Am I overreacting? (uniform)

[wangle99]

When DD started at her school last year we were told that cardigans with the summer dresses were optional and that their pullovers could be worn.

I think the pullovers look much nicer than the cardigans and DD has never had one. The majority of the girls do wear cardigans but some do wear jumpers.

The other day DD comes home and say's her friend's mum says she needs a cardigan and will get her one.

Today DD comes home wearing the cardigan (which is brand new) and her pullover squished in her bag. Her friend came in with it and said to her 'my mum says you have to wear it'.

I am livid. I can't believe that someone thinks they have to clothe my child because I obviously uncapable.

Grrrrrr

Would you be annoyed?

[Caligula]

No I'd be delighted.

I'd start priming my child that she should tell her friend's mum that she needs new shoes, wellies, hat, raincoat etc.

And as she gets older, school trip fees, guitar lessons, swimming, etc.

[sugarfree]

I would be fit to feckin' tie tbh.
How very dare she!!!!!

[LIZS]

weird woman . Will she bill you for it ?

[Pinotmum]

I would probably thank her but casually say I hadn't bought her a cardigan as I didn't really like them. I think it's a little odd but if she has money to waste so be it. Are there any other bits of uniform your dd needs - perhaps give her a list

[PrettyCandles]

Caligula.

But, seriously, I'd be livid! Absolutely non of the mum's business to intervene like that. Especially not without asking your opinion. I'd put the cardigan in a bag and give it to the teacher saying that your dd had brought it home by mistake. But that's because I'd be too timid to actually tell the other child's mum my opinion of her action, and wouldn't want to jeopardise my child's friendship.

[macwoozy]

OMG what a cheek Are you on friendly terms with the girls mum?

[frogs]

I would be mildly nonplussed. I would also be checking that my child wasn't feeding me a line and had helped herself to another child's cardigan because she actually secretly preferred cardigans but knew I wouldn't buy her one.

(Not saying in any way that your child is a liar, but this is how my mind would work wrt my own children).

Caligula

[BettySpaghetti]

Surely theres been some mix up here -no mum would go and buy another womans child something like this in this way!? Would they?

Maybe the girls have been chatting and hatched a plan to have identical cardigans "My Mum can't get into town to get one but she wondered if your mum could get it for her"......etc etc

[mazzystar]

sounds a bit suspicious in a story made up by an 8 year old kind of way to me. maybe dd and mate cooked it up between them. i'd give the mum a ring.

[Carmenere]

Definitely check out your dd's part in this as it is very weird indeed. If dd just wanted to be the same as all her friends she may have said something that made the other mum think it was ok to buy her one(cant think what that would be admittedly).

[PrettyCandles]

Hmmm, good point. You might want to have a little chat with your dd...

[wangle99]

The school is private and most parents do have money to burn lol We don't but this mum does not know our financial issues or the fact that DD has a scholarship.

We aren't particularly friendly either.

DD wouldn't lie about this, she knew my opinion of it and why she had a jumper (which incidentally WASN'T a money issue!).

I'm glad it wasn't just me. What also got me was the fact they finish for the summer on Wednesday (this week) so why give it to her for 3 days!!!! September they go back in winter uniform so she won't wear it then.

Think I may return it on Wednesday via the friend (I too am a chicken lol) and just make a run for it quickly!

[zippitippitoes]

maybe her daughter has a few and said your dd could have one..

but then i was a devious so and so when i was at school myself

my best friednd went to school in a taxi everday and her mum offered for me to go too(I used to cycle about 2.5 miles) My mum said no (she wasn't preapred to pay for a share of the taxi)..I said yes it was ok and cycled to friends house and back everyday for two terms before my Mum found out..she was livid and embarrassed!

[tamum]

When I used to help out in dd's class when she was in P1 one of her classmates used to lobby me on a weekly basis for a toy cat like dd's I almost gave in as I ran out of suitable reasons why I couldn't just buy her a present for no reason...

[poisson]

god of OCURSE your dd doesnt mean that
the mum had a spare one adn said your dd coudl haev it

[wangle99]

Well, spoke to the Mum concerned today and she did give the cardigan to DD 'because she didn't have one and needed one' (to which I pointed out they don't need cardigans at all they can wear jumpers) and as she had a spare she thought DD could have it.

Hmmmm.

[Caligula]

Gosh. How did she say it? Accusingly, like "you no-cardigan buying neglectful mother, I have to provide your dd with a cardy because you won't", sympathetically "you're obviously on your uppers, too poor to afford a cardy, so I've given your dd one", or matter of factly and efficiently "you're obviously a loony thinking your child can go through life without a cardigan so I've taken matters into my own hands and provided the poor child with one. I've also arranged guitar lessons, holidays and school entrance exams while I'm about it, as you're obviously far too flaky to sort them out yourself." I'm really intrigued.

[Marina]

Could you also tell her your villa on the Cote d'Azur burnt down wangle (thinking of poor Beety and her holiday crisis).
If this lady has spare cardigans she might also let you borrow their shack in the Luberon...

[Blu]

Hmmm. I would think something was afoot.

I managed to wangle all sorts of tings out of other parents.

Is it possible the other girl HATES her new cardigan and has 'lost' it in the vicinity of your dd?

[mysonsmummy]

did you ask her why she thought your daughter needed one. did you give it back to her.

maybe it was really hot and she thought it was easier for your dd to take a cardi off rather than a jumper. i would not send ds in a jumper as i know we wouldnt be able to take it off when he got too hot whereas a hoodie he could.

strange thing to do though - i can see why you were bit peeved!

[wangle99]

I hate to say it she did say it in the 'you obviously aren't going to buy DD one so I have given you one'. (I could have whacked her one!)

Apparently she bought 3 cardigans (second hand apparently) all meant to be the same size but one came up smaller so she gave it to my DD.

It's just her whole attitude!

Might just get drawing up that list of stuff we need for September and drop it into conversation!!!

[titchy]

But did you give the cardigan back?

[clerkKent]

DW bought half a dozen school secondhand pullovers for DS at the start of the year. He is very warm-blooded and only wore one for a few days in the winter. Wangle99, would you like one or two? Pullovers, not cardigans!

[wangle99]

I didn't give the cardigan back because I thought I'd sell it in the second hand uniform sale in September

Oooo more pullovers just what I need lol