Bullied by teachers

[hathead99]

DS just told me what happened at school yesterday.In front of his whole year group of 8 year olds , a teacher said to him "Whats your name?"He answered and she told him to stand up. She then said "Who thinks he has brushed his hair today?" Poor kid was mortified and burst into tears. I am complaining to the school but I know they won't do anything about it or her. And we're paying for this! What would you do?

[ANiceGlassofBaileys]

Talk directly to the teacher - as her what right she has to embarrass your son like this in front of the whole class.

If she has an issue with his appearance she should discuss it with him in private and if needed take it up with you - his parents.

I would complain to the school regardless - what a witch to do that to a child!

The weather was'nt exactly helpful yesterday in terms of keeping tidy hair either - oh I am so cross on your behalf

[NAKM]

Go in and speak to the teacher directly. Let her know you know and ask her to explain her side of the story. If it isn't feasable, speak to the head directly and let them know you are not happy about the teacher's attitude. But do get the teacher to explain. It might be something taken completely out of context and is easily explainable. Try to keep your son out of it as much as possible though, as he is the one who has to go in to school each day and you don't want to make him even more anxious. (I'm a deputy head at an independent school, so am talking from both perspectives here!!)

[7up]

oh god, id be livid your poor son

[hathead99]

Thanks for the advice
Sent DP to see the teacher who said she didn't mean to make him cry . The problem is that the school is very caught up on discipline and the kids are too frightened to answer back in case they lose points etc. There seems to be a whole culture of shouting and not allowing kids to talk-even at lunchtimes. If you talk to the school they placate you but they don't really take any notice of you - and other people have said the more you complain, the more they take it out on the kids. Its got to the stage where we think the teachers are more hung up on smart appearance etc then what they are teaching. We're considering taking him out and finding another school ... but its not proving easy to find many with places.

[octobermum]

I would remove him from this school, as they seemed to more interested in the league table, then the children's welfare.

[colditz]

get him out of thaat school.

[hairymclary]

that is truly disgusting. there is no way I would send a child of mine to a school that did that.
I would complain in the strongest terms to the school and to ofsted

[sunnysideup]

hathead, that really is horrible treatment by the teacher...really worrying I think. This is different from being a teacher/school that is 'hot' on discipline or behaviour; I'd be really worried about a teacher who could even think of publicly humiliating a child like this.

I think make the most of the fact that if your ds goes, the school lose his fees! Put the head on the spot...get a meeting, put it in writing so it can't be ignored, shout from the rooftops if you have to, contact the inspecting body...

oooh, I'll help if you want! So cross on your poor boy's behalf. Give him a hug from me!

[NAKM]

If you're unhappy with the school,then you need to talk to the head. Things can only change when the issues are communicated to the people involved. If you are honest and open, the head should be too. Not every school is the perfect fit for every child, so if it doesn't feel right, then maybe it isn't. It's really hard to keep a balanced view when everyone is coming at you with knee-jerk reactions. I know it's difficult, but if you do remove him think of the upheaval aspect and whether your son will benefit from the move (I'm talking socially here) Sometimes removing a child from their peer group at a time that is not the norm can be more damaging, as they then feel they are being "punished" (for want of a better word) I would really talk to the head first before making a big decision like moving him. Sorry, I just feel a balanced view is more relevant here; instead of the "get him out of there" responses.

[hathead99]

NAKM - I do understand what you are saying.The problem is that the head won't help - I have tried before asking for help on certain areas and nothing was done. My son himself wants to leave (and he's been there since he was 4 and was happy until last year). I will see the head again of course.
Thanks

[NAKM]

Sorry to hear that. It makes me so sad to hear stories where they get it so wrong, because it really doesn't have to be that way. If your son is genuinely unhappy, then maybe the time is right to consider your options. Who am I to suggest otherwise??!! You are the only people who have a true understanding of what is going on, so go with your gut feeling. If you feel strongly enough about it, you should put your feelings in writing. All grievances of an official nature need to be put into a file that is made available to inspectors if they should wish to see it. That way, if the school are doing unethical things, they will have to think seriously about them if you make it official. Without naming schools, let me know if I can help you in the London area if you are struggling to come up with alternatives!

[hulababy]

The teacher was completely out of order. I feel really and for your son. Noghtmare that the school doesn't seem to do anything either. TBH your description of the school doesn't sound great - if you were already considering it anyway, I would definitely suggest having a look at some alternatives.

[juuule]

Slightly OT - does anyone know why school's bullying policies don't seem to include something that covers teachers bullying pupils?

[hulababy]

I guess because that would be covered in a teacher's professional code of conduct - rather than a school policy.

[juuule]

Well that explains that, then