i would find a really good childminder. Ours was fab, and (importantly for us) would also drop DS / DD at, and even on some occasions collect them from 'other' out of school activities e.g. sports, Scouting / Guiding, dance for DD. Or, even better and more flexible, a nanny.

Part of our reasoning for using a childminder to continue what i had begun as a SAHM in terms of out of school clubs was that a private school's 'extracurricular activities' are a 'one size fits all' thing, and will also involve exactly the same people that your DD spends time with all day - and if this is a quiet, academic girls' school, these may not be quite the activities, or quite the people, she might thrive best with. OK, this is not a great issue at reception age, but by Y3 or 4, perhaps, if she is showing promise at a sport or activity that the school only does up to a particular level, or you realise that she'd love Cubs, then you are still stuck within the 'single provider' umbrella, rather than being able to take advantage of the whole range of 'community based' activities.

[RiverTam]

It sounds like the state school would be a better fit for your DD, so I would look into other after school options such as a childminder or even a student - I know of 2 families who share a local student for a few days after school care, she takes them to their after school activities like swimming etc.

If the schools were more 'equal' in terms of being right for your DD I'd stick with the private.

[hmmmum]

I would also stick with the state school and get a childminder. It's more flexible in that if she feels unwell or tired she can just be taken home. Also many children are very tired after school particularly in reception and might just want to go home /to childminders home and mooch around after school. She might prefer that one on one attention she'd get from a nanny (or with a childminder who'd have other kids but would still be able to focus on her). And a childminder still allows for after school activities and also play dates. It also means that if you do decide to have a second child it will be easier financially.

[hmmmum]

When I say "taken home" I mean to the childminder's home (as opposed to a busy after school setting)

[PeterandJudithSurname]

However I could not afford 2 kids at private school so I will have to stick to having only one child

As you are sad at not being able to try for another child if you send her private i would go for state plus childminder.

[Didiplanthis]

Re the last poster. You don't know what may or may not happen in the future. We always planned to send dd privately but knew we would find it tough with 2 children but thought it might just be do able so ttc with a sort of lets see what happens but fine if it doesn't attitude, except we had twins second time ! Totally not do able with 3. My dd is thriving in her state secondary and I feel the benefit she gets,from her siblings outweighs the benefits if private school. If we hadn't had another (2 !) we would still have a lovely family but a different sort of life. But I would be cautious of limiting your life options by committing to private education.