Screwing up my kids

[Tingatingatale]

I left my ex h six months ago after an unhappy marriage. He spoke to me like crap for last 6/7 years of it and it was completely lacking in affection. We slept in separate rooms for years.

I threatened to leave three times in six months but never could because he put so many barriers in my way and it seemed impossible. I ended up meeting someone and we started messaging each other. This gave me the courage to leave. I left the marital home and took the children with me. Six months later we are still together although it has been very hard.

Ex h now knows and we have no contact. He hates me and the children have witnessed the fallout from this to the extent I have had to call the police and threaten a restraining order to get ex h to leave me alone. They still come back from contact full of a head of insults for me and how much they hate me for hurting their date but also know I can't go back. They have recently met new bf and their own ask. My eldest who is 7 recently informed me that he has told his 5 years old brother not to tell his dad as they love me so much and they know their dad will do nasty things to me If he finds out. What a thing for a seven year old to have on his head .

I had to leave. The kids couldn't live in that environment. They couldn't think that was normal. They need a happy mum. I just feel I am destroying them. Especially my eldest