How to stay strong??

(8 Posts)
lovelilies Wed 09-Nov-16 10:51:44

After years of on/off with EA ExP , I've left him (again).
He won't fucking leave me alone though. Messages about how much he loves me, the kids want us back together (they don't!)
The messages are all about what HE wants! He's saying it's not fair that I let him think things were okay between us again (I was doing what I thought was best for the family- I got I wrong!) he's using the fact that I don't hate him and we can have fun together as a reason to get back together.
In reality life is so much calmer without him around! No treading on eggshells, no waiting around to see what he wants to do, organising our time around his work/ leisure commitments. Having to see his god-awful family!
Yes, it's bloody hard work having an 11 yo with suspected ASD, a 2.9 year old and a 4mo baby, but I need to know that I can do it!
He's still messaging, "all these things can be resolved "
I don't want to be horrible to him, but I wish he would leave me alone!
What can I say to him? Anyone been in this situation?

OneTiredMummmyyy Wed 09-Nov-16 22:11:09

How have you dealt with practical matters of the separation? His contact with the DC, finances etc? It may be beneficial to see a solicitor for a deed of separation to be drafted up. Your XP will see that you mean business now. He sounds like my X!!

lovelilies Thu 10-Nov-16 09:04:34

We've done all the financial stuff and contact in the past so have just gone back to that, thankfully.
I have my own house, he has DS 2/7. Pays maintenance (in full now).
It's because I've taken him back before, he thinks I will again.
He reminds me constantly of the good times and how we can do that again

OneTiredMummmyyy Thu 10-Nov-16 09:55:49

Sigh...this type of man never changes! I would just ignore his messages on that subject and stick to talking about the children. If he carries on, maybe tell him to stop otherwise it constitutes harrassment and you will report it. If it still carries on, I'd report it to police (non emergency).

OneTiredMummmyyy Thu 10-Nov-16 10:14:57

Whatever you do, do not delete those messages!

Me2017 Thu 10-Nov-16 10:26:31

You could say you want communication by posted letter only and then change your email address and whatsapp etc contacts so he cannot get through to you perhaps although that may not work well for the child contact arrangements I suppose. You could certainly stop telephone calls.

lovelilies Thu 10-Nov-16 16:47:36

He's just rung me to see if I wanted to go for tea and cake with him and DS confused
I hope he's not saying to DS "Let's see if Mummy wants to join us"
He's only 2 and would love us to all be together. He's not mad keen on being with Dad on his own sad

lovelilies Thu 10-Nov-16 16:48:07

I need to keep phone in case of emergencies etc

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