mumsnet wisdom please

[Beetrootfultoyourself]

Ds3 has been ahving problems as yo may know. Is a chorister so works long hours. and has prep.

His work as been sliding, messy, he is becoming cocky in class.

Would a reward system work for him? He is 8?

[Blandmum]

Yes. Rewards system worked with my Y9 (13 year old) class from hell last year! I'm sure it will work with the mini beet.

They all go through these phases Beetroot, don't beat yourself up.

[Beetrootfultoyourself]

what shoudl i do MB? rewards for neat work? not being cheeky? how should I work it?

[Beetrootfultoyourself]

.

[fullmoonfiend]

My 8-yr-old is on a marble jar system, started before summer hols! Every day that I have some tangible proof of good work (ie house point/team point awareded, or positive comment in his homework and targets book, he gets a marble. 10 marbles at the moment = pack of shoot out cards . Or he can save up marbles for bigger treat. One weekend, he decided 20 marbles should equal a whole pound spent on sweeties! (I was killing myself laughing, as I had been going to suggest a new DVD!)
He's going through a particularly lovely stage this week. I think tiredness, boredom, peer pressures, or general low-level anxiety about soemthing at school can really affect behaviour and performance at this age?

[WideWebWitch]

A star chart is working atm for my 8yo and I thought we were past that, i.e. he would be too old for it but no, he likes it. Ds gets a football sticker for each morning with good behaviour, afternoon and bedtime ditto plus another for not waking up at night (we've had 3 weeks of nightime visitations and extreme stroppiness).

[SenoraPostrophe]

oh bless him. that sounds a lot for his age.

I wonder if just letting him get too cocky for his own good so he has to suffer the natural consequences (bad marks at end of term and/or missing some fun activities to catch up) might not work as well as, if not better than a reward system? just a thought?

[Blandmum]

It has to be something measurable....so no demerits from staff for a week? Or a day?

[Beetrootfultoyourself]

the problem with that appoarch senora is that he sufffers in the long run and it will all get too much. I need to teach him how to cope

Right have toldhim about the marbles. Need to ask the teadher to let meknow how he is doing i think?

[Beetrootfultoyourself]

a silver star = 1 marble
a gold star = 3 marbles
a merit = 10.

[Blandmum]

I'm sure teachers ill be delighted to help! I know I am when parents are supportive!

[fullmoonfiend]

Good luck Beety! I felt a bit of a prat having to ask ds's teacher if he had 'earned' a marble each day but she thought it was a great idea. After a fortnight he had improved at school (he was very cheeky) and so me and his teacher agreed that she would only tell me if he didn't deserve a marble that day IYSWIM. Gradually, when good behaviour became the norm, I used marbles for things like keeping room tidy, putting dirty clothes in laundry bin etc. He still is enthusiastic about it, esp when he has some input into the scheme.

[Beetrootfultoyourself]

FMF, that sounds great. I am looking forward to seeing some improvement and hopefully get teacher off ds3 back

[Littlefish]

We use a system at school with older children (yr 3 upwards) where they allocate themselves a number of points each day (out of 10) based on their own view of their behaviour, effort in work, attitude to others etc. Those on the scheme have a small book which they write in each day with the number of points and a very short explanation. At the end of the week the book goes home to be shared with parents. The child, parents and teacher have a pre-agreed level of points, above which the child will get some kind of treat at home.

It encourages the children to become more aware of their own behaviour and to start to take responsiblity for it, and the effect it has on others.

[Beetroot]

that is intersting littlefish.

ds is doing very well so far. has had soo many gold stars and silver stars in th elast two days.But not from his main teacher. aminly for maths

[Littlefish]

Beety - it's interesting that his stars have not come from his main teacher. Is there anything ds can tell you about the difference in their teaching - ie. why does he seem to be achieving/behaving in one and not the other. Sounds more like a problem with the teacher than the pupil!

I'm in a similiar position at the moment with my jobshare partner. We have a child who behaves brilliantly for me, works hard and listens well, but is the absolute opposite on her days. She and I have very different teaching styles and ways of motivating the children. I am very positive and she tends to shout .

Would it be possible for his nice maths teacher to talk to him about his behaviour with his main teacher? The old "I'm disappointed to hear that you're not working as well for other teachers as you are for me....I've been so pleased with everything you've done and I know x would be too etc" sometimes helps.

[Littlefish]

Or, more importantly, for his nice maths teacher to talk to his main teacher about how great your ds is in maths lessons!

[Beetroot]

Litlefish, I shall leave it for a week or so. See what happens. I shall see his main teacher in the playground on Monday.

I spoke to his Maths teacher today and she was singing his praises.

The ohter teacher is known for being an old bag...it would be great for ds3 to be doing well for everyone apart form her becasue perhaps it fwill then come down to her and her alone.

YOu sound a great teacher. I do beleive in children being motivated rather than shouted at. (note to slef stop shouting)

[Littlefish]

Hope things improve Beety. Let me know how you get on.