Looking at high school tonight

[kimi]

Tonight we are off to start looking at the local secondery schools, DS1 will be going in to year 7 next September but we have to choose a school by 31th October. We have 2 local schools one has quite good press the other is on special report.
DS1 is being bullied at school and i dont really want to send him to the same school as the little shit that is bullying him, but i have no way of knowing what school he will be going to.
Also DS1 wants to go to the good local school as he has friends there already but they will be a year above DS when he starts.
DS1 has SN and so i need to find the school with the best senco also.
I have sleepless nights over this.
I want DS to be happy , he is bright and does well at school, i want him to be safe not being hurt every day, and i want him to have a good education and do well.
Also there are chances to go and look at the schools in the day time see how they work etc.
I think i should have made a list of questions.
Im so out of my depth here.

[kimi]

sorry thats the 13th of October

[Sunnysideup]

Kimi, have a good look at the one on special report - obviously it may be well worth avoiding, but sometimes these schools have a LOT of money thrown at them to help with problems, so it may be a school that is on the up and offering some good stuff; you never know!

If I were you I would be phoning both schools to get an individual appointment with the head; and talk to them about all the things you've mentioned here, they're all valid qustions and no head will mind talking to you about them. You can ask the head what the arrangements are with their senco's, etc.

Also, I would be asking them that if it does turn out that the bully is in the same school, what would their strategies be to help your DS and to help this boy move on from previous behaviour - I'd be looking that they didn't focus their answer just on your ds, they would need to be addressing this boy as the perpetrator. But of course until it happened in their school, it would be all theoretical to them; but forewarned is forearmed!

Don't have sleepless nights, you know what to ask and they should be more than happy to accommodate your visits and questions.

[kimi]

Thanks ssu, just got back from the school we were looking at today, it seems very nice good ofstead, good results etc, did not get a chance to talk to anyone about Senco, but willsee if i can make appointmentto speake to right person.
Sadly the "mother" of the other child was looking also, but there are 7 classes for each year and 2 groups so in school they could be kept apart, its the going to and coming from that would be a problem i dont want my son to go through another 5 years of torment but i dont want to put him in a sub standered school and mess up his education just to keep him away from this bloody child.
Got 3 more to look at.
my mother said she Wishes they still did the 11+ then if your smart you get a good school, DS1 would get the good school then and the other boy the not so good school! God i love my mom

[mumblechum]

Hi Kimi, I was following your other thread about bullying and tbh, if I was you I'd do whatever it takes to make sure your ds isn't in the same school. Do you have any mutual friends who can spy on your behalf to sound out the little s..t's mum as to her intentions? Even if they're in separate forms, as you rightly say, there's potential for aggro on the transport. A friend of mine's son has been bullied all thru primary by two boys and is now, in Y7, in the same form as them and the bullying continues only now it's worse because other kids are joining in. If I was your son I'd want a completely clean slate in the new school.

[kimi]

Hi MC, My DS1 has no real friends at school as anyone who plays with him gets beaten up by the other boy.
We were friends with this family for some time before the bulling started, and when it first started i thought a chat with the other "mother" and getting the boys together would sort it out but how wrong i was. She IS very stupid (something i knew from being friends with her, as what ever her son did it was the other persons fault, the playgroups fault the schools fault etc she will not EVER say her son is in the wrong EVEN if she sees him doing something wrong.
When my son did hit back (she managed to see that, but not her son try to kick mine in the head) she sent her husband round to kick our front door and shout and sware, (you can see that the child has NO hope at all) when i told the child off for swareing at me she sent her husband round to the school with his half brother to threaten me! (both times i called the police).
The sad thing about it is she now works in my sons school so her son thinks he is untouchable.
The good high school is the one closest to them as it is to us, and as she was there last night i think that she will be chooseing it as first choice .
We have some other schools to look at but all are a bus ride away.
I have an appointment to take DS1 to look round the good school next week, but i am hoping he will like the look of some of the others more.
But it really p*sses me off that we may end up with a sub standered school just to stop her son having a go at my son the whole time, her son is in the lowest group in every subject, and will end up flipping bloody burgers in mcdonalds.
I know i sound bitter but he really is the most nasty, spiteful, voilent little shit you have ever met,

[mumblechum]

Hmm, I see the dilemma. Maybe you should talk to the LEA and the "good school" & ask for guidance?

[kimi]

looking at another school today, and taking DS1 to look at the good school on friday morning.
Have met with the LEA ,was a nice man very helpful, but he has left and been replaced by the wicked witch of the west,