Please help me to help this 15 year old girl

[yULeYSEES]

To cut a long story short,a friend of mine is living on a rough estate. It's the sort of place where you're weird if you don't swear (friend doesn't) and everyone walks in and out of each others houses.

Anyway, there's this 'friend' of my mate who treats her 15 year old daughter worse than anything I've seen The abuse is terrible. I've only met the girl 3 times but when you sit and talk to her she's great - in her mum's company she is very strange and childish. Her mum swears at her and calls her the most awful things. Mum is convinced the girl had adhd but to be honest it's the way she's been treated. She may have something but I feel she could be ok in the right enviroment.

The girl isn't in school and when I spoke to her about it or going to college she said 'they won't let her' Which I took to mean the eductation authority? She said she needs to be educated before she goes so I gently explained there are courses etc.. she could go on. When I asked her what she'd like to do she said nothing. When I listed a few things her eyes lit up at childcare and she said she'd love to do that.

Sadly, her mum definitely will not encourage this. She wants to keep her right down so she can bully her. She's an appaling person (mum)

If anyone can advise me on helping this girl I'd be most grateful. I thought of getting some info and giving it to her through my friend?

[yULeYSEES]

bump

[BudaBabe]

Can't offer any advice I'm afraid. It sounds horrendous. Good on you for taking such an interest.

[yULeYSEES]

Cheers BB, it's heartbreaking I feel she's been let down by more than just her mum though

[Gem754]

Can you get her to a connextions office? They give great advice about all asects of life to young people. They'd probably be able to help.

[yULeYSEES]

thanks I'll look into it Gem. It won't be easy as her self esteem is as low as it gets Maybe I'll get them to send her some information?

[yULeYSEES]

Anyone else got ideas?

[dexter]

Connexions is a good idea. Also, the school she should be at SHOULD have an Education Welfare Officer. It's worth talking to them (via local education authority if you're not sure which school) because the school will be aware that she's not attending - or whatever the situation is. Depending on the area, there may well be local projects set up that provide education / college / vocational timetables for kids that can't sustain mainstream for whatever reason. The Education Welfare Service also have the legal right to prosecute a parent for not ensuring their child attends school - I know this is not likely to make the girl's situation better but mum may be more agreeable to her daughter doing something if the alternative is a prosecution for mum? Well done for taking an interest but I hope you don't get too stressed about it - you can't be her parent!

[saadia]

Just wanted to say what a sad situation. Would it be worth having a word with the mum and suggesting you think daughter would be good at childcare, or what about getting the girl to babysit for your kids - don't leave her with them but just ask if she could help out and perhaps you could encourage her that way.

[PocketTasha]

Dexter is right, by law this shouldn't be happening. It's hard to get involved with out getting yourself into trouble. especially if mum is a bully. You can call social services for advice. and you won't have to give details. just speak on "what if's". I wish you lots of luck. Too many young people in trouble don't even know it, so can't ask for help. It's sounds like it may be a tough road, but this girl needs you. Good luck again.

[yULeYSEES]

thanks everyone. Her mum would probably say something like "that f ing thick s... won't be able to go to college" and that's on a good day Her mum is vile vile vile

I'll try to get up to my friend's house next week and see if I can gently encourage her as she's always popping in there. I'll also ask friend to help.

[kcemum]

yULeYSEES, she's a very lucky girl to have somebody like you to take an interest in her welfare.
It would be a good idea to get in touch with the education Welfare Officer to see if they are aware of the situation and what they are doing to help her.

I just feel so angry when parents belittle their children, it's just not on.

[yULeYSEES]

Thanks kcemum. It's so sad but hopefully I'll eventually be able to help her.