My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Education

Teachers referring to themselves as "Mrs" in emails to parents

181 replies

Mynameismummy · 01/10/2015 18:32

Does anyone else think it's a bit weird that a teacher would sign an email to you (parent) as "Mrs X"? Obviously, all the teachers are called "Miss X" or "Mrs X" by both children and parents and will refer to each other that way. All the older teachers do what I do - ie write to someone as "Dear Mrs whoever", but sign off "Firstname Lastname"...but all the younger ones sign themselves "Mrs X". Obviously not an earth shattering issue, but I just find it a bit disconcerting, as though they are treating you like one of the children!

OP posts:
Report
biscuitkumquat · 01/10/2015 18:39

DC's teacher did this, and I asked her! After DC had left & she said it was because when she was Mrs Smith she was at school, and she was being a teacher, when she was out of school she was Mrs Jane Smith,

Report
BrendaandEddie · 01/10/2015 18:40

oh teacher are twats like this
I always sign mine by my first and last name as I am an adult

Report
BrendaandEddie · 01/10/2015 18:41

i posted before abotu as a teacher emailing my sons' teacher, I have met her several times. SIgning myself Brenda, calling her Helen or whateever

and she the old fucker replies to me as Mrs Brenda signed Mrs HUmourlesscow

Report
Princesspond · 01/10/2015 18:44

I know what you mean when ours did a home visit they came round and introduced themselves to me as Mrs X, in my home (and they are younger than me). It irrationally annoys me particularly as in a work/professional capacity I always use my first name & surname

Report
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 01/10/2015 18:45

I don't find it odd at all. When I worked in a school I addressed parents as Ms/Miss/Mrs/Mr XXXX and they did the same to me, I didn't find it strange at all.

Report
PandasRock · 01/10/2015 18:47

Oh, this annoys me.

Thankfully dd2 seems to have a human for a teacher this year - I sent my first email to 'dear Mr X', and signed it firstname surname, and got a reply to 'dear firstname' signed with his firstname.

Sadly, her maths teacher is not quite as human, and is trying to insist on 'Miss Y', whilst happily using my first name.

And don't get me started on her swimming coach, who sent me an email last week starting 'dear parents of dd2' Wtf?! She had no problem remembering my name and surname last year, so no idea what has changed since then. I am sorely tempted to reply with 'dear teacher of dd2'

Report
BrendaandEddie · 01/10/2015 18:48

its rude to keep using last names

and patronising to parents

Report
exLtEveDallas · 01/10/2015 18:50

We address all parents as Mr/Mrs/Miss so sign off in the same way.

If I get an email addressed to 'Eve' I reply in the same way too, but most of them start Dear Mrs Dallas.

Report
SakuraSakura · 01/10/2015 18:50

I always address teachers by their surname, often wouldn't even know their first name. Wouldn't bother me.

Report
StressheadMcGee · 01/10/2015 18:51

I use Mrs Last name for myself, but then again, I wouldn't use a parent's first name without permission - I feel like that's ruder. Mind you, I teach secondary so deal with lots of parents on quite an infrequent basis.

Report
BrendaandEddie · 01/10/2015 18:53

if you have a lot of dealings with a parent I think it show the relationship has changed when you use first names

I do a lot of phoning and meeting. We talk to each other like equals

Report
Phineyj · 01/10/2015 18:53

I imagine it's mostly habit. It's frowned on to use first names with students in most schools and not a great idea to be too informal with parents either.

Report
superram · 01/10/2015 18:54

I am a teacher and always write to Mrs x but sign first name surname.

Report
FellOutOfBedTwice · 01/10/2015 18:57

I'm a teacher and this pisses me off. Always refer to myself as Jane FellOutOfBedTwice not Mrs. FellOutOfBedTwice- email, phone, parents evening.

Worse than this is when other teachers do it to each other. As in "Mr. Smith, Mrs. Jones is here to see you about those lesson plans!"

Fuck off.

Report
BrendaandEddie · 01/10/2015 18:58

or when colleagues call you MISS ( no last name ) to the kids

'give this to Miss"

Report
PandasRock · 01/10/2015 18:58

Tbh, I don't mind if a teacher prefers to stay at the 'dear Mrs X/signed Mrs Y' level.

But I hate it when I get 'dear firstname' signed from 'Mrs X'. That is just rude and unnecessary

Report
SenecaFalls · 01/10/2015 19:00

How you address people is irrelevant. Basic etiquette is that you never sign your title. It's one of those etiquette rules that actually makes sense in that it does not draw your attention to differences in rank.

If you are Jane Jones, you sign "Jane Jones", not Mrs, Miss or Ms Jones. If you are the Duke of Norfolk, you sign "Norfolk", not Duke of.

Report
ProphetOfDoom · 01/10/2015 19:04

When I rang home to track a missing student, the student in question answered the phone. I introduced myself by my first and last name and got an expletively descriptive, 'I don't know no %#$% Lorna Doom.' When I said,
'It's Miss Doom, your form tutor,' the response was,
'Hey miss, I didn't know it was you.'

It's a fair point OP. I think teachers get so used to being called Mr/Miss/Mrs by their students, (maybe more so than most other jobs where you are known almost uniformly by your first name?), that they don't notice the distinction.

Report
starlight2007 · 01/10/2015 19:04

I always letters to teachers as Mrs.... And sign it off Mrs Starlight so I wouldn't expect nothing different..Phonecalls I tend to get get first names...

I was in a meeting with HT and she kept referring to teacher by first name ..I was left whether to continue with mrs... or start referring to first name...Both then felt wrong

Phonecalls teachers tend to use both christian and surnames

Report
Kuppenbender · 01/10/2015 19:06

I wouldn't consider it weird; a little aloof maybe. If someone wants to be addressed as Mrs/Mr X, teacher or not, that's up to them. I would say that unless they're children, it would be rude to do otherwise.

Obviously immediate family members are different. I don't mind being rude to them :)

Report
BackforGood · 01/10/2015 19:17

its rude to keep using last names
Not in my world - I think it's rude to presume you can all someone by their fist name when you don't known them

However, back to OP

I don't think it's strange - it's what you are called in your professional life.
I would expect anyone from school e-mailing me to start "Dear Mrs Good" and finish it in the same style "Mr Teacher", tbh.
If I were contacting them I'd put "Back for Good" and that is then an invitation in their reply to use my first name if they choose.

Report
Mynameismummy · 01/10/2015 19:17

Thanks all! Interestingly, now I think about it, it's only the younger teachers at DD's school who sign themselves "Mrs X". All the older ones - including the head - use Firstname Lastname. Confidence thing, maybe - or something part of more modern teacher training? I would never see Firstname Lastname as an invitation to use their first name - maybe they fear people thinking that.

Calling you Firstname and signing themselves Mrs X is really crap though!

OP posts:
Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

MsMermaid · 01/10/2015 19:17

I am a teacher (secondary) and sign (type) Ms Mermaid at the end of letters but would do a written signature with my first initial. I've always been Ms Mermaid to pupils and parents, because I assume that the parents will have heard of me from the pupils, so use the form of address that the pupils use. I don't know the first name of any of dd1's teachers and would be confused if someone referred to them as anything other than Mr/Ms X (I'm obviously easily confused, but I do have a lot of names to try and remember so like to have a bit of context)

Report
Mynameismummy · 01/10/2015 19:19

ProphetOfDoom - love that story! Hilarious.

OP posts:
Report
SenecaFalls · 01/10/2015 19:19

My guess is that the older teachers were taught the etiquette of never signing your title, OP, and that the younger ones were not.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.