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Reception Children and Playdates

6 replies

jellybeans · 05/12/2006 17:17

Hi I have twin boys in reception, they were 4 at the very end of August. They were generally delayed in many areas due to amongst other things traumatic birth and have minor issues. Hence I am quite protective. They settled well at school and have been to a friends playdate for a couple of hours, I know the mum quite well and felt fine about it. They go to relatives etc who are aware of their issues.

BUT a few other mums have invited DT's and I felt uncomfortable, mainly as I don't know the parents/family and feel it would be hard to describe that they still put things in mouth/choke, no good round dogs/can run into road/speech issues etc. is it unreasonable to say that we are waiting till they are older to go unaccompanied to peoples houses? (maybe 4.6 or 5 yrs) I generally make excuses if put on the spot.

I am especially worried if there are dogs/long walks near main roads etc as some of the kids are at a more mature level than DT's and their kids will be on bikes/walking/running ahead/fine with garden ponds etc.

Should I put people off for now, be glad they are asked and just let them go OR invite the mums round with the children (some don't speak much English though which makes discussions abit harder)or try to explain their issues.

Thanks x

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scatterbrain · 05/12/2006 17:19

Could you go with them ? My dd is in Y1 now - but last year I had quite a few children accompanied by their mums - you haven't got to give a big reason - just say that they are a bit nervous the first time and prefer mummy to come too ! then you can sus out the set-up and make sure it is OK for your boys !

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Twiglett · 05/12/2006 17:19

are they being invited on their own or WITH you?

why don't you invite them round to your house (with mums) so you get a chance to get to know them and talk to them about your children

the problem is, as far as I can see, if you start refusing playdates now the chances are that tehy will settle into a social round and you may not be remembered in a few months IYSWIM

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iota · 05/12/2006 17:23

my ds2 is 5 (one of the oldest in Reception) so he is almost a year older than your DTs and he has recently been on his first school playdate. I stayed for a cup of tea to make sure he settled.

He has had his friend back and friend's mum also stayed for a cuppa to make sure her ds settled.

It's all very normal at this age for the mum to stay.

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jellybeans · 05/12/2006 17:24

Thanks, yes they are being invited on their own. Some of the mums have 4/5 children so not sure if they would accompany them, although i could just have a houseful (i have 4!)

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jellybeans · 05/12/2006 17:40

Thats a good idea to stay for a cup of tea, is it polite to invite myself? Or should i invite them first

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DimpledThighs · 05/12/2006 17:47

my ds was shy and I was protective. When he was asked round to soemone elses house I said yes please that would be lovely but is it okay if I come along. it was fine.

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