Excuse or honest- your opinions please!

[kyala]

Here goes:
I bid on a few items from one seller, before the listings ended I emailed the seller asking if they would be willing to reduce p+p (as the postage was quite high if added together and I knew the overall cost would be quite low) received no reply, won items and still no reply.
Sent payment promptly (as always), Emailed seller again (politely as always), received items very quickly , Emailed seller again just to ask if they had received my original emails and, basically, could they just let me know how they work out p+p costs, (as I was, by now, thinking that they were just scamming for p+p) and, if they failed to reply I would have to leave FB and let others know of my expierience (I was intending to leave either neutral or positive as was V happy with the actual items just no comms and high postage etc).

Anywho, I've since received an email stating that I was a very rude person, they had been in hospital, they did not want to do business with me would I please send items back and they would refund etc etc etc, they were quite forceful in their language.

I emailed back as, after reading it felt very guilty as I in no way intended to be rude about it, was just worried that I had absolutely no reply, stated this and immediately left + FB with no mention of the wait etc.

Told Dh what had been said in Email and he said I should've left - FB as it sounds like a total scam and loads of folk, if they want to get out of something and have the buyer feel sorry for them, say they've been in hospital.

I'm still waiting for them to leave FB for me to see whether they were genuine or not, as I think, they way I worded my last Email, they'd leave + FB if they're genuine (that's right folks, I apologised that much! )

So, what are your opinions on this? How should I have dealt with it if you think I've gone the wrong way about it? What should I put in my reply to - FB (if they leave it)?

[pedilia]

I would not have left positive feedback, how bloody rude of them!!

There are loads of sellers now that have huge P&P costs and it really grates me, I don't bid if I think it is to high.
When I sell I charge for just the P&P, nothing else!

[kd73]

Kyala, am I correct in thinking they will refund you after you return goods????

Hmmm......

[onepieceoflollipop]

Maybe I haven't read your op correctly, but I would probably not have bid on the items in the first place if the p&p seemed unreasonably high. afaik the seller doesn't have to "barter" with the buyer if the prospective buyer doesn't like the postage charges, even if (as they were in this case) too high.

This isn't to say that you are wrong, I am just acknowledging that although the seller was unreasonable, you were on to a bit of a loser expecting him to back down and (for example) say "oh ok then I'll halve the postage costs!

[onepieceoflollipop]

p.s. the seller imo has behaved very rudely and unpleasantly but as I understand the "rules" he is technically in the right.

[sixlostmonkeys]

as said - you don't bid if you don't like the p&p. A seller is under no obligation to alter the p&P.
If you don't get a reply regarding a postage question then don't bid thinking you can change their mind later.
This seller probably felt you were pestering them. You had paid, they had sent items, you were happy with items and so this should have been the end of it tbh. Sending further emails asking if they had received previous emails would wind people up. I don't mean to sound harsh, but tbh if I had a buyer that continually emailed I'd probably do something similar (especially if I'd had a bad day....then open messages to see yet another message...)

As for wanting to leave a neut to warn others about high P&P, I also think this is wrong. You knew the P&P before you bid - they didn't alter it, lie about it......
and why leave a neg thinking they were lying to get out of it? what were they trying to get out of? They offered a refund.
Whether they were in hospital or not I don't know, but I reckon they were just really pissed off with the messages

[kyala]

Originally, I bid on the items, each p+p wasn't too bad but, once added together came to £7, actual cost was under £2, so obv wondered if they could bring it down a bit as it was all going to be in one package (so less packaging cost if nothing else), the items are gorgeous so didn't mind too much (the total that I paid was about what I'd pay in a shop I guess) I know I haven't lost out anywhere really but they've got so narked at me!

I didn't expect them to reduce the p+p, and obviously was prepared to pay it otherwise would not have bid on more than one item, but thought it might be worth asking, some people are prepared to reduce (as I am, and state as such on my listings).
I think the thing that get's me is that they've either taken it to heart that I've asked for some sort of break down of p+p costs (obv wouldn't mind if they include their travel costs etc) I guess I was just after a justification as to the fact that they had made no effort to reply. They say that they were in hospital and that their sister kindly packed up the items and sent them off, but, if this is true, she would have to have entered their Ebay account and this would mean that, as with most, the first thing that is on the page (at the top) is the messages received, right?! Surely, if you're doing this for someone, you'd just check the messages just in case there's an emergency re the listings etc? and reply that the seller is in hospital and will be able to reply once out? (I know I would)

kd73: Yes, that was the offer, and, even if I wasn't happy with the items, I wouldn't fall for that one after receiving such a touchy reply from them!

