Grammar or not?(15 Posts)
My dd is bright. She recently expressed the desire to sit the eleven plus (we're in Beds, a 3-schoolo system, but she cold go to grammar in neighbouring Bucks if she passes eleven plus). She's having some tutoring.
I can't decide what would be best - should she pass. Grammar or not?? It'll be a longer commute for her - half an hour by bus./ She's have to make new friends, and she's made a lovely group of friends at her current school. Her new friends could live an hour away - she'd miss seeing local friends and walking into town to see friends as she gets older.
Would she really get that much better grades?? Or will she learn and be happy wherever she is? Or would the other opportunities at grammar be better fr her in the long term? It would look better on her CV, I suppose, but I'm concerned with now.
Help! has anyone had a similar situation? Can you advise?
I think, as she wants to take the test and she has a tutor, see how she does in the test. If she gets a qualifying mark in the test, then see if your DD still wants to go to a grammar school. If her heart is set on it and she has been offered a place, I think you would be mean to have put her through the test and tutoring to then tell her she cannot go! If she decides she doesn't want to go, that is another matter.
Would you consider moving house to be nearer a grammar? Some families do.
If she isn't offered a place at grammar school, you are in the fortunate position of not having to do much and with a 3 school system it will have less impact, although it is likely that some in her year group will go to grammar school and are doing the same, and not telling others about it.
Hi Cocktail - did you see my thread about moving my DD out of grammar?! That said, I agree with yegods - I think taking the 11+ means you may get a choice, so if you can afford the tutor and she is not under pressure, then carry on and make your decision once you see her score.
I think you're doing things the wrong way round. Do you and she want her (ideally) to go to the grammar? Surely you should make up your mind about that before deciding she should do the 11 plus and getting her a tutor. If she is offered a place, chances are you'll be carried along by that and send her to the grammar. If you look at both school options carefully now, you're more likely to come to an objective decision.
We are coming to this a bit late since dd has only just said she'd like to take the 11+ after saying for ages she doesn't want to. Others in her class are doing it and I think that's swayed her.
I wanted to book a tutor before we looked at the grammar because they're all getting booked up.
Next thing on my list is checking grammar open days and taking dd to see it!
The way I look at it, even if we spent ££ on tutoring and dd passes then 11+, but then decides she doesn't want to go, it won't be wasted money as it will help her at school.
They don't do VR and the essay requirements seem to differ to what they do in school ie in half an hour you would write something very different to that in extended writing sessions at school.
The maths also seems to focus on the old fashioned methods( I've been worried re confusing them). The only benefits I would say are earlier exposure to some maths topics and comprehension.
OK, we're going to an open morning next week at the grammar. Was just speaking to another mum whose dd didn't do any tutoring and she passed the eleven plus. Am now wondering about tutoring. Argh!
In answer to your original question, will she achieve her potential if she doesn't go to the grammar school, then I think so much depends on the alternatives available to you.
If your dd is likely to go to a local school, alongside a group of similar ability pupils, as part of a balanced intake, then your dd is likely to do at least as well as she would in another setting, eg a grammar school.
On the other hand, if you live in an area where a significant group of the able students are taken away from the local school, then it could be more difficult for your dd to achieve her potential, just because there are fewer high ability students in the school.
Alongside open day visits to the grammar school, see if you can visit the local secondary option (not sure what age that runs from in 3 tier system)
Thanks, why, that's a good idea. A few from her year will go to grammar, but I know some of the able children aren't even taking the eleven plus, so there will still be other similar ability pupils. They are always a few that go to grammar then come back to dd's school .I'm v happy with her middle school - it's the upper school I'm more concerned about.
I think I'll contact the upper school and see what they say too.
Beware of what other parents choose to tell you with regards to tutoring. I overheard a neighbour telling a couple of mum friends in the playground her dd1 passed with no tutoring. Unfortunately her dh had told my dh he was glad it was all over as he had to drive his dd1 to a tutor twice a week for two years as hervenglish was weak. He even passed the number on.
Another parent told me they hadn't tutored either but she is an ex teacher and I am sure did a fair bit of it herself...
!!! I think I can believe this parent - she's a TA and seems pretty straightforward. The new transition test is supposed to be planned so that it's tutor-proof - which is a move in the right direction imo. We shall see!
Why the !!!
I am just sharing my own experience in an attempt to be helpful. I will butt out now.
oh yes and definitely agree re ignoring the "oh we didn't use a tutor" bullshit. no but you have been doing bond books etc with the kids many times a week for YEARS oh and your aunty is a teacher and has been giving you some practice papers. but that is not tutoring, oh no no.
seriously the whole school transition thing - just do your own thing and ignore others! it is so complex emotionally, financially, socially - people lie/convince themselves.
Soveryupset - no disrespect to you, was just amazed that some parents pretend not t o tutor then do - please don't butt out!!
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