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Some numpty wants to arrange a courier for collection only item. What do I do?

(83 Posts)
EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 06:52:22

I sold a chair on Sunday night. The buyer lives miles away.
I was paid by paypal (thanks a lot) on Sunday night with no message, so yesterday I emailed to ask when they wanted to collect it.
I got a message in the evening saying they are just arranging a courier and what is my address etc.
No idea what sort of courier - if it's someone like Parcelforce I'll have to wait in all day AND wrap the bloody thing up, though I suppose it might be a normal furniture courier but if it is, that'll cost a fortune for a £10 chair so seems unlikely.
Also I'll need online tracking as she paid by paypal.
What can I do?
I've just replied saying that I am not able to wrap the chair for a courier, I cannot wait in all day and I will need online proof of delivery.
What do I do if she insists on sending someone else? I guess it's only a tenner and it might all be fine, but seriously - I hate new ebayers.
She only has a low feedback, so clearly doesn't get that you are supposed to discuss these things before bidding.
I don't want a neg for this. Any thoughts most welcome.
Thankyou smile

whyme2 Tue 03-Jul-12 06:58:05

You could arrange the courier yourself and then you would be in control of when they came. You also need to charge her for packing materials if necessary too.

flubba Tue 03-Jul-12 06:59:44

How annoying for you!

If you specified collection only, then it's collection only. If they want to sort out a courier, then they'll need to sort out a courier who'll pick up at one particular time (like you would if they were coming to pick up themselves). Not sure what the courier's rules are re: packaging, but you could bung it in a bin bag having told the buyer in advance that that's what you'll do (word it more nicely! smile ) or charge extra for packing...

HeadsShouldersKneesandToes Tue 03-Jul-12 07:02:19

You could message them back saying that if you have to wait in for a courier, your time is charged at £10 per hour and this cost will be added to the cost of the item, as well as the additional cost of packaging.

Collection only means collection only, you have no obligation to cooperate, I would suggest that if the buyer doesn't want to collect in person the sale should be retracted and you should sell to the next-highest bidder.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 07:03:08

Thanks guys...I don't actually plan to pack it at all, I don't see why I's very difficult anyway and I would not feel confident that it would arrive in one piece.

Also arranging a courier on her behalf when it only sold for a tenner is just too much hassle. I don't want the responsibility of sending a fragile, large item using a third party iyswim.

I really think she is expecting to use arseholeforce parcelforce or something and they will just turn up and refuse to take it as it isn;t in a box.

Thanks for the ideas though...I'll have to wait and see what she says. I'm not sure what the rules are for sellers on accepting courier arrangements.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 07:04:42 first thought was to cancel the transaction, but as she has paid already, and you have to accept paypal for almost everything these days - she would probably neg me for it.

I'm trying so hard to be kind and friendly but I just want to scream at her!

EdithWeston Tue 03-Jul-12 07:07:29

There's no reason why the collection should not be by a courier.

You however can arrange a convenient time for the collector to collect - irrespective of whether that collector is buyer, buyer's DH/DN/BF etc, or buyer's commercially arranged collector.

So you can say: OK, Mondays after 6pm work best, though you might catch me in at other times.

Any chance by courier she meant friend who shell ask to collect?k prob not! Make sure you record and photograph any damage as presumably part of the reason for collection was so she could accept it iyswim

Yup tell her to get insurance and agree to accept liability to any damage. If the courier trash it she can claim against you.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 07:12:16

Yes Stealth, that's it.

Edith, thanks - I've asked her to let me know her plans regarding courier requirements, if it's something like HDNL or PF then obviously it'll have to be a no, but if she actually has someone that does door to door without the need for packing stuff, I'll probably let her go ahead - after all it's her fifty quid and if she doesn;t like it, she'll have to send it back.

The thing is most of those couriers don't provide online tracking - I only know of one who does - and so I might end up with a not received claim and have to give the money back, but it isn't an awful lot I suppose.

I'm sure she won't be able to get a cheapo service to collect after 6pm though.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 07:13:41

Honeydragon, whatever she agrees to with me, she can still put in a paypal claim if it gets damaged.

Paypal only accept online tracking/POD so unless she is willing to share these with me, I will be stuffed if anything happens to it.

I hate ebay.