[kyala]

Or maybe I would be expecting too much involvement from a seller in this way?

[MsPontipine]

What shoddy service - you weren't to know they were in hospital and didn't get their emails - how did they post the items out then??!

They'd have still seen your messages and the dates you sent them etc. No they're not obliged to reduce the postage but most decent sellers do - I do - and have often refunded after posting if my charges have been excessive - not to the exact penny but I would't take the piss.

They sound a bit mental to me!!

[Flibbertyjibbet]

The ebay feedback lets you mark sellers right down for high postage. I had a message from ebay some months ago to the effect that sellers who get more than a few low marks for postage will have their items listed after everyone else's regardless of how long till auction finishes. So do that, no need to leave neg.

You bid for items at prices you agreed to (by bidding - if you don't like the price and postage then don't bid!) they sent them, you are happy with them - yet you threaten them with neg!!

YABU, and if I was them I'd be pretty pissed off too. Leave them pos feedback because you like the item and it arrived ok but give them a really low mark for reasonableness of postage on the two items. If another couple of people have bought from them and do the same thing then it won't be long before this sellers items are listed so far down the listings that they won't be able to sell anything again.
Revenge y'see, best done cold and sneakily!

[squilly]

I've had a buyer ask me for a partial refund on P&P after hubby posted parcel by second class post instead of 1st. I sent a cheque and apologised for the problem.

Having said that, I thought the buyer was a bit cheeky...it was a pound ffs and other people were selling the same thing with a much higher postage charge.

As a buyer I don't bid if I don't want to pay the P&P costs. If I decide I want the item badly enough, I'll bite the bullet and put up with it. I wouldn't neg anyone for high postage as I know the terms up front and it's a bit unfair!

[madamez]

I would have told you to get stuffed if I were the seller as well. You bought the items knowing the price, received them promptly, liked them and then basically pretty much blackmailed the seller by saying you would leave bad feedback if they didn't refund your postage costs.

[kyala]

Thanks Flibbertyjibbet, I forgot about the stars system when Emailing them, and you're right I shouldn't have threatened them, (but I think by that point I was on the 3rd email and just wanted some sort of response from them), I don't think I even would've given any FB instead as I wouldn't want to receive another neg from a crappy seller tbh!
Darn good advice, will definitely use it in the future

Squilly I wouldn't have neg'd them for high postage (as I said if I was that unhappy I wouldn't have bid in the first place) it was more the lack of response and then the narky email response and the fact that they totally went off on one (What?! Am I psychic now?!!)

Madamez I was not asking for a refund at all!! And by that point it wasn't even about the p+p it was about the bad communication, absolutely no response from a seller of any kind is classed as bad communication! How was I meant to know they were in hospital (if they really were)? All it would have taken was for them to say "Look I've been in hospital the past few days" and that would have been the end of it, (and it, more than likely, is)
I've now left them positive FB (despite the fact that I'm still not even totally convinced that they are telling the truth) and apologised immensely for not being more patient (but I had waited for well over a week).
I even pointed out to them that I wasn't fishing for a refund (or even partial refund) I just wondered how they concluded the p+p costs (as a lot of folk are really unreasonable, and with no reply I could only assume that they would be in this group of sellers)

I'm not an unreasonable person but it just p'd me off that I was getting nothing in the way of a response.
It worries me to think that people will con anyone out of money (even those that are obviously buying baby items to clothe their children ) I have been conned a few times and it'd be nice to think that there is someone out there that we can trust.

[kyala]

Squilly If I had been your buyer I wouldn't have even questioned a mere £1, that's just crazy talk!!

[squilly]

Thank you Kyala. I felt guilty as sin about it for a couple of days, then thought, get a grip woman. It's a pound! (about myself that is!).

