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difficult buyer - problems collecting item

(42 Posts)
scaramanga Wed 04-Sep-13 01:00:49

Hello. I sold a wardrobe last Friday on ebay. Clearly stated collection only and Cash on Collection. I forgot to stipulate that I would like it collected within 7 days. £50

Buyer bid without any prior contact and paid the following day by paypal. Still no contact. I refunded Paypal immediately and sent polite notice stating "you may not have realised I stated cash on collection only so have refunded you payment and if you could contact me to arrange collection date and bring cash that would be super". Got brusque reply which said paypal was preferred payment method but would pay in cash and then suggested collecting the wardrobe between 1-2 today. I said this wasn't possible as I am at work and that evenings or weekend would be best (assuming this coming weekend 7th/8th sept). Just looked at emails before going to bed (big mistake) and have received a message asking if can collect wardrobe about 10ish tomorrow evening.

My partner is away at the moment and I dont want anybody i dont know coming into the house at 10 at night when children are in bed. I replied and said that was not a good time (but didnt go into detail) and said Saturday or Sunday would be best and that I could ensure somebody would be here between 9-5 each of those days.

Ping - another message - "That is not convenient as we are busy all weekend - we will collect the wardrobe on Sunday 15th between 5pm and 7pm"

This means I will have waited nearly 2 weeks to get rid of the wardrobe which I could do with having out of the house as we have already got new wardrobe in room and it is getting a bit crowded.

I can see I am at fault as didnt state when it needed to be collected by but do you think it is reasonable to expect they would collect within a week. They live about 1 hour from me and I assume they have a vehicle to transport this wardrobe as it is big.

My main worry as well is that they just might not turn up and then I will have wasted a couple of weeks. Any advice?

deliakate Wed 04-Sep-13 08:18:41

Not reasonable IMO to expect them to come and collect within a week. I think you should have offered shipment if you needed it out fast.

FannyMcNally Wed 04-Sep-13 08:23:19

Well they offered to collect twice and it wasn't convenient for you so I think YABU

FannyMcNally Wed 04-Sep-13 08:24:58

.....even though you didn't ask thatgrin

The thing with transport is that most people have to borrow large vehicles and they have to work around when it's available.

scaramanga Wed 04-Sep-13 09:23:56

I know what you are saying - I should have been more specific about wanting it collected by a certain date - but I couldnt have paid to post it - is is a huge wardrobe.

On the other hand - they didnt consult me before bidding about collection times and they havent said they are hiring a van - they have just suggested 2 collection times - one during the middle of weekday (most people are at work then) - and 2nd time just too late at night (10pm ish).

When I suggested this coming weekend and basically gave them 2 full days to look at they just said they are busy.

I can see both off your points and I know that I must list a collection by date for any future items like this but I am just wondering what repercussions might be if I cancel it - or if I can cancel it????

LilyBossom Wed 04-Sep-13 09:56:48

you can send them a cancellation request, but if they refuse it you will not get your final value fees back

You can't file a non paying bidder case because they did actually pay via paypal. They can of course still leave feedback, even if they agree to cancel the sale.

Tryharder Wed 04-Sep-13 10:19:13

Even thought this is not AIBU(!), I think YABU smile

Why on earth did the 10pm bother you? If an eBay buyer is going to murder you in your own home presumably the fact that its early evening rather than late would not deter him.

I think as the seller of an item, the onus is on you to be flexible rather than the buyer.

SoupDragon Wed 04-Sep-13 10:23:40

I'm afraid that I think you have been the "difficult" one. You didn't specify any sort of time restrictions in your listing and have refused two of their suggested times as inconvenient. They simply have not complied with invisible collection restrictions.

One of the perils of selling collection only items unfortunately.

allmycats Wed 04-Sep-13 10:23:41

YABU - they paid immediately by Paypal, whichtells you they are serious buyers and not going to pull out - e bay does not encourage cash on collection as it can lead to disputes. They have aksed to collect and you have refused. If I were them I would ask for a refund on the grounds that you are being unreasonable about collection.

NatashaBee Wed 04-Sep-13 10:28:47

I thin the key thing here is that the item is too big to go in a car, and they are going to have to hire/ borrow a van which they will have to work around availability for. You say yourself that you didn't specify a deadline in the auction so I think you're being a bit unfair.

scaramanga Wed 04-Sep-13 10:45:56

Ok - sorry I asked wink

No - seriously - I appreciate all your comments but I did specify cash on collection as that seems to be the advice given for items which are being collected (as no proof of posting so buyer could claim not received?)

I know they are no more likely to kidnap me at 10pm as opposed to 6pm but I have children who will be in bed and hopefully sleeping (back to school now) so having people appear at 10ish (and that is what they said) - not by 10pm - so could be 1030?? and remove a rather large wardrobe is firstly, not going to be a quiet job and secondly I just don't feel comfortable allowing strangers in my house late at night (irrational as that may seem). I might want to be in my comfy pants with a cup of cocoa smile

I have offered them dates to collect and I did refund the paypal payment immediately and explain very politely (with a friendly tone) that I had asked for cash. Their emails have been very abrupt.

However - I now have an update - which might explain further my issues.

They have sent an email saying they might just drive by late tonight or tomorrow and knock and if I am in collect in - now I think that is just cheeky.

They dont ask if it would be ok - the message says " We will be passing through that area tonight and tomorrow night after 9pm - so we are going to attempt collection - if you are in we will collect the item which are entitled to do - you will need to allow us access and possibly assist putting the item in our van"

Also I havent given them my address yet (although they know the area) - so how can they say they are going to do that?? Will they have my address from ebay? I will neeed to eat some spinach if they think I am going to lift that wardrobe.

