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Education

crying when i leave him.

18 replies

edgetop · 05/10/2005 09:58

my ds started reception 4 weeks ago,he is with other children he went to playgroup with, also he has made new friends he is really enjoying it he talks non stop about it at home.he likes his teachers,so no problems.
on a morning i have to have him peeled off me he crys i get upset but keep it inside so he cant see me get upset.
should i ask the teacher if they will take him from me when we first go in,i dont like asking as i know they have other children to see to ,i notice not maney of them cry so they could maybe just get him out of this phase.

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LIZS · 05/10/2005 10:05

Our teacher is very good at just leading dd off in a very calm , matter of fact manner to the carpet or whatever activity is set up. I hardly even get a backward glance. She has previously been very clingy and has once had to be peeled off me at school. I'm sure if you asked the teacher to help a few times he'd start to feel more comfortable and do it more unprompted. Now most of the children settle quickly she'd have more time to do so. I also found it helped to tell dd that it was ok to miss me and I'd miss him.

Lonelywitch · 05/10/2005 10:09

I definitely think the teacher or her assistant should gently but firmly lead your child away from you. Mine were never ones to cry, but occasionally they had their moments and I used to find it very difficult to walk away. Even though they weren't crying, I used to think me going would start them off. I think you need to ask the tercher if she or another adult could help you out here. The fact that other children don't have this problem just means that this part of the day is when the teacher could be focussing a bit more on your son.

emmatom · 05/10/2005 10:14

Do ask the teacher to do that. Reassure your child you will be back later and tell a porky pie that you are just going to be at home whilst he is at school.

Apparently if your child can picture you in familiar situations when they're worried, it helps them a lot.

Give a great big hug, tell him to have a nice day and you'll pick him up later and hand him over.

TheRtHonBaronessEnidOBE · 05/10/2005 10:16

it helps not to carry them in

to make them walk in and take them straight to a teacher who (if they are helpful) will immedietly get them involved in an activity

edgetop · 05/10/2005 10:37

he is fine when he gets up on a morning, also walking down to school he is happy ,even when he gets in the class & see his friends,its the leaving,this morning i was very matter of fact told him to have i good day kissed him & left,just got through the door & he ran out after me closely followed by a teacther,im shoure its for the attention,but it hurts me like mad.i just want to see a happy boy when i leave him.

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Lonelywitch · 05/10/2005 10:39

Could you try telling him that? Is it so wrong to say to him, "Mummy wants to see a happy face when I go tomorrow because I know you love school."

edgetop · 05/10/2005 12:00

ihave said all those kind of things to him ,he usually says he wont cry,on monday i told him he could have a surprise if he didnt cry all week it worked yesterday,but back to crying this morning.

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WigWamBam · 05/10/2005 12:10

There's a little boy in my dd's Reception class who cries when his mum leaves him. He cries a bit during the day too because he misses her, although he says he likes school and doesn't want to stop going.

After the first couple of weeks, the teacher took him from his mum - firstly she had to carry him in because he kept trying to run away, but now he walks with her. The teacher suggested that his mum waits in the playground until they are inside, so he can see that she's there and can give her a final wave and blow her a kiss as they go in through the door. She has also suggested that he takes a photograph to school of him and his mum having a hug, and he is allowed to carry the photograph around with him if he wants to, or he can leave it with the teacher if he's feeling brave and just ask to look at it every now and again.

The teacher has also enlisted the help of the other children in looking after this little boy, she has explained how much he misses his mummy, just like she knows all of the others do, and she asked them to come up with ideas to help him. They've come up with ideas like asking him if he's OK or if he would like a hug, asking him to play with them or work with them to take his mind off it, and reminding him after the last playtime that there's only one thing left to do, then the bell will ring and he can see Mummy again.

I wonder if any of those things would be worth trying in your son's case?

edgetop · 05/10/2005 12:15

thanks wigwam i will ask the teacher about your ideas when i pick him up today.

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saadia · 06/10/2005 05:25

WWB your dds's Reception teacher sounds lovely.

edgetop haven't got sny useful suggestions as am having similar problems with ds at nursery, but hope things improve, can relate to how heartbreaking it is to leave them.

edgetop · 06/10/2005 11:59

i had a chat to his teacher about droping him off & handing him over to her & she agreed with me.
she told me she had a chat with him when i left yesterday &told him to be brave & not get himself & mummy upset she told me 2 minutes after i left he was fine, he also told me that himself. this morning he went in we found his teacher ,he gave me a kiss & went off to do a special job with her ,it feels great. i think im very lucky as his teachers are approachable.

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edgetop · 06/10/2005 12:03

saadia thanks for your message,i think it helps to know its not only your child that acts this way,i do think its good to work along side teachers they are there to help,hope your ds settles soon.

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saadia · 06/10/2005 15:08

Thanks edgetop, and really pleased to hear that your ds is happier now.

meggymoo · 06/10/2005 15:12

Message withdrawn

edgetop · 06/10/2005 18:55

meggymoo sorry to hear about your ds,how is he when you leave him ?
my ds has been going to creche since he was 9 months old& now he has just started school,the crying when i leave him as always been there but they always tell me the same 2 minutes & he is fine,a few times i asked him why do you cry, he said its just something i do!!

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meggymoo · 07/10/2005 09:40

Message withdrawn

edgetop · 07/10/2005 09:48

hi meggymoo,
sounds like your ds & mine are two of a kind, this morning he gave me a cuddle & walked off with the teacher it seems to be better if i get out of the room as quick as possible.

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meggymoo · 07/10/2005 10:04

Message withdrawn

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