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Education

My DD won't learn, what else can we try?

16 replies

Bexc · 30/10/2006 22:36

My 6 yr old DD just refuses to learn, she cant read or write (the only thing she can write is her name which sometimes she struggles with even though we support her all the way). She can just about count to 10 but even struggles with that. Myself and my partner have tried everything from fun games and even tried the hard way but all she ever wants to do is play even after taking her toys away and banning the tv. We've run out of ideas and now she is a year behind on her schoolwork. I really want my DD to be very successful but even teachers are struggling to get her to buckle down to her schoolwork. I know that most children snap out of it eventually but my DD is showing no signs of trying!! If anybody can help please do! Thankyou.

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kid · 30/10/2006 22:42

Maybe finding something that she really enjoys to reward her for trying.
You do need to find out if there is a reason why she isn't learning or simply that she doesn't want to. No idea how you can find out btw.
I realise how frustrating it must be, I am currently trying to get extra support for DD who is also a year behind in some areas.

hairymclary · 30/10/2006 22:42

Have you thought about the possibility that she may not be "refusing"? perhaps she has real problems with it, maybe she is dyslexic?

Piffle · 30/10/2006 22:42

Has she been seen by an special educational needs person for her delays?
Your description rang alarm bells for me
My dd is just 4 and has had development and speech delays which she is coming out of
She can write her name, count very high, add and is learning to read.
Do you think your dd can but won't
Or can't so won't?
I think you need some proper advice - does your school have a SEN teacher who could help?

RancidRhubarb · 30/10/2006 22:44

Has she been tested for dyslexia? Most children were labelled as lazy or stupid before being found out as dyslexic.

I think that if her teachers are concerned too then it is time to have a word with your GP to see if you can find out what could be stopping her.

Other than that. Take some time out. Read to her every day, get her into books and loving them. Point out signs and tell her what they say. Sing counting songs and ask her to join in. Just invite her to go along with you but don't force, leave it up to her. If you are relaxed then she will relax more. It could be that she is picking up on your frustration and anxiety and she has closed herself down in response to that.

Bexc · 30/10/2006 22:47

When i confront my dd about what is so awful about learning she replys with "it's too boring" she does have a SEN teacher but it doesnt seem to be doing anything for her. I seriously dont know what to do anymore. Ive suggested that if she can learn to read and write she can start on writing a letter to santa but that doesnt seem to interest her as all she says is she cant because she doesnt know how to.

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kid · 30/10/2006 22:49

Does she like drawing?
Maybe just by getting her to use a pen or pencil would be a starting point which can then go onto copying letters/words/numbers.

RancidRhubarb · 30/10/2006 22:51

I think you are worrying her and pushing her too much.

Get her tested first of all just to make sure there is nothing wrong. Could be dyslexia, or a hearing problem or a number of things and before you push her more you need to find this out.

Then take a deep breath and let her be! Once you stop hassling her she'll start to take an interest in her own good time. Do fun things with her instead! The bbc website is very good for learning and it's fun too! Click on education and she can play games that help her learn at the same time.

I actually feel a bit sorry for her!

EmmyLou · 30/10/2006 22:57

I'd back off completely for a while. Talk about other stuff. Read to her LOADS and take her out to museums, galleries etc.

Would definitely investigate possible dyslexic problems. But remember that if she was anywhere else in Europe, she wouldn't even be beginning to learn these things formally. Play is still so very important.

Someone I know (who got a first class degree in English) didn't learn to read until she was 9.

Bexc · 30/10/2006 22:58

we dont push her too much we just give her an extra hour of trying to read with her when she finishes school but its not sinking in. I will take your advice though and see her SEN teacher and also the GP. She does love drawing which is a good thing and i love her drawings but thanks anyway everyone for your advice and i will try everything suggested to us. Thanks again

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soph28 · 30/10/2006 22:59

maybe she's a genius and it really is too boring for her!!

juuule · 30/10/2006 22:59

Another good site for her to play on is starfall . Just let her play on it. Don't make it a lesson type thing. Let her come around to things in her own time.

Bexc · 30/10/2006 23:05

Just looked at the site starfall and it looks great for her thanks very much will let her spend some time on that tomorrow when she finishes school.

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RancidRhubarb · 31/10/2006 11:58

I think homework is too much for a child of this age. She is already in school for 6.5 hours a day and if you are doing another hour when she is tired, that is 7.5 hours a day she is working and she is only 7!

Sorry but I do think that expecting her to do another hour of work after school is pushing her too much. Did you do homework at that age? I know I didn't!

bluejelly · 31/10/2006 12:14

I didn't get any homework from school till I was 11. I hate the fact that my dd gets it 3x a week.
I think it's too much pressure

Skribble · 31/10/2006 12:14

Perhaps "learning" has been seperated too much from everything else in her life and made to look like a big huge mountain she has to climb.

Sitting her down to Learn is turning her off. I would perhaps make sure she is getting to do lots of fun activities and games and she will start to pick things up at her own pace. She doesn't need to know its going to be a learning experience, they can learn all sorts with out formal sit down learning. Please don't take awy her toys she will be learning from play keep u with the fun play.

I would still be having major disscussions with the school and making very very sure that there are no underling problems that are making this difficult for her, hearing and sight etc. Dyslexia still sounds possible it can be hard to diagnose as there can be many levels of severity.

bluejelly · 31/10/2006 12:16

Sorry forgot my dd is 6 too.
I agree with the poster who suggested backing off, reading to her and taking her on lots of trips!
Confronting/forcing rarely achieves anything and can make it into a negative attention 'game'.

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