Can my ex demand he comes to the house?

(9 Posts)
MollyBloomYes Wed 19-Oct-16 16:43:36

I live with my parents. My ex left early a year ago when I was pregnant with our second child. Understandably my parents don't want him coming to the house

He is now demanding he be allowed access to the house in order to see the boys and put them to bed. He sees them every weekend and I have never stood in the way of this but never coming to our house.

He can't demand this can he? Surely he doesn't have a right to enter my home just because his children live there? The only situation I can think of is if we both owned a home and his name was still on the deeds but this is my parents house! Even if I were renting somewhere my own it seems bizarre I'd have to just let him in?!

I do have a solicitor but it's very expensive to ask one question so hoping someone on here can help out!

BenguinsMummy Wed 19-Oct-16 16:45:36

You don't have to let him into your parents house, it sounds as if he has adequate contact in place and if it is not stipulated in court docs then he has no legal right unless he makes a formal application.

12purpleapples Wed 19-Oct-16 16:54:45

Does he have a place where he can take your children and have them overnight?
He has no right to demand to come into the house.

HirplesWithHaggis Wed 19-Oct-16 16:55:29

As said, no, he cannot demand to walk into your parents' house, putting dc to bed or not. And no court would order such access either.

ayeokthen Wed 19-Oct-16 16:56:17

No, he can't demand that.

MyWineTime Wed 19-Oct-16 16:57:30

No he absolutely does not have the right to enter your parents' home.
I don't believe a court would even entertain that idea.

Fidelia Wed 19-Oct-16 17:01:26

No, he has no legal right to enter your parents' house, or any house you live in if he's not on the lease/deeds/rental agreement.

Also, it's not normal for him to have them every weekend and for the dc to have no downtime with you at weekends. My Ex also demanded this early on, and I had to negotiate to get weekend time with them.

Is he used to getting his demands met? Just email him saying:

"You have demanded to enter my parents house where I'm living, in order to put the children to bed. This is intrusive and disruptive to our established bedtime routine and neither I, nor my parents, give you permission to enter their house."

If you also want some weekend time then I'd also add:

"The children also need to spend weekend downtime with each of us. So I feel that from [date] we should move to a pattern of them spending alternating weekends with each of us, plus a regular consistent midweek evening with you, and [shared/X numbers of days] holidays"

Lweji Wed 19-Oct-16 17:51:01

Definitely not.

And if he wants to push it, he can do it through the court and waste his money.

Even if the house belonged to him, you could prevent him from entering if he was abusive.

You are separated, you don't have to put up with him.

MollyBloomYes Wed 19-Oct-16 19:09:17

Thank you. I thought I was going mad and doubting myself but it really is as unreasonable as I thought!

He doesn't have a place where he can have them overnight (hence why he now wants bedtime, presumably he could take or leave getting up with them in the wee hours hmm). This is why he has every weekend, it's usually 10-2.30 Saturday OR Sunday and extra days in the holidays (he's a teacher). As this is the only time I get to do anything uninterrupted by small people (like the joys of laundry or filing) I'm happy to continue with it. We've agreed once I've started work again or if he ever gets a suitable place then we will look at the arrangement again to factor in overnight stays and this will probably be a more formal agreement to give structure to everyone's week once they're in school.

Thank you, I'm glad I wasn't being silly but annoyed he's managed to make me question myself again!

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