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Do I change their schools again?

20 replies

SparklePrincess · 04/11/2006 21:19

We moved area a year ago & my children started at a new school. To be honest, although the school is lovely its a nightmare to get to & park sensibly/safely unless we leave the house at least half an hour before school starts/finishes. walking simply isnt an option im afraid because its down country lanes & quite dangerous Another problem (which i thought was a bonus when they started) are the small year groups & class sizes. In some ways its nice because children of all ages play together sometimes, but on the other side of the coin my dd has only 5 other girls in her year group to choose from as friends & since another girl joined the class earlier in the year dd seems to of lost her special friend to the new girl. she doesnt seem to be on the same wavelength as the other girls her age (dd is a tomboy) so either plays with older girls, the boys or with no one her sister is generally ok, but still has no special friend of her own & also plays on her own sometimes, or the girls play together.
Finally getting to the point (sorry its a bit drawn out) a friend whos dd recently joined the girls school has been offered a place at our local school. (This school is very hard to get into if you dont apply for reception when living in catchment) they didnt have places for my two last year when i phoned about places. I didnt ask to go on the waiting list at the time, didnt think id ever consider changing their schools again. But... the journey/parking problem has got progressively worse to the point its an absolute nightmare i spend the morning yelling at the girls to hurry up because we have to leave at some silly time to get to school only to spend 20 minutes waiting in the car. Its stressful for us all & IMO a ridiculous thing to have to do when we have a good local school 5 minutes walk away we would be able to leave the house at 845am instead of 815am, the girls & I would be less stressed out during the day, they would have more free time & we would actually get to know other children/parents on the housing estate we live in. At the moment we feel like outsiders in our own community because our children do not attend the local school, & because of this they havent got to know any of the local children so dont have local friends. Mantaining friendships from the current school is hard work because we are having a lot of work done on our house & havent been able to have many children over (except in the summer when they could use the garden) because of this they haven had many return invites.
This is all theoretical at the moment anyway, they only have a place for one of my girls & im actually pretty sure thats already been accepted by another parent at our current school. i have toyed with the idea of sending the dd they possibly have a place for to the school (my friend agreed to take her) & waiting for another place to open up, but who knows how long that would take? possibly another 2 years until dd is in the juniors & they can take more than 30 in the class, & all that time i would have to either continue nightmare school run or horror of horrors home education (which im not very confident about doing myself, but i do have a teacher friend who would help so it is a possibility) After their friends decision to leave their school & move to the local one I have mentioned to the girls about whether they would like to go to our local school themselves or not. Youngest is well up for it (but has no place) eldest (possible place) would go for it if her sister went but is generally happy & settled at her current school. My thoughts on her going to local school while her sister went to current school/home ed are mixed. It could be the making of her going to school without me, unfortunately she can still get a bit clingy about separation sometimes & is quite quiet & shy, but she has happily gone back alone to her friends house before. The separation thing simply wouldnt be an issue if she went with my friend, so in theory it could be a great confidence booster, or it could all go horribly wrong
Am i an awful mum to even consider this?

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Orinoco · 04/11/2006 21:58

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SparklePrincess · 04/11/2006 22:17

Thanks Orinoco I actually really like their current school, it is a really lovely friendly school, I doubt they would do much better in the private sector to be honest. Its just the whole school run thing has become a bit of a nightmare entirely due to the fact that the school has become more popular & is fuller than it was last year. A victim of its own success so to speak. If this were our local school I would be ectatic, but unfortunately its not

The local school is also a good school. I used to work there when we first moved here & I know a lot of the children that go there to say hello to, I know that they live on our estate. Both our neighbours children go to the local school, next door but one have 2 girls my youngests age, but ive never even had a conversation with either of them (houses not very close together, busy lives, just tend to get in our cars & go) it seems such a shame for the girls

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Orinoco · 04/11/2006 22:19

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SparklePrincess · 04/11/2006 22:25

I would prefer to wait until they can take both of them, but im not sure that will ever happen. As soon as a place becomes available in a certain year group it gets snapped up. Its doubly hard waiting on places in two year groups I fear our only option may be to take a gamble.

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Orinoco · 04/11/2006 22:29

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SparklePrincess · 04/11/2006 23:26

Eldests 7 in year 3 & youngests 5 in year 1.

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SparklePrincess · 04/11/2006 23:28

This would be the eldests third school, which i realise is not great.

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wheresthehamster · 05/11/2006 14:49

Did you say you were on the waiting list?
If not, put your dds' names down now and also ask the head about the likelihood of being able to offer both a place even if only one is available. This may happen if you are offered a place at KS1 because even though the KS2 place may not be available the school can be flexible in the right circumstances with the older ones.
You never know - especially if he/she is aware that you are an enthusiastic mother - e.g. PTA/classroom helper, prospective governor etc!
Try not to fret at the moment, leave that until you get offered a place! Remember you don't have to accept it.

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SparklePrincess · 05/11/2006 16:51

Thanks wheresthehamster The possible place is in key stage 2 unfortunately. I know that they have rules about infant class sizes, so the only hope of gaining a place for the younger dd would be if anyone left that class, or wait until she goes up to juniors (another 2 years) & they are allowed bigger classes. If we have to wait that long & I kept them both at the current school, my eldest would only have another 2 years left at primary school & as they would both of been at the school for 3 years I think it wouldnt be so easy to move them. I very much doubt I would if they had been at the school for that long.
The thought of throwing my eldest in at the deep end again at another new school makes me feel sick but i also know that it could be just what she needs, to have local friends she can see whenever she likes instead of only at school. It would be good for both of them.

