dd1 school report 80.6% attendance, ifeel so ashamed.

[misdee]

especially with regards to the head teachers comments.

dd1 time off school has mainly nothing to do with dh illness but everything to do with her bad asthma and eczema, and 10 out of the 50 sessions missed were due to the asthma attack dd1 had at school and the steroids etc that she had to take afterwards, and my loss of trust in the school.

[expatinscotland]

homeschool, perhaps?

it's looking like more and more an option for a lot of us who need more flexibility.

[Twiglett]

what were head teacher's comments to make you feel bad

you were coping with her illness, that school failed to cope with adequately

no issue there

[SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair]

Well why on earth the shame Misdee? Both the illness of Peter AND her health problems- hardly your fault.

Mind you, am also of the Home School is best view, if I could manage it

[misdee]

i dont think i could manage home schooling, i like the time they are at school/pre-school.

'it is very difficult to establish consistance of learnign and progress with such low attendance.

Whilst i appreciaye your differecult family circumstances i hope will be able to achieve nearer the expected 95% attendance target in year 2'

dd1 is in a SN groups due to her problems with phonics and writing. so teh above makes me shite..

[Bozza]

'the expected 95% attendance target in year 2' I think says it all. The head is miffed because she is contributing towards the school failure to reach target. Don't think he is that worried about DD's health and education. That is my reading of it anyway.

You, of course, are far more concerned about DD's health and education than some poxy target.

[Mercy]

at that comment

misdee, my dd has a lower attendance record than that (she's in Reception) and there was no comment on her report. She's just had load of colds, throat infections not a chronic illness like asthma.

Can you speak to the classteacher about this?

[poisson]

whast sort of abscences are they?
one day ones generaally are not approved of ime

[poisson]

80 % is LOt of time off!

is it hlaf a day a week?

[noddyholder]

I think in your circumstances they should make an exception What a horrible letter to get

[expatinscotland]

If it's for illness, well, what can he do?

[nailpolish]

misdee they are just worried about dd1 possibly, she might have missed important stuff

maybe they would be willing to talk about it and help

[Blandmum]

I think they have been tactless. I think this would have been much better sorted out with a friendly chat.

Is it possible to discuss the topic with them? are they approachable? Have they provided you with work for your dd to have a go at if she is off sick?

When ds had shingles the school gave us a pack with instructions to use it with him if he felt well enough.

Could you do something like that? It would help your dd and migh help to build some bridges with the school....wh have gone in a bit mob handed.

also, how is her asthma now? can you get the gp to get it under better conrol (sympathise on this one as ds has asthma and it took a while to get it sorted)

[LeahE]

I would reply something along the lines of

"I am glad that you appreciate our difficult family circumstances. However, if you check your records you will notice that the majority of the time [DD] has missed has in fact been down to her own health and her problems with bad asthma, eczema and serious allergies."

"Ten of the fifty sessions missed, for example, were directly attributable to one asthma attack she had at school on [date]. On that occasion, as you will remember from our earlier discussions, she was not allowed the use of her inhaler with the result that the attack became very severe and resulted in the need for steroid treatment and [DD]'s missing several days of school." [hope I'm remembering right and this was you, misdee]

"I agree with you entirely that it is very important for [DD]s learning and progress that she manages to attend school consistently. I will be very glad to hear your plans as to how [School Name] intends to assist in the management of [DD]'s asthma and other allergies so that she will experience fewer such episodes next year and the 95% attendance target can be met."

[Blandmum]

and most of all don't feel ashamed

[saggarmakersbottomknocker]

misdee - take heart (no pun intended) my dd's is barely over 70% this year

[misdee]

cod, i know dd1 attendance is poor, i know it amounts to her missing 1/5 of school which equates to one day a week. but since january, after all my kids went down with chickenpox they have all been ill one after the other, dd1 more than others. she has had several bad asthma attacks, one at school which the school 'missed' all the signs of an attack and she3 ended up needing a nebuliser and on-going steroid treatment for several days afterwards. i was ready there and then to pull her out completely as i feel they failed her when she was under their care. her asthma has been poor this year as the air quality is awful, and just the other week she had a severe allergic reaction. i have been down that GP surgeries more times this year than anyother since she was a baby. she has had dermo appointments which means she has missed school there, and has had a few 'holidays' to harefield hospital. but the % of days spent at harefield for pre-approved stays is a lot lower than her days off for allergies, eczema and asthma.

[nailpolish]

misdee, you need to talk to someone at the school

dont sit and stew about it, talk to them

be confident and bold, not ashamed and apologetic

if you are not sure and possibly think dd1 is going ot continue having so much time off maybe they could give you some work home for her

[Blandmum]

totaly agree with you np.

1. You have nothing to be ashamed about
   
2. if you ask for work at home it will put the ball firmly back in their court and it will help dd1 if she is well enough to do it.
   
   Schools have a duty to provide for children when they are sick....common to be asked for work for kids who are ill, do it all the time.

[SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair]

At our school they only notify you of unauthorosed absences, which they take to mean ones where they don't have a reason.

For once our school gets the brownie points

[prettybird]

I think LeahE's proposed response is brilliant!

Go on - use it!

[SparklyGothKat]

eemmm Misdee she has had proper holidays too.

[misdee]

yes i know mieow, but not 20% of them are holidays. the majority of the absences are due to dd1 OWn ill health not that of her dads.

[SparklyGothKat]

I know, am dreading Ds's school report.

[Reginald]

I agree with all those who have said you have nothing to feel ashamed about misdee. Leah's letter looks brilliant - as far as I can see the school could and should be offering support, or at least being sympathetic to your family's (very difficult) circumstances. Don't feel bad about this - it is NOT your fault!