I think my friend is anorexic / bulimic again

[boomoohoo]

Sorry I don't mean 'again', I know it never leaves as such.. But I think she's ill again.
Context: we are early 30s. She talks about her eds retrospectively, something she has had. She is very hard to talk to but I know I need to, in terms of her eds. I just don't know what to say?

Over the past year she's looked incredibly thin. She says she feels disgustingly skinny and is trying to put on weight. She always says she's trying but she isn't putting on any weight.

Her life has become a lot more stressful in the past year which is undoubtedly contributing. She is always ill too, colds/stomach bugs, which she blames on working with children. Half of me thinks its likely as she's underweight so prone to illness. But part of me can't help thinking its an excuse not to socialise too.

She lives with her mum who she has said is anorexic (on a fully functioning level) and her household is one of complete pure healthiness. I have never known them to have cheese / cake etc. she is very strict with what she eats and always has been.

I'm just really worried as she seems quite down and underweight T the moment.

What do u think the best way to broach this would be? Is there anything I can do? Thank you for reading

[Sparky05]

Tbh I think the best thing would be to get her out of her house for a while. If the mum is anorexic that won't be helping. Trust me my mother + grandmother.
If you can maybe go on holiday or have her stay at yours for a long weekend - after Christmas sometime? I know it's not 100% ideal but i think it helps a lot. Then you can check (inconspicuously) what she's eating - help her along a bit. Remember it's small steps. If you can afford it the holiday - just a short one could be good - away from work stress, the house and would probably get rid of all the colds she's been having etc
Good luck xx

[boomoohoo]

Thank you for your reply

Unfortunately a holiday won't be possible financially for me. And her staying over.. More than overnight would be unusual for us / no need, we don't live far away enough from each other to warrant it. But I do agree, I think it would help her massively if she had space from her mum.

[Gen35]

Is her mum aware of her anorexia? I'd talk to my friend directly about how living with her mum is hampering a full recovery. Recovered means eating everything in moderation, not eating super healthily all the time. They are normalising dysfunctional eating for each other. slipping a bit during stressful times is also a common thing - the local gp can weigh her on a regular schedule to make sure she's not losing too much if she kicks up at needing full blown help.