It makes me cross that the government are so keen on us all using less fuel & not doing unnescasary journeys, yet people are forced to drive their children to school every day polluting the environment, all because the local school isnt big enough to accomodate families on the estate it was built to serve

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fennel · 06/11/2006 09:55

my dds (age 6 and 5) have moved school twice in the last year, for the same sort of reasons as you. We moved to a new area and rented a house, so they started at a local school then. Then we bought a house, closish by but the school run was grim, so they moved again to the new local school, 6 months after moving to their first "new" school.

that was mid sept. they have been absolutely fine with it. we asked them and they were keen to change again to be close to the new school. we did think we'd have to wait for one to get a place and then the second, as you describe, but we appealed and both got in together.

I was gutted at the thought of moving them a second time, and the school they were at was very nice. but it's worked out well really. my 6yo is shy but has settled ok each time. and it has saved us 6 years (or 9 years including their 2yo sister) of a terrible school run.

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fennel · 06/11/2006 09:58

my girls wanted to move so that they could walk 5 minutes to school instead of spending 20 minutes in traffic jams in the car, have you asked your children what they think about that? I was surprised that mine were so definite about that.

And they do like being at the school where most of the local children are going, even though we don't know loads of people locally yet, we do know that the friends they make at school will be living close by and they will be able to play with them more easily after school and at weekends.

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SparklePrincess · 06/11/2006 13:49

Many thanks fennel Its good to hear of a similar case scenario where it worked out fine.
If the school had places for both girls I think they would happily change. The thought of scootering to school swings it for the eldest, youngest has already said she wants to go to this school. She has actually been to the local school a few times. I used to work there as a dinner lady until recently & she came with me on a few occasions when she was off sick. The children were very nice to her, saying they wished she could go to their school, so im not suprised she is happy to go there.
I think I will speak to my friend whos dd started there today, find out how things went, then badger the school to see if they still have the year 3 place.

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fennel · 06/11/2006 15:01

Mine are thoroughly enjoying scootering, cycling and walking to school again after the brief car-bound interlude.

If you get one in you are, I think, very likely to get a sibling in on appeal. I would definitely try that. Or at least they become high priority for a place.

When I appealed for places at the officially full local school, I wrote a passionate essay on my children's right to attend their local school and become integrated in their local communityrather than have to commute by car to another area, it seemed to do the trick. but our local council is very keen on children going to their local schools.

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SparklePrincess · 06/11/2006 20:24

It looks like im too late the year 3 place has been accepted by another family. Im going to give the school a ring tomorrow though to clarify the situation. Im pretty sure there was only one year 3 place, but perhaps theyre not up to their maximum quota yet, just their prefered quota. I know when I spoke to the secretary the other day she said they prefered to keep the classes at 30, but it wasnt always possible to do that. Maybe if im persistent I can get a year 3 place & then appeal along the lines of how you did in order to get the other one in. I can but try.
Many thanks for showing me it can be done. I only wish id had a bit more time to decide before somebody else pinched the place

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SparklePrincess · 07/11/2006 10:37

I just spoke to the local school & they still have a year 3 place available im waiting for the head to get back to me to arrange to show dd around. I feel sick, I dont know what to do now. Is it really a good idea to gamble like this on getting another year one school place in the near future? B*y H**
Sorry everyone Am I seriously mad to even consider sending my dd`s to different schools or home edding the younger one? Has anyone else done this before?
Im seriously panicking now!

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fennel · 07/11/2006 10:45

I'd still say go for it based on our positive experience of a second change.

You will almost certainly get the second child in, probably fairly soon, though they won't guarantee it.

What you put in your post below about not having to drive children to school but wanting them to go to their local school, that's the sort of thing I wrote in my (immediately successful) appeal. You can have a copy of my letter if you like if you are going to appeal on these sorts of groupngs.

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fennel · 07/11/2006 10:46

grounds not groupngs

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SparklePrincess · 07/11/2006 11:27

Thank you fennel, that may be helpful. My email address is [email protected]
I think you were very lucky to win an appeal for an infant place. From what ive heard its virtually impossible & the 30 limit is set in stone. Id be very grateful for any advice you could offer me whatsoever about how to go about doing this. At the moment my dealings are just with the school. I havent been in touch with the LEA at all at this stage. So if dd is ok about moving (possibly without her sister) at this stage, would my next move be to contact the LEA about appealing for my younger dd? or would I be able to do this through the school? I dont want to put the schools backs up before weve even started though by going against what theyve said or behind their backs.
Its a tough one.

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fennel · 07/11/2006 11:59

Our new school is a little village one so there are currently only 16 children in the reception/yr 1 class my 5y0 went into, and 20 children in the yr1/yr2 class my 6yo went into.

So though the classes were officially "full" the class sizes were quite small. I think they are very strict about infant class sizes but ours were full on some other criteria - size of rooms, overall school resources, or similar.

will email you my appeal letter.

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SparklePrincess · 07/11/2006 12:07

Thanks fennel

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