I know, but I always tell people now as thankfully that swung it for a friend of mine in a dispute where the buyer was trying it on. She took a photo of the item before shipping and made the courier sign that it was intact.

Like you she had a numpty buyer. EBay told the seller to take a photo of the item and claim against the courier. He suddenly refused and backed down.

I hate all this crap with eBay sad

fergoose Tue 03-Jul-12 08:04:11

you must refund her payment and ask her for cash on collection only. If a buyer arranges a courier then you have no tracking number and they can claim item not received so if a courier is to be arranged you need to do it yourself, don't let a buyer arrange their own.

You must only ever accept cash for collection items, never ever paypal

Once you have refunded her you can send her a transaction cancellation request

nowwearefour Tue 03-Jul-12 08:23:26

But I thought you had to offer paypal for all transactions
Now? How do you accept cash only for collection only items? I recently sold one collection only and was nervous he would claim something like not there and I wd hbe to refund. Thankfully he was a genuine ebayer and all was fine but it might not have been.

fergoose Tue 03-Jul-12 08:50:32

you just write on the listing cash on collection only - and if they pay by paypal you refund them

Otherwise you are leaving yourself wide open to scammers I'm afraid. I cannot believe eBay haven't done something to rectify this.

This happened to me. eBay said to open a cancel transaction case with the
Buyer, clearly stating that it is collection only, you will get your fees back but will
Have to resell it. How annoying!

Vickles Tue 03-Jul-12 10:25:38

Cancel transaction babe, and refund paypal payment.
She should have checked with you first.
She is in the wrong.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 11:41:22

Thanks everyone, I'm just afraid that because ebay insist on accepting paypal, she will get the hump and give me negative feedback.

I also can't believe that they haven't rectified it, it makes it impossible for sellers.
But then they have always been on the side of the buyer I least since I started using ebay in 2005ish.

I haven't heard back from her yet so will see what she says and as it is a fairly low value item, if she genuinely has a plan (doubt it!) I might take a risk on her...but really, if she sends parcelforce etc, it'll want packing, and like you say she can claim against me if it gets damaged en route, and if she sends a proper job courier that doesn't require packing, there won't be any tracking or proof of delivery.

It's a lose-lose, unless everything goes perfectly to plan and she is totally honest.
I am tempted to cancel and refund but I think I will wait for a response from her first. I'll let you know what happens x

fergoose Tue 03-Jul-12 12:29:12

If I were you I would rather neg feedback than a buyer keeping your item and your money. It is only a red dot on a website - don't let yourself be held to ransom over it.

savoycabbage Tue 03-Jul-12 12:34:12

So would I. Negative feedback is not 'real' in the same way as arranging couriers and paying for packaging. It's not that bad.

fergoose Tue 03-Jul-12 12:40:42

And you could do everything she is demanding and still get neg feedback, it is not guaranteed that a buyer will leave good feedback even if you do everything they are demanding.

savoycabbage Tue 03-Jul-12 13:03:46

I was held to ransom with a buyer saying she would leave me negative feedback. She wanted to keep the item and have a refund and I decided that I wasn't going to let her rob me so ....well she did give me a negative and it drops off the chart thing at the top after twelve months, you get a chance to respond and your % does recover too.

I would risk the bad feedback. I had this over a pram once. 'Local Pick Up, Cash On Collection Only' in large letters in the listing. Person 200 miles away bid at the last minute.
Paid paypal and said she'd send a courier.
I refunded the paypal and said no courier, the listing stated local pickup cash only and thats what I'd accept.
Said she'd send cash by special delivery if I was going to be 'awkward' and send her husband to pick up but she would not know for 2 weeks what his next lot of routes would be.
'I want it gone within 7 days as per listing'
'I'll send a courier'
'I don't want to use a courier I want the buyer to pick the item up so that we all know they are happy with it, give me the money and leave'
'all you have to do is wrap it in a bin bag and wait in for the courier'
'I work so won't be in when the courier comes, you are unable to do local pickup, therefore you cannot have the item'
'oh you are just being a bitch because the item went cheap, well have it your way but I'll leave appropriate feedback'
'you do that and I'll respond with 'item stated local pick up, buyer 200 miles away demands courier'.

