Reception Children - Drop off/pick up routine

[Earlybird]

DD started reception a few weeks back. Initially most parents brought their children into the classroom, got them settled and departed. Pick up is done by the school front door where each child is handed over to their mum/carer by the teacher.

Today when we entered dd's classroom, the teaching assistant began to praise dd for being brave enough to be dropped at the door and coming into the classroom by herself. The assistant then saw me hanging up dd's coat. She proceeded to say - not to me, but in general - that she thought next week she would start handing out stars to those children who came into the classroom by themselves.

The not to subtle implication was that those parents who bring their children into the classroom need to consider stopping. I want to continue bringing dd into the classroom. We know very few children in her class, so it's the only way I have of recognising her classmates. When she speaks of Isabel or Claire or Amy, etc, I'd like to put a face to that name. I also want to see the classroom to see the artwork, etc. It's also the only chance I have of seeing the teacher for more than the 5 second handover at the end of the day.

We are usually among the first to arrive in the classroom, and I don't linger. I'm in/out of the classroom in less than 5 minutes, so don't feel that I am being disruptive in any way or stopping them from getting on with anything. Am I being a clingy mum, or is the school being a bit strict? What is your routine?

[frogs]

At our school no parents are allowed into the classroom in the mornings at all. You have to drop off in the playground, right from the beginning.

Last year's Reception parents had a tendency to do what you are describing, and there were repeated reminders in the newsletters that parents were not to follow their children into the classrooms in the morning. Yes, I think the assistant is telling you to keep out in the most tactful way possible. It is a very different feel from a nursery if that's what you've been used to, but I think it's pretty standard for Reception classes.

It's fair enough, really, it's their workplace and they need to get on with it without lots of parents cluttering up the place. I know you don't see it like that, but that will be the school's viewpoint. You can't really win this one, so it's not worth making an issue of IMO. If you need to discuss something with the teacher they should have a system for letting you do that once she's got all the kids out of her hair.

[marialuisa]

TBH that sounds similar to what DD's school expects. You can help them hang up their coats butthey make quite a thing about putting their own reading books in the basket and snacks in the snack box. But DD is dropped off at earlycare at 8 am and takes me to admire her sentence book etc. then!

DD goes to aftercare but for those who stay only until 3.20 the routine is that the teacher and TA bring all the kids down to the bottom of the hill.

TBH i feel quite lucky as I know several schools where after the first 2 weeks Reception children must be dropped off by the gate to the main playground. Mums are not allowed in to the playground at all, the class teacher escorts them to the gate and checks that someone is there at the end of the day to collect the child.

[scotlou]

In P1 we were allowed into teh classroom first 2 days and from then on we only got as far as the cloakroom. This year, P1 parents were again allowed into class for first couple of days and since then - due to increase in school size, parents are now not allowed in cloakroom either. Think most schools are the same - and I know that some primaries do not even let parents of P1 inside the school gates never mind teh school itself!

[Gobbledigook]

We seem to be allowed to help them hang their coat up which is in the corridor outside the classroom but no parents go into the classroom itself.

Tbh, it would be better if we didn't go into the cloakroom either as it's very crowded. I don't usually but today the teaching assistant was not by the coat pegs and ds1 can't reach up to the shelf to put his lunchbox on it so I popped in and did that. He can manage his coat though so no need for me to go in really.

Do you not wait in the playground to go, therefore seeing all her friends in the 10mins before you go in?

[binkie]

Much like yours to start with Earlybird, with the difference that we got a proper letter home about now, saying as from after half-term could you please let your child take itself into its classroom etc. etc., foster independence, & so on. And everyone complied, so that then occasionally when there was something urgent it wasn't seen as a problem if you did go in with them.

I think it's trying to do it by hinting that sounds wrong.

[vickitiredmum]

I agree with frogs, i think the teaching assistant has tried to let you down gently because they know how hard it is for you to leave your DD etc. But they still need to get on with their day/routine etc.

There isnt a need for you to get involved as such and i dont know why you need to see her classmates - surely you can do that in the playground at "hometime".

If there is anything important to discuss with the teacher you can make appointments to do so after normal school hours. If the teacher feels there is something important to discuss with you they would contact you without hesitation I am sure.

[vickitiredmum]

That came out a bit blunter than intened - typing whilst b/feeding sorry EB!

