DD1 is 9.5, and she's at an excellent, small primary school with several Outstanding Ofsteds, in a row.
She scored all Level 3s at the end of Yr 2, and is safely on target to score all Level 5s at the end of Yr 6. Infact, she scored a Level 4c in Reading at the end of Yr4, so she might even go beyond a Level 5 in Reading before Yr 6?
So, the thing is I know she is pretty bright. But she's just so lazy. She's not that bothered about doing her homework, and doesn't seem perturbed if she only half finishes it. She's not that bothered about learning her spellings, and doesn't seem to care if she gets a few wrong.
She will only read if I tell her to, and left to her own devices she'd never read for pleasure. I have tried her with all sorts of books, but she's just not that bothered. I just found out today, that's she's dropped out of the top reading group, again. This happened this time last year, so I really worked hard with her for several months, got her reading a lot more to me, and she went back up in June. Since then I eased off again, thinking she'd be okay on her own, but obviously she's flagged again.
She enjoys school, has a lot of friends and no one ever has a bad word to say about her. But she's really quite dreamy, and doesn't seem to feel the need to ensure her homework is done, and she'll often rush it, just to get it over and done with.
I had a talk with her tonight, about 'how she is clever, but 'sometimes' has a lazy brain, and she got upset, which was horrible, but I felt something had to be said.
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Anyone else have a clever, but lazy child?
Mumfedup · 05/10/2012 20:16
Yes my DS1 is very lazy! He knows it, and even quotes Michael Morpurgo (SP?) who he heard saying that years of day dreaming and looking out of the window at school was great preparation for being an author.
I can't get him to do anything but read without encouragement. He loves school though, and I accept he is not me and I can't change his whole outlook. I was quite lazy too, but always rushed through work so it was done, then sat back and drifted off. My aim is to persuade him, ever so gently, that this is a more successful approach to school.
What about the following viewpoint? 
. It's, sort of, what I did with my bright but lazy middle DC. He is now matured into a bright and NOT lazy 18 year old.
Personally, I would be wary of telling a DC that they are clever but lazy. I would address the actual standard of their work and what they can do to improve it. I don't think it is good to give a DC a 'label' as they can take it too literally and use it as a reason why they can't change their behaviour. I've known teenage boys wear the 'bright but lazy' label with pride.
Your DD still has plenty of time to get her act together. Being dreamy, careless and forgetful is very normal at that age. I would leave her to work it out for herself with just a little nudging or nagging support. Have some faith in the school, they will be gradually increasing their expectations of her and will be slowly esculating the consequences of sloppy work or forgotten homework. Resist bailing her out and try not to bang heads with her about it. Hopefully, it will all come together in time for GCSE's.
smellsabit, sounds familiar!
Apparently he's already reached his end of year target in maths. DH said "well done". I said "Maybe the target wasn't set high enough."
DS isn't top of the year. Apparently there are three stellar pupils, then a few that work really hard, then him, who is in the top ten with no effort. >
As he said last weekend "The trouble with being as clever as me is that other people seem really stupid"
I had to hold back from saying "The trouble with being a teenage boy is that you can sound really arrogant at times".
When he gets to uni (if he actually bothers to turn up for any GCSE or A level exams) I think he might have a bit of a shock.
OP, chill. DS survived primary school without ever completing any homework. I'm just glad my less academic DC are willing to put some effort in. If she is popular, then that is brilliant. 
You, and possibly they (though I can't get my lazy but bright DS to read them ), should take a look at Mindset by Carol Dweck, Bounce by Matthew Syed and there's another similar one by Geoff someone...
These books all make the point that being clever is never enough, nor is it inherent. Dweck in particular reinforces the notion of having a flexible mindset to recognise that cleverness is not innate but the result of work, even in those to whom it seems to come naturally. And so the 'I don't need to work' ethos is setting them up for a lifetime of fearing failure and lack of valuing effort. God, I wish I'd read it when I was a teenager! The Syed one is also good as it sniffs a bit at the idea of 'genius', which we all like to flatter ourselves and our kids with, but the point is, unless you're stretching yourself and getting practice in, you're never really meeting your potential.
I'm still working on my DS and trying to get him to think beyond his 'cleverness' and work on things like 'commitment', 'ethics', 'compassion', 'empathy' and 'effort'... We reward him materially when he gets good effort grades on his reports, while still being proud of his raw results. I am also a big fan of team sports for kids like this - they need to know they can't expect to do everything in life by themselves. Delighted DS has got his act together to join a school sports programme.
I see this as giving him self-management skills - being smart alone is never enough. I supervise countless students who are so bright, their expectations and perfectionism lead them to fail because they can't cope with it at higher levels. When it is easy to learn facts and be good at maths at school it is very seductive; when they're older and need higher level skills, such as craft, dedication, attention to detail, synthesis, teamwork, editing/revision skills, analysis, creativity, they sometimes struggle because it doesn't come 'easy'.
So I think as parents we also have to be careful: if we're all glittery eyed about our mini-geniuses (and I am/was too...) we risk missing the damage this story can do to them. We sometimes collude with the idea that they have some inherent property that is just 'in' them, rather than seeing them as developing, responding creatures - so when we say 'oh you're so clever!' we're reinforcing this somewhat... So praising them for their efforts, work, changes they have made, their openness, co-operation, capacity to take advice (according to Dweck) is more helpful than praising something that is seen as their unchanging personal capacity.
Haha, DS had one of those old school teachers in Y4 "school is for work, home is for riding your bike and playing with friends" so no homework was set. (Just as well as he would have point blank refused to do it)
My DS also isn't very popular. Apparently he is well liked, but he doesn't have many friends. 
I find it much easier to have a middle of the class, very popular child.
Thank you for everyone's input, it's given me some food for thought.
DD's plus points are that she is very sociable, and very popular at school, with loads of friends. All her teachers have always said she is sunny natured, easy to teach and sensible at school.
I do always praise her for her nice nature, kindness and generally sunny disposition.
I guess that when I look at the class dynamic, I feel frustrated that if she really put the work in she would stay be in the top group. All through school she has flirted with the top reading group, and been in it more often, than not. She goes into it for a few months, then drops down again, all the time.
So, I know that when I crack the whip at home she can produce the results. But, then I feel guilty for cracking the whip 
It's frustrating isn't it?
My DS was lazy at 9 and is even more lazy at 15, it looks like he will fail his GCSEs. Despite being quite bright enough to get As he will get Ds because he WILL NOT spend any time doing school work.
Despite every kind of sanction/lecture/motivation he will not change. I have even offered quite considerable financial reward for studying but he just can't be bothered.
He is and always has been, the laziest person I have ever met.
But when he wants to do something HE wants to do there are no lengths he won't go to to achieve it. He is the next Alan Sugar or will end up in prison. I'm not sure there is a middle ground.
He is incredible charming, good-looking and self-sufficient.
None of the normal rules apply to my son
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I think I would class my DS1 as lazy, and clever. Clever in the fact that he is lazy and gets away with it.
Minimum effort with anything he is not interested in, maximum time looking into anything he is in to.
Biggest barrier to improving his motivation is likely to be his memory. I don't know what the criteria is for being classed as having a photographic memory, but he is pretty dammed good. So, test comes up, no revision, aces it. He's a good example of why there should still be course work
He has SEN, including Sensory Processing Disorder, where he was described as having a 'sedentary personality'. So I think that this means that I have a medically diagnosed lazy boy!
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