She went away after that. Didn't even leave feedback after all her threats. Stick to your guns, refund the paypal and if she gets arsey you email ebay resolution team, which is what I did. THey got back to me and said that as the item states local pick up only, if she leaves a neg because I won't let her send a courier than they will cancel the feedback and give her a strike.

I couldn't face listing the pram, gave it to surestart to find a good home for it!

Don't worry about one neg off an idiot - anyone looking at your feedback will see your 'response' and know that you are ok.

correction, I reported her to ebay for 'feedback extortion'. I cut and paste the email from her threatening to neg me if I didn't let her send a courier. They replied saying that as my listing clearly stated local pick up cash only, then if she DID leave a neg it would be removed and she would have a strike against her.

HeadsShouldersKneesandToes Tue 03-Jul-12 18:27:14

Emilie, if the transaction is cancelled she doesn't get to leave you feedback at all, pos or neg, so there is no risk to you.

Cancel it. Anything else is silly and not worth it for the £10 you'll get out of it (if she's not trying to scam you out of that too).

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 18:31:05

This latest:


I am not sure that I really understand your concerns. Whilst of course it is preferable to wrap the chair, most couriers come armed with blankets for the purpose and will also work around the times that you are available. As regards cash on collection, as you have marketed and sold the chair via Ebay it is a condition of sale that you accept Paypal. Sooooo, not really sure what the problem is here. We most definitely want the chair as have bid and won it on Ebay and we accept that that is a binding contract. I will ask the courier to contact you as soon as possible and hopefully they will be able to work around your availability which is of course right and to be expected. I am sure it will all work out just fine but maybe you need to look to local ads/garage sales etc in the future to sell your goods as Ebay does not seem to be a comfortable forum for you. If you could furnish me with your address and phone no so that I can instruct a courier to liaise with you and find out a good time for pick-up that would be great and we can go from there.

Many thanks for your time,

Ms Patronising Mc Nasty

who will leave negative whatever I do.

nocake Tue 03-Jul-12 18:36:13

I once arranged for a man with a van to collect some garden furniture I bought on ebay. I sorted out with the seller and man when the best time was to collect it and it worked perfectly. She didn't have to pack it up or do anything except be there when he arrived, which she would have had to do if I'd collected it. If your buyer does that then I think it's reasonable to accept but make sure you get a receipt from whoever picks it up.

HeadsShouldersKneesandToes Tue 03-Jul-12 18:40:45

Reply to her:

The "binding contract" includes my stipulation for collection in person only. I am under no obligation to accept your demand to vary this. Dealing with a courier is a significantly greater burden of administration and time than a simple pick-up-in-person. Please do not bid on Collection in Person Only items again without checking with the seller, it is rude and unreasonable, as is your last message.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 19:09:11

That is very good, thankyou very much, I have sent something like that.

Ebay advised me to open a case to cancel it so I have and also have refunded her payment.

I probably will lose my final value fee but ebay said they could probably do something about that, and also said they may be able to remove any negative feedback.

I hope so.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 03-Jul-12 19:12:05

What an idiot, and how rude is their email!

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 19:15:22

She's left neg for someone else with over 1,000 feedback too:

'Refused Paypal. Forced to make bank transfer within hour w. 2 under 4's in tow.'

That was for some chairs as well. in April. She's having a proper toddler strop isn't she...I won't be bullied.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 19:16:34

I should add I have almost 1,000 and 100% positive at the moment.

She has 20. I think she thinks ebay ought to do what she tells it to, even when we have way more experience than she does.

She won't get very far if she keeps up this attitude...or maybe she will, she seems to be the ultimate nightmare buyer.

Floggingmolly Tue 03-Jul-12 19:24:35

I would assume "collection" just means you will not be sending the item by post?
If you are being really specific and insist that it must only be collected by the buyer themselves, you really should have stated it clearly in your listing.
If you haven't done this, you haven't a leg to stand on.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 19:27:42

It is stated clearly right at the top. 'collection in person only'.

According to ebay customer support I have a leg to stand on.

I did wonder if she might be on MN...she has two small children.

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 19:30:19

I put this as well:

'Cash on collection please from Canterbury, Kent or can deliver locally. No paypal please due to proof of postage requirements.'

