How do i deal with this?

[mrsdil]

My ds has started reception class this year and two weeks ago i had a parent approach me in the playground saying that the teacher had had a word with her about her son and mine fighting. As i work he goes to the after school club and therefore i dont see the teacher in the evenings and i explained that was probably why the teacher hadnt yet mentioned this to me. The parent must have been upset that i was unaware of it and mentioned it to the teacher as when i went to collect ds one day the teacher had waited late and said " i believe you have been speaking to so and sos mother"....ok so i found all this a bit odd as i thought the teacher had caused the other parent some upset by mentioning names which led to her approaching me...are teachers allowed to do this?? I would think she would treat it confidentially so that the matter could be dealt with properly.

Today i had a letter in my sons bag mentioning him fighting with this other boy with knives from the home corner and that i should talk to him about it as weapons are not allowed in school....although she did state that he was the one to walk away (which i keep telling him to do)

Sorry to ramble but am i overreacting or is she making a bigger issue out of it? My ds has said this other boy is always in the headmasters office for misbehaving...although my son is definately no angel!

I have spoken to a few other parents who have said she has had a word with them for their children being too boistrous too!

Any advice what i should do? I have spoken to my ds numerous times and he understands that it is wrong to fight but how can i stop an argument between two children when i am not there?

[nell12]

go and see the teacher and express your worries? Hopefully she will say that she is coming down hard on all bad behaviour at the beginning of term so that the children know where their boundaries lie.
If the teacher knows she has your support then the situation may get easier for you and ds

[titchy]

So who bought the knives into school then?

[coppertop]

IME teachers would not usually tell you the name of the other child(ren) involved. It may be that the teacher had said to the other mother "Your son was fighting with another child" and the boy himself has told his mother that the other child was your son IYSWIM.

I'd be worried about where the knives came from tbh.

[mrsdil]

Thanks for your replies.

The knives were the play ones from the home corner/play kitchen...i am assuming they were role playing something out of star wars etc as i have seen a lot of the children pretending to have light sabers in the playground.

The teacher told me the other boys name in the letter and also when his mother approached me she had said she was shocked when the teacher mentioned it was my ds as her ds had said they were best friends and hadnt mentioned any arguments between them.

like mentioned i guess she is just trying to start as she means to go on and stop bad behaviour before it starts.

[titchy]

So why the f* do they so no knives in school then provide them in theplay corner?????