Scratches on DS1's face - should I make a fuss?

[Meanoldmummy]

I've just picked up DS1 from nursery and he has scratches on his face. It's the first time i've left him there for the whole session, as he only started on Tuesday. I asked the teacher in charge of his group (trainee, very young,
but very nice) whether anyone knew how they happened and she said "err,
no..he probably did them when he was playing outside". Is this acceptable?
I know I may be overreacting but I'm quite upset. I was already a bit
concerned because they seem very "wet" about bad behaviour, and if the
children don't obey a direct command they give up and let them have their
way. But he's only been there three days so I don't feel I can kick up a
fuss. Any thoughts?

[katylou25]

When i used to run room in a nursery - all incidents and injuries such as this were recorder, explained to parent on collection - how happened etc- obv if caused by another child no names mentioned! - and parent signed form to say it had been explained. If an accident then so be it - they happen - but if deliberate other child dealt with dependeant on age - told why its not nice, perhaps made to sit and miss a minute of activity etc. I would be concerned that they didn't know why it happened and didnt mention it to you without you having to ask.

[paolosgirl]

I'd agree with Katy. Both of mine have been at private and state nurseries, and I've always been informed of any injury, regardless of severity.

If you have concerns after day 3, then I'd be tempted to say go with your gut instinct. It's hard though if you've just settled him - would you want to move him, or would you prefer to take a 'wait and see approach'?

[Meanoldmummy]

I don't really know, I've never done any of this before. I've got very mixed feelings about sending him at all because I've never left him anywhere before - don't do babysitters or anything like that - and his own behaviour in the first couple of days has been quite rocky (not aggression, just being argumentative and refusing to sit down, be quiet etc). They're not gashes, just scratches, but I'm a bit taken aback that it wasn't taken seriously when I mentioned it and that she didn't know how it happened.

[paolosgirl]

How would you feel about speaking to the manager and saying that you were very concerned that no-one seemed to know what happened, that you know that they were minor scratches and that they can't be watching every child all of the time, but could she tell you what their policies of informing the parents and recording the incident are when a child has obvious injuries?

That way you're not criticising them directly (tempting though it may be ), but just giving them a chance to explain their procedures and possibly where it went wrong this time.

[Meanoldmummy]

It sounds like a good idea...but there isn't a manager as such, it's a new LEA "nursery school", they're all still finding their feet and there doesn't seem to be anyone in overall control. It's interesting that the consensus seems to be that I am not totally overreacting though and that I should try and find out what the procedure is for reporting incidents to parents. Thanks

[paolosgirl]

I hope you get this resolved - good luck.

[lunavix]

I'm having this worry with a preschool. We're looking at two in the area, and went to see the first yesterday. It's meant to be the best, the newest, my friends children go there.

During the visit, there were 3 workers in the playground (a disused tennis court) 3 people who looked like parents ?? we weren't told who they were and there was only 5 toys out. And about 25 kids. Ds (21 months) started playing and three boys started bullying him - pulling him around by his hood, throwing toys at him, grabbing him - and one person was watching them occasionally saying 'don't do that xxxxx' but doing nothing about it. We gave them the benefit of the doubt for an hour, 30 minutes was outside but we kept having to watch ds and remove him when he got agitated.

I asked a worker who monitored the children, she said each key worker was responsible for 'checking up'on their kids. Interesting, as my friends dd's key worker doesn't work the days that the dd goes to preschool

The whole thing was chaotic, and for a new preschool the lack of toys or inspiring play area was shocking. I'm hoping we move soon, as if that's the best in the area I'm worried.

Sorry went off topic! Basically, if we hadn't intervened ds would have definately been at least scratched if not injured by the end of it. I'd talk to them, and tell them they need to pull their finger out, basically, and start actually monitoring the kids.

[Tyakit]

How bad are the scratches?

I had a similar thing happen not long after DD first started at nursery but it was handled very differently as the scratches were caused by another child. I was called at home and told that DD had been scratched on the face by another child. Glad they did this or I would have been v shocked on picking her up as she had 3 or 4 nasty fingernail scratches on each cheek. Nursery staff explained that the children had been lining up at the door to go outside to play when boy x had pushed DD out of the line roughly and when she pushed back (ahem, no wilting violet, my DD) he pushed her again and grabbed her at her face with both hands, scratching face her before staff could separate them. Incident was documented in accident book, which I had to sign and I was told that the boys parents had been called and that the nursery manager was going to discuss the incident with them as there had been a few instances of aggresive behaviour from this child recently. Nursery also stated that they would ensure that DD and boy x were kept apart for a few days. So, I was shocked and upset by the injuries to DD which took a v long time fade completely but felt that nursery handled it well and I have continued to be confident in their care of DD.

Sorry for length of this! If I were you I would want to know how it happened. They should know how your DS got these scratches.

[Meanoldmummy]

Tyakit - the scratches aren't as bad as your DD's by the sound of it. They weren't actually bleeding but are visible raised red lines. They haven't faded now, but I would expect them to be pink tomorrow and hopefully gone on Saturday. IYKWIM. I could be totally overreacting. If it wasn't part of a wider concern about the fact that they all seem "less than proactive" on the behaviour front....... I'm not sure whether I'm being reasonable really.

[Tyakit]

Glad to hear that your DS's scratches are not too serious. You are obviously still concerned about the nursery's lack of control and policies and procedures though. If you are concerned, then I don't think you are over-reacting. There must be a senior member of staff that is in charge that you can talk to. I would be worried if there is no proper staff structure in place.

[my3kids]

hi i agree...maybe talking to the person who runs the center will put your mind at ease i know that they are suppose to report every incident in a book and let you know when u pick your little one up...this is not acceptible i would be asking why and how...its a little allarming no one knows what happened...hope you get some answers

[Kathlean]

My DS was scratched at nursery, I say scratched they were actually gouges. A row of four across his face, you could see the deeper part in his face where the nails had initially gone in getting shallower as they went across his face. He now 2 years later still has very faint scars where the scratches started.

Nursery teachers didn't see what happened and said he must have done it himself as he wasn't particularly upset! DS is one of those who will stand and look as you as if to say why did you do that when he is hit or pushed by aonther child.

He told me at home that X had done it. Nothing happened again so I left it as a one off.