[binkie]

(The other thing I liked about the letter approach was of course that it gave us time to adapt to the new routine - spect that was obvious from my post, though.)

[tamum]

We had it clearly spelt out at the induction, that we could come into school and meet the children in the class on the settling-in days, then inside the school but outside the classroom door for the first full week, and from then on they would line up in the playground. I know it's hard to adjust, especially if you're used to going into a nursery every day, but I think it's par for the course and quite understandable, I'm afraid.

[coppertop]

At ds1's school the parents are actively encouraged to come into the classroom in the mornings. This applies to children in Reception, Yr1 and Yr2. The teacher sets out an activity or puts out some storybooks. The idea is that the parents and children do these together. It helps ease the children into the school day, gives parents an opportunity to see what their children are working on and also shows the children that school and homelife can overlap IYSWIM. It also gives parents the chance to speak to the teacher about any minor concerns or worries.

There is a similar scheme in Yrs 3-6 but this happens only one morning per week there instead of every morning.

[Enid]

we can take ours in (reception and year one) but the older they get the more they discourage it. dd1 doesnt want me to go in anymore (hurrah) so I am off the hook. On fridays the school is open from 8-8.30 for parents of all years to look at the work.

[Twiglett]

our reception class has the children line up outside and go in by themselves, they hang their own coats up and sort their water bottles and book bags out .. parents stay outside and say goodbye before the teacher arrives to bring them in

even in nursery (from age 3) we didn't go into the classroom

I think there should be a strong cut-off between schooltime and out of schooltime and am honestly surprised any school is taking such a soft approach to it

[Earlybird]

OK - this is helpful/interesting to get the mumsnet perspective. And I think you're all right that I am being indirectly told that a parent's presence is no longer required or welcome in the reception classroom.

We've not been told officially to keep out of the classroom, or even to gradually phase it out. The only instruction we've had as parents is to make an appointment with the teacher if there is anything to discuss, rather than attempting an informal conversation as the day is beginning/ending. I have abided completely by that instruction.

There is no playground area at the school (they go across the road to a gated/locked square for playtime), so there is no schoolyard interaction with parents present. We are simply told to arrive sometime between 8.15 and 8.45. During that "arrival" time, the children settle in to the classroom and get started with an activity at the worktable. They also each get a few minutes of 1-1 time with the teacher to see how they're coming along with phonics, sounding out, etc.

At this point, the only chance we parents have to get to know new classmates is at birthday parties, and there are none for dd's class until after Christmas. So, with staggered morning arrivals, afternoon pickups often done by nannies, grandparents, etc., no school yard, and now no going into the classroom, it is difficult for me to get to know any of the children so we can arrange playdates. Since dd is an only child, I have felt playdates were important for her to learn social/interaction skills. But perhaps she is getting all that at school now anyway.

Maybe this is all part of making the transition from nursery (where we're aware of or involved in most every aspect of our child's life) to reception where a level of real independence is introduced.

[madmarchhare]

Havent done it yet but I know schools (reception and yr1) round here encourage parents to be involved in the first 15-30 minutes of class.

[Enid]

yy

it is much more 'impersonal' at proper school. I wouldnt worry about playdates, they are knackered at this age anyway.

[Mog]

DD is in her third week at reception in a small village school. All the parents come into the class to drop-off and we haven't been given any indication that it should stop. I'm curious that some people think there should be a strong cut-off point between school time and not. Most of reception are only four and can't see how it matters at all that parents are allowed in the classroom. At this age there should be a strong element of play and there is a sort of unspoken rule at dd's school that the bell signals time for parents to exit. If schools don't welcome parents into their space (allbeit not at the expense of disrupting lessons) I don't think there can then be complaints when parents don't get involved in their children's education or in the life of the school.
This sounds a bit ranty but I do think that at four children should still be treated with a certain leniancy and tenderness.

[Pinotmum]

Dd started Reception on 8th Sept and from the start they lined up and went into the class alone. At the end of the day they are sent out to us with/without coats, sweatshirts etc unless they put them on. One mother has been told no parents allowed in the class room as she kept going in.

[PeachyClair]

The kids in reception are handed to their Teacher and collected from her at the end of the day, the Teaching Assistant takes them into class, then later on in the year they will do the line up outside drill the other yeras follow. On wet days, all years are re ceived by teachers who help them dry / climb out of waterproofs.