She's ignored all of it/ I think she's just really really rude.

jammic Tue 03-Jul-12 19:33:23

We've sold quite a few 'collection only' things on eBay that the buyer has then arranged a courier for. (After they paid for the item via paypal.) The couriers have always come at a time suitable to us and we've never had to provide any packaging of any kind. The courier deals with that. As a seller, it's as easy as handing the item straight to the buyer. To be honest, I'm not really sure what the issue is. You'd have to arrange a time to be in if the buyer was picking it up...

EmilieFloge Tue 03-Jul-12 19:38:45

Jammic, that's lovely if it all goes well.

The concern is if it does not. The item may be damaged in transit, or may not arrive. the buyer may be unhappy with it and demand a refund based on no proof of delivery.

I would have no contract with the courier and thus could not claim on her or my own behalf. It is the seller's responsibility always to ensure that the item arrives safely - someone else's courier is not a guarantee of that.

As a seller you need to be aware that paypal will first and foremost require online trackable delivery proof for any item under dispute.

If you don't have this you lose the case.
if the buyer had been polite and asked me in advance instead of barging ahead with her own little plan, I might well have bent over backwards to try and accommodate her.

But she was rude.
That does not augur well for a hassle free sale, so rather than let her get it collected and then put up with nonsense from her, I'd rather stop it now.

jammic Tue 03-Jul-12 20:48:05

I've had some people send couriers without me even realising they were doing so until they showed up. I guess the photos would help protect against any damage caused in transit as was mentioned above. Maybe next time be explicit that third party collections are not possible...?

jammic Tue 03-Jul-12 20:49:03

Although that doesn't really help this time. eBay probably should allow you to decide really.

fergoose Tue 03-Jul-12 21:00:31

If you as a seller do not want a courier collecting then that is your right to refuse. I wouldn't do it, no tracking and then if the item is damaged you can't claim from the courier as you don't have a contract with them. Plus the waiting around for potentially hours, and then the issue of packaging an item up too.

Your auction, your rules. Just because a buyer tries to bully you to do their bidding, it doesn't make them right.

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 07:17:11

Thanks both...

well, she's refused the cancel transaction case. And apparently refused the paypal refund, though I haven't checked - she just says she did.

Ebay just sent me a standard message saying please complete the transaction. Doe this mean I have to? Or what?

she still says I am being silly and she thinks I just wanted more money. I told her that if we don't complete the sale the chair is going on the bonfire, once I have rescued the lego out of it.

I also explained about liability and her asking me to take a risk I am not happy with, and told her that she is likely to encounter this problem many times with more experienced sellers. And that the other person who asked in advance about sending a courier got a 'yes' as she was polite about it and didn't assume.

So what now - obv I'll ring ebay again and ask them to sort it out, they did say they would last night.

Is there anything else I should do?

SoupDragon Wed 04-Jul-12 07:48:45

The chair could easily get broken by accident between now and when the courier arrives...

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 07:54:44

she can't refuse the paypal refund - that is nonsense.

SoupDragon Wed 04-Jul-12 07:58:09

I think you need to raise it with ebay again and see if they can sort it. There must be things they can do when a buyer is being an idiot.

dizzyday07 Wed 04-Jul-12 09:21:40

well if she raises a not received case and you didn't respond then all she'd get is her money refunded - Ebay can't "force" you to sell it to her.

But if you reply stating that it was a collection only item and that she wanted it couriered instead then the same will apply re the refund and ebay can see you were right to refuse her

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 09:22:14

Glad she can't refuse the refund. ebay are being useless - I called them just now and this time, they told me they can't do anything about it.

So no Final value fee, no feedback removal and if she decides to report me for non performance she'll get away with it, and my account will be restricted.

What an absolute arse.

ItsOnlyForeverNotLongAtAll Wed 04-Jul-12 10:04:00

I had a problem similar to this.

I sold a bed on ebay. I specified that it was collection only, or I could deliver in the local area for a small fee.
I specifically stated that I would not send the bed with a courier or post it under any circumstances.

Someone bid and won it and then sent me a message asking for my address and when would be a good time for collection, I told the buyer when I would be in and sent my address.
The buyer then arranged a courier without telling me. I refused to giver the courier the bed (although he said he couldn't take it without it being packaged up anyway)
The buyer went mad at me when I emailed to tell him that the bed was collection only and that I would not accept responsibility for a courier.
He then suggested that I deliver the bed to him, since he had already paid for his courier he expected the bed delivering.
He was completely unreasonable and refused to accept that the item was collection only.

