Is this a completely stupid idea?

[Katymac]

DD (8)may or may not be being bullied at school

We discussed moving schools (in September) at Christmas - but under no circumstances was DD moving....she would not leave her BF

A short while ago she said she would consider moving and on Thursday she insisted that she had to move straight away

Would it be really awful to move her to a first school for the last term (after Easter) then move to the middle school in Sept

There isn't really another primary around but she feels she can't wait until Sept

What do you think?

[crazydazy]

How horrible for her

I would want to go down to school and sort anyone out who picked on my kids - I wouldn't of course.

Although saying that when I was about 7 this girl continuously picked on me and I was going home crying every day. One day my Mum came to school and held her whilst I gave her a smack.

She left me alone after that though.

[crazydazy]

Sorry thats not great advice is it Katy, not sure what I do all I would know is that I would feel so helpless for poor DD.

[SleepySuzy]

No, if it is so bad (which bullying certainly is), do it.

[Katymac]

S'OK I want to do that (so do my DH, my Dad & surprisingly my Mum)

I just feel if she really wants to move there must be a reason....I'm just not sure that moving for one term is a good idea

[starlover]

you already know what i think!
move her!
OR... take her out and home ed til then

[Katymac]

Oh Starlover I just want to do the least damaging thing

[starlover]

i know you do... it must be horrible for you, the whole situation...

but you know what else I just thought?

If she moves school now then even though it's only for one term it does give her a chance to make new friends who will then hopefully move up to the next school with her, giving her perhaps a better footing into middle school?

[getbakainyourjimjams]

Would she be going up to middle school with children from the new school?

My cousin swapped schools half way through the year because of bullying. At the time I thought it was a risky thing to do- but it worked out really well. She loved her new school from day 1 and couldn't believe how lovely all her new schoolmates were- and her confidence was at rock bottom.

Your poor dd- I'd say move her or take her out and home ed until september if you can.

[SleepySuzy]

There is absolutely nothing worse than being bullied, and you never ever forget it. Sorry, but I feel very strongly - move her....please.

[snailspace]

I don't think moving for 1 term is so bad if everyone is going to leave after the 1 term if you see what I mean. Especially under the circumstances.

[Katymac]

The first school is a feeder school for the middle school

It might actually mean she gets a place at the middle school (whereas she might not get in - if there aren't enough spaces)

So it seems a good move.....it's so extreme tho'

[starlover]

i know it seems extreme, but I personally think it is in her best interests.
Having been bullied at school myself I know just how horrible it is, and i'd have done anything to move, but I didn't have that choice

[SleepySuzy]

Please, please, please do it....

[Katymac]

I think I'll speak to the new schools head on Monday

I'm already booked to speak to the Family Support Worker on Monday morning

I feel so useless and I'm scared of making the wrong choice

[starlover]

what's the worst that could happen though?

if she is being bullied, or her teacher is just being a complete arse (or both) then how can a move be any worse?

[Katymac]

If it's a home based problem then moving her will make everything worse

[Twinkie1]

Sorry to put a different spin on things but what if she is bullied at the next school and you move her and then the next and the next - shouldn't the bullying be dealt with at the school she is at (sorry am not a regular anymore so don;t know the whole of the story!!)

She seems to have changed her mind a lot and say you move her away from her BF and anyone else she knows and she is unhappy is she going to expect you to fix things and move her again??

[starlover]

from what i've read on here it's not a home-based problem. seriously... what makes you think it might be?

[Katymac]

Twinkie that is the thing I have been worried about

We have been trying to tackle the problem with the school for over a year now. Apparently I'm too soft on her and I let her get away with things But she has gone from being at the top of the class to barely managing, she weeps at all times of the day, it's getting so that I have to force here to school

But the school say it is because she wants to stay at home with me (I am a childminder)

So far I have considered giving up my job or even moving house (to a more Multicultural area)

[SleepySuzy]

Why a more multicultural area?

[Katymac]

We are in a very rural area and DD is the only mixed race child....I think the other children are using that as a hook to hang all there bullying from (if she is being bullied)

[SleepySuzy]

I see. I still say move her, but only speaking from personal experience of being bullied as a child.

[Katymac]

I was bullied too - which makes me even more confused - what if I am imposing my fears on to her

[starlover]

what would you say to someone else who was posting this on here?

I honestly do not think this is a home based problem... have you ever let her stay at home when she has asked to?
Also, why would she insist on moving schools?

[SleepySuzy]

What does your gut instinct tell you to do?