Starting reception class

[Cam]

I'm nervous for my 4 year old who is starting reception class on Monday. Even though she has spent 2 years in the Kindergarten of her school and knows everyone who will be in the class I am still feeling slightly worried for her. She has had the same teacher for 2 years but will now have a new one, will wear the full proper uniform, sit at her own desk, attend for 5 full days a week instead of part-time, and have much more formal lessons. I know she will be fine and my school own entry was so untraumatic that I don't even remember anything about it, I think it is that I am aware that she will change so much over the next year. I feel like I'm losing my "baby". Of course I am being very calm and matter of fact about it all to my daughter and she is really looking forward to it but does anyone else how I feel. Or am I just being a pathetic soppy mother?

[Cam]

My penultimate sentence should read : does anyone else KNOW how I feel?

[Rhiannon]

Sorry Cam, but yes you're being a pathetic, soppy mother! My little girl starts playgroup next week, two mornings a week. They need to go, they need the progression and the social interaction. They need to find out about things without us looking over their shoulders all the time. Assuming she is the only one, start planning what you're going to do with your free time, enjoy yourself. She'll be back by 3pm. You'll be fine.

[Cam]

Dear Rhiannon, thanks for making me laugh.I know you're right and I didn't really expect any sympathy, especially as yes I will have lots of lovely time back, but it feels like a big step after babyhood, toddlerhood and pre-schoolerhood!
I know it is all about moving on, but doesn't it come around real quick?

[Faith]

Oh Cam,
allow yourself to feel emotional... I certainly am, but cannot share it, as equally have to be enthusiastic and positive with my beloved 4 1/2 year old twins who are starting reception next week, and dh does not understand! My girls have been at nursery since 9 months for 2-3 days a week. But school IS different. A friend whose fourth is about to start says they change so much in the first year, and really start to 'grow apart' (from mummy!) Oh God, I'm crying just typing this so heaven knows what state I'll be in when I leave them next week! And yes I know they have to become independent, and that it's the beginning of something equally new and special and valid and exciting for all of us... but I'm allowed to mourn the passing of what has been a special and cherished time. So, no I don't think you're soppy Cam, and I know you and I are not the only mothers who are secretly dreading next week, but also anticipating all the positive times to come.Just think...first school play, school trip, parents evening.

[Winnie]

Cam, I was so anxious about my daughter starting school that all the photographs I took of her were blurred when developed. Every single picture!!! I even managed to blurr the picture of her curled up in the rocking chair fast asleep not half of an hour after her return from school following a day she'd enjoyed enormously. Yes, Rhiannon is right, they do need school but it IS still an enormous step for you as well as them no matter what your situation previously. My little girl is now starting her first day at secondary school this week and I can't believe how quickly the time has evaporated, I am still desperately anxious for her and I am sure I will be anxious for her time and time again ... that is parenthood. Go with it but try not to let it overwhelm you it's one of those things that simply goes with the territory. Good luck.

[Emsiewill]

My dd is starting school on Tuesday, and I thought I was fine about it, until I actually started thinking about the "mechanics" of the day - she'll be travelling on the school bus (no, not on the very first day, but from a couple of days in), so I've been having major panics (in my head) about how will she know what to do when she gets off the bus at school, how will they know what bus she's supposed to get on etc, etc. Thinking about this rationally, I know that these aren't real problems - about 90% of the children go to school by bus, so they're obviously used to sorting the practicalities out, but I think I just "needed" something to get worried about, and I know that dd will deal with the other aspects of starting school, so I've fixed on this.
I always like to think of myself as an "unsoppy" mother, but I think my real soppiness is coming out!

[Missie]

My 4 year old will be starting school on wednesday, starting full time and i'm a nervous wreck, she is looking forward to it, however she has always been very clingy, crying when i left her at pre school etc.. she is extremely shy and doesn't talk to anyone she doesn't know. I'm worried about how she will cope with so many new faces, being in a crowded and noisy lunch hall and the play ground, I just know that if she starts to cry when i leave i am gonna break down myself. Anyone with any tips on how to handle this i will be gratefull!!