In the end I realised I had two options. Not send the bed, and get the bed feedback, strike against my account and pay the fees while issuing a refund.
Or send him an invoice for postage and packing, organise a courier myself and send the bed securely with proof of postage.

I did the latter, but it wasn't easy as he refused to pay P&P, insisting that it was my responsibility on that he had already paid one courier.
Ebay told him if he wanted the item sent via courier he had to pay P&P fees, which he eventually did, the postage cost him over £60, and I charged £30 for packaging and effort. :D

He did try to file a significantly not as described dispute against me later on, claiming that the bed was in an 'unusable condition' but thankfully I always take pictures of items before sending them so he didn't win.

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 10:04:36

I don't think one non performance strike will damage your account, I could be wrong but I am sure it won't.

Also add her to your blocked bidder list.

Try posting on the community boards, I have had to speak to eBay via email and phone and got absolutely nowhere, but am hopefully sorting it out now via the boards.

I feel your frustration though, on the phone and by email they have been nothing short of useless - so annoying.

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 10:05:19

try posting a thread here asking for advice?

Thingiebob Wed 04-Jul-12 10:11:57

Is she not talking about a man with a can? You don't need to wrap and can arrange for a pick up at specific time, surely?

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 10:12:39

ItsOnly - you are very brave!!! Well done!!!

Fergoose thankyou very much, I tried posting on the answer centre and had a few replies but not altogether very helpful.

Do Ebay staff actually watch the community boards and step in?

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 10:21:10

There is an eBay chap called James who sometimes posts or steps in - his email address is floating around there somewhere.

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 10:23:43

Brilliant...many thanks smile

I am resigned to whatever she throws at me now, but she's not having the bloody chair. No way!

differentnameforthis Wed 04-Jul-12 10:34:16

I think it is a bit off being bitchy over couriers etc. You wanted to sell it, you did & you don't want them to collect it?


EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 10:39:29


fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 10:40:08

It is not a case of being bitchy - if you want collection only at a set time that is fine. If you don't want a courier collecting that is also fine. If the buyer did not like those terms they should have bid elsewhere. Lots of sellers will not wait in all day for a courier - especially when they often don't turn up or are late. I refuse to have buyers collecting items in person - I don't want strangers at my door when I am on my own. I have had buyers insisting on collecting and I have refused - that is my right as a seller.

The seller clearly stated collection only with cash - they did not say they would package it up and wait in all day for a courier to turn up. The buyer could have clarified this at any time before bidding. Now they are just digging their heels in.

They could have quite happily cancelled the transaction giving seller back their fees and moved on. It is only a chair, I can't understand why a buyer would be so nasty to be honest. So now the seller has fvf to pay and relisting fees too, plus a buyer causing trouble - life is too flipping short for this kind of grief isn't it?

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 10:43:54

Thanks I said if she had asked beforehand I might well have agreed, But she just barged on in and demanded I do it her way - basically, if I was expecting her to take a risk that she'd be held responsible for something, and I'd be off the hook no matter what happened, she wouldn't want to do it.

But that is exactly what she is expecting me to do. And I won't. And by being so incredibly rude to me in the process she has really made sure that I won't do it. I wish people could just be friendly - my messages to her were friendly from the off.

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 10:46:26

Also it is something I would not demand or expect from a seller. I would ask politely before bidding, then if the answer was no, sorry, I'm not happy using a third party, I'd respect that and not bid.

And if I had bid on the offchance and the buyer said no, I'd apologise and let them relist it/reoffer it to someone who they were comfortable selling to.

It's like she is expecting a faceless service without any thought that I might be a real person trying to protect their own interests - and hers, as if it is damaged, she will only have to return it at her own cost.

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 10:50:42

I wouldn't engage with her any more if I were you - it really is not worth upsetting yourself. I have had the seller from hell this week, and it has been so upsetting and hurtful, I cannot even begin to describe how awful it has been. I nearly closed my eBay account over it. I have tried not to take it personally, but it is difficult not to. Seller has my money, I can't get it back, she has sent me a wrong item which was so stained with v odd marks, dirty and also a bag of rubbish, I had to just return to sender. A friend told me to just walk away, she is an evil person and I was never going to get the resolution I wanted, and my friend was right.

