Could all of DD's problems be due to......

[Katymac]

....a personality conflict with her form teacher?

Is this a possibility?

Could it have caused all the problems that we have been having?

Is it possible that the teacher would not have recognised this as the problem? Surely he would have noticed?

If it is - what the hell do I do now?

[Katymac]

I thought it seemed a bit farfetched

[Sparklemagic]

Katymac, I think it is possible. I think that sometimes it's difficult for the teacher to recognise because it is difficult for people to think that they might be part of the problem, no-one wants to recognise that about themselves.

I moved my DS to a different pre-school because of precisely this issue and have never regretted it for an instant, he has blossomed away from the wicked witch! She used to meet me at the door, looking as if she was sucking a lemon and proceed to tell me how my son was extremely sensitive, the most sensitive child she'd ever come across in all her years, and also he was too controlling and tried to tell her what to do, and also he didn't do anything, and also he hadn't started to play with other children yet which all the children she'd ever worked with had done by two years old and so on and so on......you get the picture. I would say that all his difficulties stemmed from the way this teacher dealt with him.

He ws only there a few weeks before I moved him and now he is perfectly happy and the pre-school staff are kind and nurturing toward him. Her approach was stern faced and unimaginative which simply didn't suit my DS.

Don't know if this is anything akin to your experience. Is there anything you can do? could your DD go to another class or is this not posible? What sort of problems has she been having?

[Katymac]

She has been bed wetting since Mar 05....he started teaching her in Feb 05

We have been blaming bullying - but now I'm not so sure

She was so bright in R & Yr1 but from Yr2 she has barely coped and her work is just adequate.

It's all so confusing

There isn't another class and she would be with him until Jul 07

[cutekids]

I do think that a teacher/pupil personality clash can cause children to "switch off" from learning etc. my dd1 (now in yr3) was fine in reception and nursery but when she got her yr1 teacher, she started to dislike school immensely.unfortunately for my daughter, this teacher changed years and ended up being her teacher in yr 2 aswell. there seemed to be light at the end of the tunnel when this teacher went on maternity leave, however, cos suddenly her new teacher seemed to turn her around.she was very positive again. happy to go to school and he was really happy with her too.then,teacher came back and all my daughter's fears about school came back again.however, she's in yr 3 now and - although she finds her teacher quite strict - at least this year she's recognized for the things she is good at rather than the other way round. her younger brother and sister both had completely different teachers with nice attitudes and are really happy in school.

[Sparklemagic]

oh katy, this must have been a stressful time for you....I definitely think it's a possibility, though what does she say? Does she like him? Has she ever had any obvious problems with him?

I think it's great to have male infant teachers but I do think they have to be particularly nurturing otherwise some children can gt wary of them - is your DD a timid type usually?

Have the school been supportive in sorting the bullying out - how has he been with this?

[Katymac]

She likes him - & have had no problems (well not obvious ones)

She isn't really timid (went into a new dance class without a qualm.....but struggles in a holiday club when they put two groups of 6 together?)

The Bulying, just isn't happening - it's a figment of my imagination

[Sparklemagic]

blimey, not many clues to go on here! So if she says she likes him and doesn't show any dread or nervousness of going to school I don't know what to think!

Do you have a gut feeling about whether it is him? Have you had advice from Gp or anyone regarding the bedwetting? Hs anything major happened in her life / your life?

[Katymac]

Sorry - she doesn't want to go to school (but has never blamed it on him)

She withdraws in circle time, avoids break (stays in the library) & lunchtime

She's see school nurse & enuresis clinic (who say it's an emotional problem) - she is seeing a family support worker tomorrow (which is why I'm a bit on edge tonite)

There doesn't seem to be anything major in our home life (tho' the teacher blames it all on me being a childminder)

[Sparklemagic]

good luck with the family support worker Katy I'm sure it will be OK. Best thing to do is get to bed and not worry about it. Although you say 'she is seeing a family support worker' the title says it all - family support worker; make sure you get to talk to them and get their help, not just your DD.

If it was me and there was this problem with no standout cause, do you know what I'd do? I'd use the Family Support Worker to be a pair of independent 'eyes', and say to her what you've said on here and ask her if she can please talk to the family as well as DD to see if an outsider can see more clearly why this might be.

Just a thought, are you reluctant to believe it's anything to do with your being a childminder? It does sound a bit far fetched but....when did you start it? could she be not coping with the fact your time is taken up with other children when she is at school? Just shots in the dark, I don't know!

[Katymac]

I started minding in April 03

I think you're right I need to go to bed - hopefully the lady tomorrow will start to find out what the problem is - that's what she's there for after all

[Sparklemagic]

yup. must get off too.