[Janh]

missie, is there a child starting at the same time that she knows, and whose mother you know? if you can all go in together, and leave the 2 children together, and the 2 mothers leave together, you can all prop each other up...

[Missie]

janh, Thanks for that,i'm building it all up in my mind, worrying over something when thinking about it objectively i'm sure she'll be fine, i'm just getting emotional for dropping off my baby at school at 9 and picking up a big girl at 3:15

[Janh]

missie, i know just how you feel - when my elder daughter (now about to go to uni!) started, despite being usually quite confident, she was all pale and quiet and when i left her sitting at one of those tiny tables she looked half the size she normally did and i crept away feeling dreadful...

but by 3.30 she was back to her normal size and bounced out absolutely full of herself!

[Azzie]

Cam, how did the first day go? Of course you're being soppy, but so what? We invest so much of our time and energy in our children when they're little that seeing them grow up and (inevitably) away from us is bound to be a bittersweet experience. After all, the better the job we've done as parents, the easier they will find it to manage without us. And remember, you may be losing your 'baby', but think how fascinating it will be to see the person she turns into next! It's a new stage of her life, and of yours - take some time to think about what you want to do next yourself.

[Cam]

Thanks for asking, Azzie. When I left her on her first day (yesterday), she turned pale and looked a little anxious but did not cry or become clingy. This made it easier for me to remain calm but of course I couldn't help worrying about her all day.However when I picked her up in the afternoon she declared she loved it and enjoyed every minute of it. So I am hoping that this is another milestone successfully reached!

[loo]

Our ds starts reception full time tomorrow and boy am I anxious for him but trying so hard not to show it! Anyone else feeling the same way today?

[ChanelNo5]

loo - my ds started reception last Sept and he hasn't looked back. He loves it, has made lots of friends and was certainly ready by then for a full day of school to keep him occupied. Good Luck, I'm sure everything will be fine!

[hezzy]

We recently moved house and I can't get a nursery place at the school in my area where my 4 year old will start reception in September. She still goes to nursery in our old area and I'm worried when that when it comes to leaving her friends behind there and starting school here, she might have trouble settling in. Neither of us know anyone in the area so she won't know anyone when the time comes!
i've been told not all the kids at the nursery will even attend the school... surely priority should be with those who intend to join the school aswell?

[Paula1]

Hezzy, apparently, it is something to do with Nurserys in schools not being allowed to be run by the same people that run the school. The Nursery has to be run independently of the school, and as such could have completely different entry requirements. For example, my son attends a private nursery full time, and when my local school offered me a Nursery place they offered 3 2.5 hour sessions (which was neither use nor ornament to me), and also not all infant schools have Nurserys.

[Jaybee]

Hezzy - can you try and take dd to other things like swimming, tumble tots (or similar). Speak to as many neighbours as possible to see if anyone knows any of the kids who will be starting school with your dd, you could probably try and get them together for an afternoon before starting school. It may be worth you making an appointment to see how the school encourages new children to mix together. My two go to a school with a nursery attached. It is the only state nursery in the area and has to be open to everyone in the area - the school would prefer to give the places to those who will be attending the school but the rules are not set by them. My dd did go to the nursery and knew alot of children when she started school, there were several others though who knew no-one, these kids were 'assigned' to one or two others for drawing sessions etc and for the first few playtimes - it didn't take long for all the children to be playing happily together. You will probably find that your dd will match up with another child who did not go to the nursery. Don't worry, I am sure she will be fine.

[cherry]

It is me, I changed my name! Unfortunately most of our neighbours are elderley couples or younger couples with either no kids or babies, but as it happens I did manage to get dd a place in local playgroup (eventually). Most of the kids are only old enough for nursery come sept but there is one who'll be going to reception at same school...it's a start!

[Jaybee]

After a week or so could you invite that 'one' round to play or try and have a chat with the Mum - she may know of other kids that are due to start school at the same time, you could probably arrange for a trip to the park together.
Many schools arrange for at least one day in July for the new starters to have a taster session in their new class, at least this way she will have met her teacher and her new classmates. Does this happen at her new school?