Anyway, the moral is you cannot win with some folk, and I could have kept trying to get money back, sort out the problem or whatever, but I was just not going to win with that person. So I have decided to walk away. It is just not worth getting yourself in a state over - and unfortunately some people are just plain mean or nasty and you will never reason with them.

Sorry, bit of an essay - but you know - it really is not worth it. With such a wide audience you are going to encounter all sorts of people, and sadly every now and then you will come up against someone who is awful - law of averages and all that. But you will also come across fab people, polite, helpful and also keen to sort things out in an adult fashion if stuff does go wrong. A little bit of manners and courtesy goes a long way doesn't it and the mark of a good seller is how they resolve if there is a problem I think.

If she negs you, then you get to reply and warn other sellers off. So its not all bad.

personally I'd take the hit on fees and the neg because NO WAY would someone so rude be getting my item.

Go back to ebay, tell them the item clearly states pickup in person and that she is refusing to comply with this.

I have a couple of times had people refuse a request to cancel a transaction - my listings always state that I don't ship overseas and if an overseas bidder wins the item then I will refund their paypal and put in a request to cancel the item. Once someone refused the cancellation so I just didn't send the goods and they got a refund via paypal once they'd gone through the resolution. I just let them think it must have got lost in the post.

(I hasten to add that I've only done that ONCE in over 600 sales in 7 years though. And the buyer only ended up with their money and no item, which is where they'd have been if they'd read the listing properly).

If I ask for local pickup for a large item its not just for the convenience of having to open the door and they take the thing. Its because right there, in front of you, they let you know that the item is what they want and in the condition they were expecting. Sending something by courier can leave you wide open to 'the thing is dirty I want 50% refund' type shite from crappy buyers and I won't take that risk. I'd rather lose the selling fees.

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 10:56:39

I had a seller open an unpaid item dispute against me, even though I paid immediately, they never sent the item and eBay eventually refunded. Then the seller opened unpaid item dispute, which will give me a strike and remove the neg I left for them - and eBay cannot and will not do anything about it. Apparently it is a glitch which seems very odd.

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 10:56:39

Fergoose that sounds dreadful. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know how you feel - remember the sofa thing from about 6 months ago? That went on for a month before the chap eventually caved and refunded me. It was like being in hell, every day waking up not wanting even to look at your emails for fear of what will be waiting for you.

It does take over your life totally and I completely understand why you are walking away, though I wish there was something that could be done. Sometimes repeatedly calling ebay CS till they make enough contradictory decisions/mistakes to thoroughly wrongfoot your seller can work, that's what happened for me - they made an error, I complained, they reset the entire case in terms of dates and the seller panicked and decided enough was enough. Incompetence can work in your favour smile

I'm just sorry you've come across one of life's weirdos. It's totally random and very unfair...this thing I'm going through is nothing compared to some.

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 11:01:44

Flibberty - yes, me too. I'd rather they see it first, tbh I was wary instantly because I thought, you are paying through the nose to have this crappy chair sent 100 miles, you will probably say it's crap, then expect a refund, and I won't be able to do anything. Or your courier will drop it and I'll be liable.

Her attitude is just another few nails in the coffin tbh. You HAVE to work with reasonable people because things often DO go wrong through no one's fault and those things will need resolving calmly and fairly.

I can just picture this one letting the couriers off the hook and claiming against me...she just would. I know it.

I've been negged before back in the days of retaliation - once for apair of very dirty shoes and once I think for a £300 lot of antique things which never arrived and may not ever have been sent...the seller was apoplectic with rage that I put in with paypal. I was called a lot of interesting South USA style names. And she said she was dying.

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 11:16:59

Thanks Emilie - it's fine - I am a big girl, have dealt with a whole lot of worse stuff this year, maybe this is just the proverbial straw and camel's back! You are right it does consume you totally, and it is hurtful and awful.I could go to the police I guess but I just can't be bothered. Have enough other stuff going on at the moment without eBay grief too.

Anyway - onwards and upwards. If you don't relist your item how about finding a nice charity or shelter to give it to, or we have a local refurnish place, they collect stuff then sell it at reduced rate to people on working families or benefits. Would be nice for something good to come out of the hassle you have had - karma and all that. smile

AdventuresWithVoles Wed 04-Jul-12 11:35:31

Emilie please link to your auctions, I am so intrigued to see what chair was worth so much fuss!