And please don't think people are genuinely out to con you. Most sellers on Ebay are mums (that's how we get there, usually) and if we charge a lot of postage it's cos we think it'll cost that much OR it's to help towards general costs.

And yes, I know Ebay has always said you shouldn't do that, but 9 times out of 10 postage costs don't come close to covering the expense/time involved in ironing, laundering and folding clothes. And the darned things sell for buttons most the time, so I'd never begrudge anyone frontloading p&p on kids clothes.

I've learned some hard lessons buying on Ebay (got Primark stuff and paid loads for it, cos I didn't check the label...got crappy stuff, cos I didn't check condition...got shafted with the postage, cos I didn't think to add it on)...and that's part of the process. But I've also had lollipops in my parcels; people refunding excess postage; people putting extras in my parcels. Generally, I think the positive outweighs the neg.

Non communication is definitely worth getting about though. No seller should ever not communicate with someone. It's just asking for trouble. So you're within your rights to be cross about that!

Better luck with your next transaction Kyala.

[kyala]

Thanks Squilly you've definately lifted my spirits about it a bit.
It will be interesting to see what FB they leave for me, am kind of expecting a neg though

[squilly]

If they leave a neg, that's BANG out of order and I'd report it to Ebay. It won't do any good, but they are bringing in a new system to try to stop this. In future, Sellers won't be able to leave negative feedback for buyers. Personally, I think it's a bit bonkers, as it means people can ride roughshod over you as a seller, but it does mean retaliatory feedback will be a thing of the past.

The chances are they just won't leave feedback at all, so don't fret too much Kyala. If you leave pos, they'll leave pos, cos it's too much effort for them not to!

I'll keep everything crossed that that's what happens.

x

[sixlostmonkeys]

I guess I shouldn't be posting again but tbh this is getting my back up. It is this kind of scenario that makes me dread the FB changes.

The seller listed some items, which stated the P&P. Buyer asked about combined P&P but didn't receive a reply. Buyer should have replied either way, but who knows why they didn't? Buyer still proceeds to buy. (with no response about combined p&p the buyer should assume that postage stated is the postage to be paid, end of)
Seller sends items and items are good. The seller never at any point offered combined p&p and isn't obliged to. Once items are received and buyer is happy with them that is the end of it. The seller has fulfilled his/her obligations and certainly shouldn't be subjected to repeated messages and requests for a breakdown of the p&p (whether in hospital or merely just getting on with life)

Imo the buyer should receive a neg or neut for this behavior to warn other sellers (that despite clearly stating all description and terms the buyer will continually harass) It's not just retaliatory fb that the new FB changes will prevent, but genuine common sense ones.
No doubt, by not combining p&P sellers such as these will get marked down on the stars and listings will appear lower in the searches.

Well, that's me being Ms Unpopular for today

[MsPontipine]

Ooh I disagree

[kyala]

SLM: I do now totally see your POV in this sense (It was possibly a little impatient of me) I enquired with the first Email about reducing the p+p (no probs if they weren't prepared to, I do understand that there are other costs that have to be considered as I do some selling myself) but it was the, what I believed to be, continuous ignoring of a second enquiry (I feel that I have a right to know what the p+p is going towards as it did just look like that was how they were getting their profits, and on used items I wasn't convinced that it was entirely credible.

I know that I could've waited another day or something for a reply but how was I to know that they were in hospital?!
They could've got their sister (who posted all their listings off) to do any replies for them (even a generic one to inform of hospitalisation or something)

I've apologised and left them + FB, am not expecting them to leave anything in return (which I will be more grateful than receiving negative FB as I bought 4 items from them so it will drop my FB% immensely I think) and I haven't received any further messages from them in the way of acknowledgement to my apologies (which makes me still a little about them as, if I were in their situation, I'd have replied in some way, even if still narked about it).
I know for a fact that, the way I worded my Emails, were in no way nasty or threatening (and I worded as such when informing of what my next actions would be, I told them that I was just letting them know so as not to be shocked at neg FB rather than holding them to ransom as I wasn't making any demands!)

I'm not in favour of the new FB rules re sellers not being able to leave negative FB, that's just not right, and that's from a buyer's POV not just a seller's, it'd just be dishonest to use the system to the advantages that would be so obviously available in that situation!