15 year old refusing to go to school, need info on all his options!

[fastasleep]

Ack I've just sat here for an hour and 11 minutes before realising why I cam on in the first place!

My mum's friend's son is 15 and a half, he's been out of mainstream school for about a year and I think he's terrified of going back... the reason I've been called in, to quote my mother is because 'well you're an expert at being a drop-out and having no qualifications...love' (thanks mum)

His mum wants him to go back to school and be behind a year, but to be honest I think he's so scared of being in school at all that there's no chance he'd actually do this! You know when you don't do something that's a bit unpleasent for a while and then the thought of it becomes scarier and scarier... anyway I just need info on all the paths he could go down; I need to know whether sending him to college for GCSE's would be free or not, and what it costs etc etc to be home-schooled, and whether he stands any chance of getting into a 6th form (as for some reason that's what he wants to do!)... he wants to go to university apparently... but they can't even get him out of bed at the moment!

Any help would be appreciated!

(I do hope my mum isn't meddling where she shouldn't be! But I may as well give her the correct facts!)

[Aloha]

Yes, he could go to a sixth form college. Often that's a much better environment than school for teenagers. What on earth are the education dept doing? They should be helping him get back into education.

[fastasleep]

Well they're sending him to one of the places I got sent to (don't ask! My mother's a nutcase, long story) which is a 're-integration centre' where they teach you sweet FA and refuse to enter you into any GCSE above the foundation level, I decided I was rather too intelligent for foundation level English and Maths and nothing more and decided not to go back which I think he's doing as well!

[mummytosteven]

AFAIK you can do GCSE retakes at 6th Form college, so don't see why he shouldn't be able to do GCSE's free of charge at 6th Form college or Further Education College.

[fastasleep]

Well that would cheer him up

[PeachyClair]

I failed all my GCSE's (bar a couple whcich were no use) first time around, and went to a sixth form to do different ones: I am now at Uni. There's no such thing as only chances and Sixth form suits some people so much better. It might be exactly what he needs. Environment does depend on the college, but often they really are more suited to more 'mature' teenagers anyway.

[Blandmum]

The things that your firnd and child need to think about are as follows

Why did he dislike school in the first place? Going into the sixth form is going to be, to a degree, more of the same, if he didn't like 11-16, what is it that he thinks sixth form will be like? Does he really want to work in the sixth form or is it the social side of things? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I have met kids who have no interest in working in the sixth form, they just want to doss around with their mates. Schools will be wary of taking him on unless he can prove that he is motivated to work.

If he disliked the 'formal' side of scoool...home work etc then he might be better looking inot vocational education course in a local collage....training 'one the job'.

He might be better looking at things like GNVQs (some of which can give you 4 GCSEs 'worth IYSWIM)

Why has he been out of school? If he has been suspended the school will be unlikely to take him back into the sixth form. If he can prove that he has changed, then it is a different thing. however education post 16 is not an absolute 'right'

He sould be supported in education when he is outside of school btw....either by provision of tutors, home educating of the pupil referal unit.

[fastasleep]

He was bullied, he's known as one of those 'odd' kids... TBH I don't think he has any mates to doss around with ... I think the social side of school is probably what's scaring him... he wasn't suspended, just decided not to go due to the bullying, which is why I don't think 6th form will help as yes it will be just the same as school... I think maybe he thinks that kids magically become more mature at 16! As long as I have the facts about the places he can go though I think it's up to him and his parents to decide, as long as he knows to be perfectly honest, which I'm not sure he does... ack I'm going to end up having one of those cringe worthy 'talks' with him!

[Blandmum]

Then he and his mum need to talk to the school about what they could do to support and reintegrate him into school, possibly starting on a half time basis? He will be able to do 'resits' realise that he hasn't done them this year IYSWIM, in the lower sixth, then do his AS levels....if he wants he could then leave, or he could continue and do three years in the sixth...he may well find this more palitable than resitting year 11. However I would expect that he would haveto show the school he was motivated and got up in the morning

The school needs to address the bullying issue. Has he being given no support at home?

[fastasleep]

He's been sent to the re-integration centre I got sent to (again don't ask!!) from experience I know that in that area they fail the kids who don't just want to doss around and do nothing miserably... I got sent in for half days... and actually hid in the toilets/library reading my book for about 3 months and no one noticed

[Blandmum]

In which case it might be helpful to talk to the school directly, to see if they can put in a re-integration plan.

The other way for him to do it is via night school. That way his interaction with the class would be limited, reducing the chances of bullying etc, and he would be in with more motivated, mature students of all ages (IYSWIM)

You are right, school does not change magically in the sixth form

[fastasleep]

Thanks MB, you're very helpful! I'll probably have that cringe worthy chat with him in the next few days, make sure he's going to choose an option he will actually do