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 11:36:24

that's not a bad idea...we have somewhere like that too, just collected a sofa bed from us yesterday! I should have given them the chair as well...we buy things from them too, they are great.

I do hope that things improve for you. It can't go on like this for ever. Something good will happen sooner or later. thankyou again for all your time helping me out, I feel so much better just having your support.

SoupDragon Wed 04-Jul-12 11:37:12

I would be tempted to smash the chair (or a similar one) up and send her a photo saying "unfortunately it was damaged when being packaged up".

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 11:37:55

AWV, I'm ashamed to - it's rubbish! It's really old...'vintage' or retro style, I think 1960s, certainly not worth paying a courier to collect.

She buys a lot of this stuff, apparently they refurbish cafes. I did describe its faults but can't imagine why she would want it!

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 11:38:25

Soupy, LOL gringrin

the hazards of packing things eh

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 11:38:36

Thanks Emilie - am fine. Have a new kitten who is the best medicine smile Am happy to help anytime.

If the woman does up cafes then your chair will be worth a lot more than £10 plus courier TO HER.

Go on, smash it up.

<<goes under the stairs to fetch dp's sledgehammer>>

fergoose Wed 04-Jul-12 11:47:21

have you seen how much shabby chic stuff sells for on eBay? I have just had to refurnish my whole house so have done extensive research!

5madthings Wed 04-Jul-12 11:49:29

what a rude, unpleasant woman!

i have to say if i see something i want and its collection only then i will email the seller and ask if they will accept a courier, if they say no i dont bid, simples!

what a cheeky mare, hope you get i resolved!

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 11:54:21

LOL Flibbers! Pass it over here! <rolls up sleeves>

Thanks guys, you are all amazing. Whatever she does now I don't think I really care any more.

As long as the chap I sold my bike to isn't like her, we'll be

By the way if she argues any more, sellers have to OFFER paypal on their listings. But they are not obliged to take it.

Let us know any further developments, and by the way if you had listed it as 'shabby chic' in the first place you'd have got a higher price. I put an old briefcase/handbag on at 99p start which didn't sell. A friend advised I relist it as 'vintage' and I got £23!!!

People really ARE that gullible...

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 16:49:31

Lol, yes, I can see how that happens...I can't bring myself to type 'sh*bby ch*c though as everything on ebay seems to have that label!

Someone on the ebay boards suggested I offer to let them take it if she/the courier pays cash. The thing is although this would work for me, I know I'm bound to get a negative anyway now, so I'm not sure it's worth the hassle.

What do you think?

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 16:51:19

Should I just tell her that - that I no longer have any incentive to sell it to her under any circumstances - and see what she says? Maybe if she really wants it she will promise not to leave negative feedback.

Though she still could of course. I just wish it was all over.

SoupDragon Wed 04-Jul-12 16:55:58

I rather suspect you will get a negative whatever you do now. You can take that out of the equation when deciding what to do.

I say stuff her. Say the item is broken and unusable and donate it to charity.

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 16:58:44

She'll know I'm lying though Soupy...I want to keep as much integrity as I can iyswim. But I might just tell her I won't discuss it further and she can do what she likes.

If she knows it won't bother me, she might not bother to neg./report etc etc.

SoupDragon Wed 04-Jul-12 17:07:36

Ok, take a photo of a bonfire and send it with the message "the chair is no longer for sale". No lies as you've not actually said the chair is on the bonfire... grin

You're right though, I wouldn't do it.

EmilieFloge Wed 04-Jul-12 20:10:59

That is completely brilliant grin

No word so far this evening. Might I have got through to her? I do hope so.

I think I will just ignore though from now on.

CJ75 Mon 01-Oct-12 16:19:58

This is gripping stuff. I am in the same position. Only my item sold for 99p. Now seller is asking for weight/measurements......well if I was prepared to deal with a courier I would have got more than 99p wouldn't I? (It is an unused Tinylove mobile that cost £25 in it's box). Now waiting on them to get back to me after I have said again and again no courier. The buyer works for a courier.

CJ75 Mon 01-Oct-12 16:20:56

How did it end up?

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