Now - Am I still being unreasonable??? althought that wasnt my question.

Note to experienced ebayers - I am not an experienced ebayer I sell the occasional item - and buy more than I should - so my initial question was posed in order to get constructive advice ?? Many thankjs

scaramanga Wed 04-Sep-13 10:51:16

Before I posted that message I sent them a quick response saying tonight and tomorrow would not be convenient. I also asked if they were struggling to find times to hire/use the van. I have just checked again and they have said

"Why are you asking if we are hiring a van. We have our own van and we have bought the item knowing it will fit in the van. Please do not presume we are hiring a van or that we are using a courier. We are collecting other items we have bought tonight and tomorrow and we will attempt to collect the wardrobe"

I never mentioned a courier in my message??

Can somebody please tell me - could they have got my address from ebay?? I havent given it to them and yet they are saying they are coming for it tonight/tomorrow but they havent asked for my address either.

As I mentioned I have already refunded their paypal payment.

I am starting to regret this listing.

LilyBossom Wed 04-Sep-13 11:24:23

ebay will not encourage cash on collection because ebay own paypal and they lose out on fees. One of the biggest flaws of ebay/paypal is the collection of items situation.

Yes they will have your address from ebay. I think they are very rude to just presume they can turn up whenever - a mutually agreed time is meant to suit both parties, not just them. I would not be happy with strangers turning up at 10pm either.

SoupDragon Wed 04-Sep-13 11:29:15

They sound pissed off. If I was in, yes I would let them pick it up simply to get shot of it. Under no circumstances would I be helping them get it in their van though (I have a bad back but if need be I would invent one).

Can you get it down to the hallway so they don't have to come in your house?

scaramanga Wed 04-Sep-13 15:05:19

Thanks for responding.

Lilyblossom - How will they have my address from ebay though? I am sure that when I have paid paid people for items I have never seen their address although they get mine as sending items out. Also I remember a couple of years ago buying a local furniture item and having to ask the seller for their address as it didnt automatically show up? Do ebay just give sellers addresses out???

Soupdragon - They do sound pissed off - but to be honest that has been the tone of their messages from the get go - they havent asked if times ok - just stated "we will collect at such a time" I have been really polite, because that is how I am - but the tone of their messages has been abrupt all along - even when i instantly refunded their paypal payment.

I cant get the wardrobe down - it is massive - I dont want them turning up at 10:45 to find me flattened under a wardrobe wink

I am concerned that buyers can just get an address off ebay - this will be my last collection item I think - at least with advertising in local paper or local newsagent I can have a conversation with somebody about price/time for pick up etc before agreeing a deal with them.

MirandaWest Wed 04-Sep-13 15:08:33

When I first used eBay I remember sending cheques to pay and so it must have been possible to get the address to send it to. Not sure if its still like that now though.

bruffin England Wed 04-Sep-13 15:21:04

Do ebay just give sellers addresses out?
I was given a sellers mobile number by ebay when i was having problems with a seller. There is button that you can request sellers details once the sale has been completed.
I thought you were also discouraged to pay cash there would be no record and they can deny you paid them.

SoupDragon Wed 04-Sep-13 15:44:23

Could your address have been on something when they paid by Paypal?

RobotHamster Wed 04-Sep-13 15:47:32

I think i'd tell them to bog off and sell to someone else tbh.

sarahtigh Wed 04-Sep-13 17:08:27

I think YABU about collection

every time they have suggested you have said no albeit politely it was still no; unfortunately that makes you a non-performing seller you need to be more accommodating

next time state specifically

" cash on collection only; contact within 24 hours of auction ending; pickup within 7 days, evenings (not wednesday) between 6-9pm and all day Saturday/sunday
weekday daytime pick -up is not available or later in evenings sorry
unfortunately I can not help with removals"

or a variation on above

the only thing they said that was unreasonable was expecting help lifting in van, however they should expect it to be ready to remove, not have to move your bed etc to get to it

you can easily request sellers details once paid

ebay and paypal do not tell you so but they will admit when pressed that the seller has no proof of delivery if takes paypal for collection only so if buyer says item not arrived you have no proof that it was collected and you have to refund, paypal will admit that casjh is safer for seller when collecting so OP did right to refund, the only down side is that if they then subsequently do not turn up you can't file a non payment dispute

MrsJK Wed 04-Sep-13 17:16:55

Others would probably disagree but I personally would speak to EBay about cancelling the sale / asking if would give out your address. You may get negative feedback but surely that's better than all this run around especially if your not comfortable.

Alternatively do you have a male friend who could come over at a time after 9pm (or whatever they suggested!)

laeiou Wed 04-Sep-13 17:22:44

I'd be put off too. Telling you that they'll turn up at some unspecified time but perhaps after your bedtime is very rude.

Do you have a shed or garage that the wardrobe could be stored in while awaiting collection?

alemci Wed 04-Sep-13 18:00:05

I don't blame you yanbu. you asked for cash on collection which I would. they seem dictatorial in their tone.

I have sold and collected cash only. most people are fine and accommodating. have you got a relative or friend who could be there. 10 is far too late. I wouldn't answer phone or door after 9 p.m.

alemci Wed 04-Sep-13 18:01:21

seller gave address out on email, had to wait for them to send it I think.

NatashaBee Wed 04-Sep-13 18:23:37

you will need to allow us access and possibly assist putting the item in our van"

I know I said earlier in the thread that you were being a bit unreasonable... but that part of the seller's message is definitely rude and entitled!

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