Is Abingdon Prep regarded as 'posh'?

[wheresthesunshine]

Also The Manor too please.
Are they full of coffee morning mums driving 4x4's?

[usualsuspect]

Any 'Prep' sounds posh to me.

[EssentialFattyAcid]

Well all private schools are "posh" surely?

[Colleger]

No not posh considering it has competitors such as Cothill, Summerfields, Dragon close by!

[wheresthesunshine]

Went round Dragon and didn't get 'the feeling' there. Felt a bit uncomfortable tbh.
Liked Abingdon - SEEMED more friendly with boys running around everywhere.
Manor seemed a bit 'naice', but loved it otherwise.
Cokethorpe - just HUGE place.
Def prefered the feel of the smaller schools, even if they are not co-ed.
Hope I haven't offended anyone here - just my first opinions of the places.
ANY info gratefully received.

[acebaby]

I dont have direct experience of Abingdon Prep (DS goes to a nearby prep and a couple of friends send their DCs there). It is not considered 'posh' when compared with the big boarding preps. However it probably has got a fair few rich SAHMs driving 4x4s. On the other hand, the village schools round here have their share of this type of family, and I have found - with the exception of the odd loon - that the Mums at DS's school are pleasant enough (even the really posh ones).

[EssentialFattyAcid]

Why are you asking though - do you think "posh" is a good or bad thing, how would it affect your choice of school?

[wheresthesunshine]

I want to feel comfortable with the other families. For example, there are schools where many people take hampers, champagne, even candlesticks along to sports day. I would feel with that.

Both me and dh work full time, and we don't go skiing or have fancy holidays abroad.

Posh to me (in relation to schools) means SAHM driving 4x4, and discussing tennis coach or next holiday. I would like to have something in common with the other families.

There seems to be so many schools in and around Oxford, so have plenty of choice. POSHness is just one factor. I want my dc to be comfortable at school.

[acebaby]

I work full time, can't afford holidays and drive a shabby, neglected car. Honestly, there are people like us in any of the day prep schools, intermingled with seriously rich and/or posh families. It is surprisingly diverse. Personally, I have never felt uncomfortable. Certainly, no one has made ds1 feel uncomfortable.

[wheresthesunshine]

Thats good to hear. Am giving up on the local state education and a bit nervous about fitting in.

[faintpinkline]

LOL we're not in Oxford but sounds like you'd love DD's school The majority of mums work, its picnic rugs and cheese sandwich on sports day and a vast mixture of cars (I don't even have a car but use the bus). There are some very well off parents but they are amazingly down to earth for the most part

[BackforGood]

Seriously?
If it has the word 'prep' in it's name, then it's a private school, which a lot of the population would then consider to be 'posh'.

Didn't realise there were grades of poshness

[acebaby]

In fact I know someone just like me (works in the same place), whose boy is in year 5/6 at Abingdon prep. She is very happy with the school.

It is a big step for lots of reasons - but don't let worries about fitting in with other families put you off. PM me if you want to discuss private school options in the South Oxon area in more detail.

[lson]

NO, NO and NO. 'Prep' or Preparatory does not mean posh. Yes of course there are the very traditional prep schools that may still be considered posh. But most aren't and Abingdon Prep is certainly not. It is a lovely school where pupils, parents and teachers work and get on in harmony. In this case all Prep means is that is is a independent school that gets very good results. People who go to Abingdon prep are not posh they are normal.

[KitKatGirl1]

And being a SAHM with a 4 x 4 most certainly doesn't mean posh to most people I know. It means you're lucky enough to have a partner who earns ok money and you're very, very careful with that money so that you can stay at home whilst your children are little. And you live in the countryside with mud and bad roads.

[Rindercella]

" It means you're lucky enough to have a partner who earns ok money" Arf is my first comment. Are you serious KitKatGirl, or have I just been transported back to the 1950s?!

My second comment is, what exactly is wrong with a "coffee morning mum driving a 4x4"? We're all human you know (even those not 'lucky' enough to have a partner who earns ok money). But I would never take candlesticks to a sports day!

My third comment is, of course 'poshness' is all relative. One person's poshness is another's normality. One person's normality is another's hell.

At DD's school (not Abingdon Prep) the parents are a mixture of 'normal', posh, rich and famous. But we're mostly all friendly towards each other and the overriding factor for me in choosing the school was the feel of a place....on the taster day, a very lovely women took time out to show me where to go, etc. I am still friendly with her now

[acebaby]

Nothing at all wrong with being a "coffee morning mum driving a 4x4". And nothing wrong with being "posh" (however you define it!) What I was trying to get across is that there is a diversity of parents at most prep schools - and all the ones I've come across in the DCs' school: working, 4x4 driving, non-4x4 driving, stay at home, rich, less rich etc - have been perfectly pleasant. I have become good friends with a few and get on with the rest. So it is pretty much like any school gate situation really.

[Honestyisbest]

Not sure if you should be looking at the teachers, children's engagement with learning, chatting to the head teacher etc rather than looking at the cars in the car park!
I agree with above that many of the state village schools in Oxon/Bucks, such as the one near my house, are chock full of people driving Chelsea tractors, with lovely homes who have fabulous holidays darling!
We took kids to an Oxford prep school from a village state school and there was actually a real mix and many more working parents and far less extravagant holidays all round. There are some uber rich, but that doesn't necessarily mean posh.
All that said I drive a four by four and love it and also have coffee with friends from time to time. There is nothing wrong with that.
Lots of luck there are some fab schools in Oxon so you have lots of choice.

[KitKatGirl1]

OK, rindercella I missed a bit off my sentence that was meant to say 'if you want to stay at home'. That's what modern, twenty-first century living (or feminism) should be about, surely: choice?

If you're a SAHM or SAHD (there are a few SAHDs in the very small school my son attended for primary) surely it's exactly because the other partner earns a reasonable/just enough salary? (ie. none of the SAHM/Ds I know are living off the state but they're not 'posh'/wealthy either; just normal families who choose to live on one income for 6-7 years)...

[KitKatGirl1]

OK, that still doesn't sound right. I meant: if you, as a family, want to have one of you at home whilst your children are small and you can afford to do so on one salary (whoever's that is) I think that makes you lucky or careful and probably both. And not posh. Does that sound better?

[EBDTeacher]

Love the term Chelsea Tractor Honesty Arf

[Honestyisbest]

EBD yes me too!
I do actually need four wheel drive.....well occasionally.

[teacherwith2kids]

If 4 x 4, and being a SAHM, make you posh, then there's a very interesting 'posh' subgroup at the (rural village, challenging intake) school I teach at. Not one that would go within a million miles of a prep school, either!

[DisorderlyNights]

As others have said, there are "posher" schools in Oxon than Josca's/AP and the Manor.
Both have a mix of aristocracy, wealthy farmers, Dad/Mum commutes to City, 2 working patents to scrape together the fees, Grandparents paying.
Both are very friendly schools, but quite different, despite their links.

[SkippyYourFriendEverTrue]

" being a SAHM with a 4 x 4 ... means ... you live in the countryside with mud and bad roads"

LOL
ROFL
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaahahha

Funniest thing I've heard all day.