I'm more than happy with this: boys seem happy with it, and at last school I wasn't even allowed inside the school for two terms!

[wordgirl]

DS's school has an 'open door policy' and all parents go into classrooms with their children until Key Stage 2 (juniors)!I had always just assumed that this was the norm and didn't realise that some schools didn't allow parents in.
PS. If you aren't allowed in how do you have a quick word with the teacher about something or other?

[janeybops]

I don't go in but there are still a few that feel it is still necesary for one reason or another. Perhaps I am lucky as my dd is fine and is happy to be independent.

I can totally understand why the staff dont want parents in in the morning though. They need to get the children settled and started on their activiites. imo parents going in delays this so I am in favour of parents not going in I'm afraid. If you add up all the quick 5 mins and the chaos at the entrance. I'm surprised kids don't get lost/squashed at dd's class door!

[annh]

At ds' school, parents are also not allowed into the classroom. We drop the KS1 kids in the school hall anytime from 8.30 onwards where they sit in their class lines and are supervised. They then all go into class together and manage their own coats, book bags etc. I am all in favour as I think it helps them to become independent and on a practical level, there simply is no room in the cloakroom for a whole class of children and parents.

Earlybird, your school situation sounds difficult with lack of playground etc. but you can't really expect the teacher to facilitate social chit-chat among parents in her classroom. To you it may only be a few minutes a couple of times a week but to her it's constant interruption every day (and I say this as an ex classroom assistant!) The working day has started for the teacher once she in class and those last 15-20 mins before school starts are (over) filled with sorting worksheets, cutting, mixing paints etc etc.

If you haven't been given any advice about beginning/end of day etc have a word with the office. Did your school not do any kind of introductory talk for parents when the children had their introductory morning or a meet-the-teacher evening? If not, that really is a failing on their part amd you shouldn't have to rely on asides from the classroom assistant in the cloakroom to find out what's what.

With regard to meeting parents, what about becoming part of the PTA or offering to help in class one afternoon a week? Most schools are desperate for help. Do you have a class rep who organises activities for parents? If not, maybe you could become the rep? It's very early in school term so I wouldn't worry too much about meeting other parents, these things have a habit of working themselves out when dd starts recognising people in Tesco, at the swimming pool etc or when playdates start to be organised.

[Mog]

Do none of you feel even a little bit perturbed thst little children are being asked to be so regimented from such a young age. Starting school at four is a fairly new development and to have them being treated like the older children would have me slightly worried. In our school the reception class have their own entrance, seperate playground and toilet area. I think these things were recommended by authorities when school entranced was lowered to 4. Why do children have to learn to be independent from 4. They have all their life to do that.

[coppertop]

I agree with both of your posts, Mog. One of the reasons ds1's school introduced this scheme was so that parents could get more involved in their children's education and school life. It was originally just for the younger children but was so successful that it was extended to the rest of the school. The classroom is opened up 10 minutes before school officially starts. Parents leave as soon as the bell goes and so the school day isn't interrupted.

The school also holds short courses during the school day for parents who want to learn how to help their children with homework, reading etc. It benefits both the parents and the children IMHO to have parents involved in school life.

[flashingnose]

Hmm, I'm going to go against the flow here and say I agree with kids being encouraged to go in alone, even at 4. You've got to say goodbye to them and some point, the teachers and assistants are on hand to help with bags/coats etc and it saves the cloakrooms getting cluttered up with parents/siblings/pushchairs etc. As long as the teacher sets aside time to speak to parents e.g. at the end of the day, I don't see there's a problem?

[Earlybird]

Still thinking about this.

Coppertop and Enid - I like the idea of having a designated day/time for parents to come into the classroom in a limited way. I want to see what dd is working on, want to see her friends/classmates, and also would like the chance for some casual chat with the teacher to discuss minor things without needing the formality of an appointment. Also think it could help address any small concerns to nip them in the bud so they don't become real issues.

I also like the idea of giving parents pointers on how to support the school work at home in useful way. I've read educators/psychologists who say that children who are most successful are those whose parents are actively involved......of course, that's without turning into an overbearing "stage mum" type person! I'm simply trying to figure out how that involvement should manifest itself in day to day life in a helpful/appropriate manner.

But, I see from the posts here that most schools seem to subsribe to the "drop off/pick up and go" method. So, I am clearly in the minority, and might perhaps need to let go and trust a bit more.